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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have COMPLETELY lost my work mojo?

198 replies

backintothefire · 21/02/2022 09:54

I don't know what to do! I have completely lost all motivation for work these days and am really struggling to complete even the most basic tasks. I feel hugely resentful about work and dread Monday every week. Nothing about my work interests me or inspires me any more.

I used to love my job! But now every day is a slog and I hate it. I changed jobs a few months ago thinking it might re-invigorate me - NOPE! In fact now I feel even worse because it's clearly me that's the problem, not the job itself.

I honestly feel like I can't keep doing this. I've got 20+ years until retirement ffs. Anyone else feel the same? What's the solution?!

OP posts:
Chimchiminie · 21/02/2022 15:06

@eurochick

I am the same. Also mid-40s. I used to pretty much live for work and was very ambitious. Now I am just all out of motivation. I want to retire but have about another twenty years of this shit to go. I've stopped drinking the kool aid and just can't see why any of this shit matters any more.
Ha, I’m late 30s and feel the same..! Stopped drinking the kool aid sums it up
sansucre · 21/02/2022 15:08

@L0stinCyberspace

Same here; late 40s, perimenopausal, on HRT (did nothing to my motivation) and finding it impossible to concentrate, no motivation and dreading work and all the petty drama and nonsense for another 16 years at least. I think I nearly WANT work to give out to me about underperforming?

I've a rich fund of hobbies but I'm even feeling burnt out from them! Confused

Fitness good but currently injured so that's making me even more meh.

You might want to get your HRT re-jigged, particularly if there is no testosterone element - testosterone can be the thing that restores concentration and motivation, and brings life back into focus.
Nevermakeit · 21/02/2022 15:21

@Maverick197

I'm the same. Mid-fourties is a perfect storm really: menopause looming, having to come to terms with an aging mind and body, elderly parents who need us more, kids not financially independent yet, mortgage not yet paid off, retirement too far away to feel any relief... add to that the cost of living going up and two years of covid and it's no wonder that so many of us are struggling to find the mojo to work. I feel overwhelmed all the time and don't have the mental capacity to care about work.
Love this post. This is exactly me. I'm so glad to read others are feeling the same, I thought it was just me! These should be the best years of my life. But they're not. I'm just wishing I could fast forward 15 years, when the kids will be financially independant (just about), and I can afford to retrain to do something else, irrespective of salary.... though I will be 60 then, so how realistic that is I don't know. How sad is that....
ethelredonagoodday · 21/02/2022 15:21

I feel same. Am early 40s and have been WFH since the start of the pandemic. I feel like I achieve bugger all, and have no motivation for my work. Last year was a bad year for me, we had a very stressful house move at the start of the year. Then my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, but went through chemo and responded really well, then he got covid towards the end of the year and died due to complications. And now my grandma (my Dad's mum) has just died after having a massive stroke. She was in her 90s, so would have happened eventually, but coming so soon after my Dad it's very sad.
I just feel as though in light of all this, work seems so insignificant. I keep trying to spur myself on to get back into it, but it's just so hard.
My life outside of work is good, apart from the bereavements, but whereas before I was up for regularly socialising and seeing friends, I'm less bothered really. Just happy living in my little bubble. Maybe that's an age thing?!

middleager · 21/02/2022 15:25

This is me. Burnout. Same age and same responsibilities.
The obvious option, I tell myself, is to move. I've been applying for jobs, but at nearly 50, I'm not such an attractive prospect.

Cherryblossoms85 · 21/02/2022 16:18

God yeah. I was just thinking that. Someone offered me a new job and said oh do you want to do this for the next twenty years. My heart sank at the thought. I give everything five years, it's the most I can face, and then I have this idea of retiring early. Never going to happen of course.

Cherryblossoms85 · 21/02/2022 16:24

@indiesearcher Yeah I don't quite understand why I ever made so much effort with work! I have been doing the absolute basic minimum for at least six months, and yet I've had nothing but praise for my "great presentations" (which involved making bold statements underpinned by very little delivery). Maybe that's why men get ahead?

Janif · 21/02/2022 16:31

Are we the same person??? I could've written your post word for word, even down to changing job a couple of months ago.

I just think same shit different day.

OakPine · 21/02/2022 16:44

I find it quite patronising that whenever a 40s or 50s women expresses any thing negative, a flood of mumsnetters jump in with ITS THE MENOPAUSE.

FFS it is possible to hate your job without it being hormonal

somanylies · 21/02/2022 16:49

[quote Cherryblossoms85]@indiesearcher Yeah I don't quite understand why I ever made so much effort with work! I have been doing the absolute basic minimum for at least six months, and yet I've had nothing but praise for my "great presentations" (which involved making bold statements underpinned by very little delivery). Maybe that's why men get ahead?[/quote]
Yes, I absolutely think this is why so many men get ahead! That and the extraordinary number of truly awful managers who only look at the superficial stuff and have no grasp of detail so are unable to tell if a shit job is being done or not, (as per your example).

Spidey66 · 21/02/2022 16:53

Me too.

I’m a community mental health nurse and while I enjoy the patients all the tickboxing is demoralising and time consuming plus a lack of resources means I can’t offer patients a fraction of what they need.

I’m only 4 years away from retirement so retraining isn’t an option.

We’re in London and cleared our mortgage. What we’re planning on now is selling our flat, moving somewhere cheaper and living off the equity till I get my NHS pension. We’re working on it…need to extend our lease to make it sellable

TheMoth · 21/02/2022 17:07

I think that's why we get so disillusioned with it all. You realise that all the sacrifices you made, were just bollocks and you didn't actually have to work that hard. Especially when you were juggling small children.

Wonder if it's delayed burnout from those years. Or having seen everything come round before and none of it make a difference.

Torres10 · 21/02/2022 17:09

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but I am on HRT & testosterone, and whilst it has helped restore my motivation for exercise and general life stuff, its not done anything for my work motivation!
I don't think it has anything to do with menopause as a rule, particularly if the disillusionment is just work related..I think covid wfh has a lot to answer for as it reduces the social element of work and structure to a day and whilst there are upsides to this I think there are downsides too, which we don't notice til its too late!

tammyjess · 21/02/2022 17:30

I'm the same. I sit scrolling through my phone a lot..Facebook, LinkedIn, Mumsnet and back again. Feel totally unmotivated..

MoltenLasagne · 21/02/2022 17:38

People who do a job which is supposed to be inspirational or fulfilling in some way get a raw deal. You still have to put up with the mundane, the tedious bureaucracy and the job politics but somehow its meant to be worth it to be "making a difference".

On top of that, because you're emotionally engaged with your job it can blur the boundaries of work/home life and you end up putting in crazy hours for relatively low reward.

This is fine in your 20s and even 30s where you're progressing relatively quickly and have fewer home commitments but once promotion opportunities dry up and home life gets more demanding you realise how difficult it all is. And then add on top the ultimate insult - everyone expects you to still love your job because its so inspirational or fulfilling.

stuntbubbles · 21/02/2022 17:55

DP feels this way too and he’s definitely not menopausal Grin

90% of work is total bollocks. I spent an entire week a couple of months ago copying and pasting information from a PDF to a Word document for some beef-for-brains client who preferred that format. Just let me die, tbqh.

Leah2005 · 21/02/2022 18:06

Make a change now while you can. I moved into my job following redundancy (transferred within the company) and quite quickly got fed up. I left it and left it (I'm paid well, work part time, lots of leave etc) and I'm still there 11 years later. Only now I'm 55, lacking confidence and motivation to move and feel like I'm shrivelling away. I was signed off for 6 weeks with burn out - now back to work and obviously nothing has changed. Get out while you can.

TheMoth · 21/02/2022 20:51

@MoltenLasagne

People who do a job which is supposed to be inspirational or fulfilling in some way get a raw deal. You still have to put up with the mundane, the tedious bureaucracy and the job politics but somehow its meant to be worth it to be "making a difference".

On top of that, because you're emotionally engaged with your job it can blur the boundaries of work/home life and you end up putting in crazy hours for relatively low reward.

This is fine in your 20s and even 30s where you're progressing relatively quickly and have fewer home commitments but once promotion opportunities dry up and home life gets more demanding you realise how difficult it all is. And then add on top the ultimate insult - everyone expects you to still love your job because its so inspirational or fulfilling.

Yes! I keep getting told I have a vocation. This makes me look guiltily round at everyone else, because I just thought it was a job; career at best.

But look at the difference you make, cry those on much better salaries. But actually, that doesn't do it for me, when my wages won't make me feel secure.

TheMoth · 21/02/2022 20:52

@stuntbubbles

DP feels this way too and he’s definitely not menopausal Grin

90% of work is total bollocks. I spent an entire week a couple of months ago copying and pasting information from a PDF to a Word document for some beef-for-brains client who preferred that format. Just let me die, tbqh.

I think most of my career has been spent doing shit like this!
howardmoonseyebrow · 21/02/2022 21:18

Feel the same! Early 40s, no motivation for anything, haven’t exercised for ages even though I’d probably feel better if I did just cba. Hating work at the moment feeling like I’m looking after primary school children - I’m not ! Usually really enjoy work but everything about it feels a grind at the moment, the thought of doing it for another 20+ years makes me feel like screaming.

PeggyGa · 21/02/2022 22:32

Thought this was just ne

Ipadannie · 21/02/2022 22:48

Another snap. Have wfh for two years. Haven't even met my colleagues face to face. Elderly parents who need more than I feel I can give. Teenagers still at home. DH changing jobs which will include shift work including nights. Trying to do everything and failing. And shit hormones. Just enough.......Confused

killerofhouseplants · 21/02/2022 22:55

I met my colleague in the street the other day, he retired just before Christmas. He was positively glowing with health and sounded so energised.

Lucky bastard.

indiesearcher · 21/02/2022 23:03

Lying here knowing I have to actually go to the office tomorrow.

I haven't located any work clothes, I have t sorted kids PE kits, I haven't looked at train times... I'm paralysed by it all and I can't sleep. I too just scroll and scroll through various websites and social media channels to pass the day rather than engaging with my work or my colleagues.

Somewhere between depressed, burnt out, bored and being a lazy cow.

GiveUsACoffee · 21/02/2022 23:31

I feel exactly the same. Im juggling two contracts, working both in one week. I've just spent all evening working for one, and realised I've made a big boo boo for one of their clients. I have a meeting with the boss first thing tomorrow about something else, and I feel too stressed to sleep. I am hoping I can get through the meeting tomorrow without crying.