To have COMPLETELY lost my work mojo?

[backintothefire]

I don't know what to do! I have completely lost all motivation for work these days and am really struggling to complete even the most basic tasks. I feel hugely resentful about work and dread Monday every week. Nothing about my work interests me or inspires me any more.

I used to love my job! But now every day is a slog and I hate it. I changed jobs a few months ago thinking it might re-invigorate me - NOPE! In fact now I feel even worse because it's clearly me that's the problem, not the job itself.

I honestly feel like I can't keep doing this. I've got 20+ years until retirement ffs. Anyone else feel the same? What's the solution?!

I could have written your post, I am definately Peri, sadly HRT is taking some sorting due to other medical issues.

I have got through to round two for a job I interviewed for last week and I am pulling out, even in the interview I just thought god no, I figured I am better off where I am. I have decided to drop my hours slightly to enable me to so a little bit more for myself. I have to stop searching for jobs though as I am certain it is not the answer. I am well respected where I am and if I have a health flare up they understand to a degree.

Sorry I don't have the answer other than throw yourself into things you love outside of work. I have started to go for a walk everyday at lunch.

Had this very conversation with my best friend today. We’re sold a lie about work and careers; if I could have my time again I’d slog my guts out for something mega high earning asap and stuff it all in a pension pot and aim to retire early; will be advising my kids to do the same

This is my advice to my kids too!

Oh god it looks like the mid-40s are the worst time for this! Why didn't anyone warn us?

Mid life crisis - that point at which sandwich generation phenomenon starts to kick in to daily life, frustrations with work come to a head, any career disappointments become magnified, teens to wrangle, often still with a mortgage, minor health glitches can appear - and all whilst facing another 20 yrs of work.

For women the appearance of menopause symptoms is a bonus

If your workload has not dropped then go back to 5 contractual days - at least you will get paid for it. Otherwise give the HRT a few weeks and then you may feel better equipped to push back on the demand for five days work even when officially working four days.

I'd take a step back, don't panic, and give yourself time to think about what's changed and what you might want from life.

Maybe set yourself a goal of being out and somewhat reinvigorated in a year. You can suck it up for a year.

And then get very very active about figuring out what you want for the next couple decades.

I don't know how old you are but there was a piece in the times about midlife burnout over the weekend. There's a lot of it about.

If you want to look at changing work, Careershifters is a good organisation

i feel the same and have less years to retirement, so scared about changing jobs

It could be a combination of perimenopause and also just dissatisfaction generally.

I feel similar to you but in a job and field where I'm not happy and not interested but its a contract and could go permanent if I wanted.

I'm retraining soon though.

A career counsellor/life coach can help get perspective and give you ideas, I did this the year of the first lockdown and it really helped me.

Your post completely resonated with me. In my late 30s a couple of years ago I just completely lost all oomph. Eventually I lacked all purpose and desire to live. I was just going through the motions, longing for bedtime.

I reduced my outgoings drastically and threw everything at the mortgage. Then I went down to 4 days a week. Then I paid off the mortgage at 38 and handed my notice in.

The first few weeks were great. Then I found that I still lacked purpose and a will to live, only now I don't have any steady money coming in. Covid made it easier as there was less opportunity to spend.

I take it one day at a time. I try to shower every day.

@backintothefire

Oh I'm completely burnt-out *@Buzztothemoon*, I know that. My role has a pastoral aspect and every time someone comes to me with a problem or issue I just want to scream fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckoffffffffff at them

My role falls into sort of pastoral occasionally (team agony aunt) and I can wholeheartedly relate to that

Me too OP. Late 40s, need to work for another 20 years, and have lost all my motivation.

I feel like this to an extent, having previously loved my job.

However we are chronically short staffed and morale is extremely low. We are frequently asked to work in situations that could go horribly wrong if the wheels came off so to speak, and the pressure of this takes it's toll on everyone.

I am currently buying a house so doing massive amounts of overtime which certainly hasn't helped as sometimes it feels like I'm never away from the place. I tell myself it won't be like this forever and that I do actually help people during the course of my shift. It doesn't change the fact that I have to do this for another twenty years or so

I feel the same op I am definitely peri menopausal so not sure if it’s that as well. I am starting a new job in a few weeks not sure if that will help or if my motivation will disappear there as well
I need to hand in my resignation and am so tempted to just give a weeks notice and have a few weeks off to see if that helps

I’ve felt the same recently OP - and I’m self-employed!

In the past I’ve really thrown myself into my work and enjoyed it.

I feel like it has to do with the isolation of working at home and the general isolation of the last few years. It all feels sort of pointless when it’s just day after day at home on a laptop or phone.

I think the last few years has made me think about life more too, and I feel like I’ve realised how short life is and at the moment am just seeing things from a different perspective. I feel like I could fo with a holiday and change of scene to refresh.

Another one here feeling the same. I don't have the option to find another role as I'm running the company! My big problem is related to home life and until I get that sorted I can't see my mindset changing.

I really feel for you and feel very much the same - hence I am on mumsnet when should be working!

Don't know what to suggest though. I accessed some counselling through work and all the suggestions re self care etc seem like more tasks to add to a never ending 'to do' list.

If there's a financial necessity to work then it really limits the options. Hope that you might be able to get a good holiday somewhere warm that will remind you that the good parts of life are still out there, as the last two years have been a bit relentless and repetitive.

@backintothefire What are you doing that's actually fun?

I don't mean in your job, but are you getting down time at evenings and weekends to do things you enjoy, or are those just full of chores and other boring things?

If you don't live to work (like most people), you can only survive working to live if you're enjoying your life outside of work.

I could have written this post.... Sometimes apply for other jobs, but I know the problem isn't the job, it's me....
I think it is made worse by everything is done on Zoom, rather than face to face.... but equally if I had to go into the office that would be 2 hours out of my day, and I definitely don't want that.
I just wish my life away, and hang on for evening/weekends/holidays when 'life' actually happens.

Same here. Totally understand.

I’m also physically unwell and sleep deprived so ‘just getting on with it’ doesn’t really feel available to me in the way it would if I felt otherwise well.

Me too. Late 40s, I had a 'proper' career in London up until my early 40s then we moved back to my hometown and I took a job in an entirely different sector on half the money (hoping for half the stress!). 6 years later I hate the 'new' job as much as I did the old one, and I'm just as stressed and annoyed by it.

I'm looking at other jobs but can't afford a further salary drop, so everything I'm skilled to do is reasonably similar to what I do now, and so I can't realistically see me becoming super enthusiastic about any new job either. I just want to retire!!!

I am constantly reminding myself of the 'good' things about my job to try and keep motivated (payday, WFH, most of the people are nice, some of it is interesting) and some days it does the trick, others it doesn't. Gah.

Yep me too. I adore my job and my company normally but really can't be arsed with it in the past month or so. I switch on for the meetings and then drift again... Have been fantasising about being made redundant with a decent package so I can just do some DIY and gardening for a few months and retrain... I'm hoping it's just winter/post Covid and I'll spring back into it. I'm a single mum and really can't afford to drop hours (already doing 4 days). Early 40s.

I feel the same OP.

I moved jobs in Sept 2019 and was already finding it boring when COVID hit and I went 100% wfh. Team is just me and my boss so no friends to keep in touch with, no social aspect at all.

But we were TTC so I couldn't really leave, and now I'm pregnant so definitely can't leave, and while I'm looking forward to hopefully looking for something new after maternity leave, I'm also worried my hands might be tied by how convenient it is to be wfh full-time once I have a child (easier pick-ups, drop offs, no issue if they are off sick etc).

It's just a combination of things really - I feel like this role is much more junior than my previous ones (even though it's ostensibly the exact same role and higher paid), and I just have no interest in what I'm doing day-to-day.

Do you have a degree OP? You could qualify for a grant/bursary to train to teach. I was completely burnt out in my last job, and could barely drag myself to work. Everyone was saying ‘go and train to be a teacher’ which I thought was ludicrous and completely unsuitable for me. But, they were right, and three years later I’m honestly loving my job and life. There are several 45+ ladies currently doing their teacher training, with kids at home. Best of luck to you x

No answers but it surprises me that it’s so surprising to people that spending most of their lives as wage slaves would start to become tedious.

Of course you hate work…that’s normal! You’re at a stage in life where you realise you don’t have that long left and you don’t want to spend it doing the usual rubbish. It coincides with menopause but I don’t think everything can be blamed on hormones.

Haven’t read the full thread but I was heading towards burnout and turns out it was iron deficiency. B12 is another deficiency seen in our population. I’m not saying it’s this, but do consider the possibility of a physical heath issue.

If you have any random physical symptoms that seem unconnected, worth getting them checked.

Mine were lethargy, memory loss and low motivation at work as I struggled to focus. I also had pain in Achilles’ tendon and restless legs. Plus tinnitus in ears after exercise. I only realised these were connected after being diagnosed as iron deficienct following a routine blood test.

Same here; late 40s, perimenopausal, on HRT (did nothing to my motivation) and finding it impossible to concentrate, no motivation and dreading work and all the petty drama and nonsense for another 16 years at least. I think I nearly WANT work to give out to me about underperforming?

I've a rich fund of hobbies but I'm even feeling burnt out from them!

Fitness good but currently injured so that's making me even more meh.

@DogsAndGin

Do you have a degree OP? You could qualify for a grant/bursary to train to teach. I was completely burnt out in my last job, and could barely drag myself to work. Everyone was saying ‘go and train to be a teacher’ which I thought was ludicrous and completely unsuitable for me. But, they were right, and three years later I’m honestly loving my job and life. There are several 45+ ladies currently doing their teacher training, with kids at home. Best of luck to you x

My role already involves teaching (not an actual school teacher though) and that's probably the bit I hate most, so...maybe not

Don't want to sound like a dick but I have degrees coming out of my arse (2 undergrad degrees, a masters, teaching qualification and other professional quals). I'm probably over-qualified for lots of things which doesn't help with the feeling of paralysis.