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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have COMPLETELY lost my work mojo?

198 replies

backintothefire · 21/02/2022 09:54

I don't know what to do! I have completely lost all motivation for work these days and am really struggling to complete even the most basic tasks. I feel hugely resentful about work and dread Monday every week. Nothing about my work interests me or inspires me any more.

I used to love my job! But now every day is a slog and I hate it. I changed jobs a few months ago thinking it might re-invigorate me - NOPE! In fact now I feel even worse because it's clearly me that's the problem, not the job itself.

I honestly feel like I can't keep doing this. I've got 20+ years until retirement ffs. Anyone else feel the same? What's the solution?!

OP posts:
MintyFreshBreath · 21/02/2022 13:31

I feel like this too and I’m not even 40 yet. MIL is retiring in just over a week and I’m so jealous!! I wish i could just down tools and never have to worry about shitty stuff that I don’t give a toss about.

Original poster
backintothefire · 21/02/2022 13:34

Sorry that probably sounded a bit twatty @DogsAndGin, apologies. It's fab that you've found something you love!

OP posts:
bibliomania · 21/02/2022 13:35

I was feeling this very strongly last year and was disheartened by applying for other jobs but not getting anywhere. I feel a bit better so far this year - some of it is just because work has calmed down (my role is quite cyclical) and some of it is due to focusing on things outside work. I am mainly working from the office again, which gives my day more shape.

I think it's worth saying that this might be a temporary feeling, and it can be risky to look for permanent solutions to temporary situations. This isn't intended as a call to inaction and I wouldn't rule out a big change. But it might be worth sitting with the feelings for a while, and trying out some of the actions suggested by other posters, and see if at least some of your mojo trickles back.

indiesearcher · 21/02/2022 13:37

Me too.

Nice to know I'm not the only one though.

Doesn't anyone else basically get by doing the absolute minimum too? I'm wondering when I'll get found out.

Daenerys77 · 21/02/2022 13:42

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I feel the same way and am well past menopause, so I don't think it's a 'time of life' thing. I thought part-retirement would fix it but no.

Jbck · 21/02/2022 13:52

Joining in to agree and look for inspiration 😊

Avarua · 21/02/2022 13:53

I moved countries because of this feeling. Been great so far. Living in a warm climate helps.
There are options out there. Be brave, try a total change.

candycane222 · 21/02/2022 14:00

Haha like Daenerys Im well past menopause Im afraid, but I found just want to scream fuckofffuckofffuckofffuckoffffffffff so relatable. Family, cats, clients, husband. Why won't they all just fuck off! For me having had almost zero alone time (and no prosect of that improving - thanks 'new working patterns' plus two years of teyinf to absorb the srresses of various cv/unwell/messed around by covid family members has just drained all my batteries. I wonder if the people who have sailed on through are actually the exceptions?.

Dentistlakes · 21/02/2022 14:00

For me, I had to identify my ‘why’ and give myself a giant kick up the arse. I work to give my kids a good home and education. If I muck up, I let them down. The impact would effect them in a negative way. That’s my motivation. Also, I spend time looking after myself physically and mentally and have goals outside work. Exercise early each morning before work has also helped.

You have my sympathy op, it’s a shit place to be and it takes a lot of effort to life yourself out and stay out.

Jet888 · 21/02/2022 14:03

I feel same sometimes (late 30s and a teacher. Dont want even more work and stress of senior leadership) but stagnating too...I think its because in my 20s I never thought , ' well, il do this job in currently in for the next 20 years...' but now totally changing careers or even progressing is one i don't have the time, energy, effort for with 2 young kids....

DenholmElliot · 21/02/2022 14:06

Doesn't anyone else basically get by doing the absolute minimum too? I'm wondering when I'll get found out.

Yeah me. I do just enough work to not get sacked. Most of my colleagues are the same too.

Bostromani · 21/02/2022 14:07

I could quite happily not work and watch episodes of 'Death In Paradise' on I Player all day, Maybe chuck a few 'Doc Martins' in as well.

I just want to ' quit ' the rat race, but have too many commitments , financially and family, to ever live the very simple life I crave.

HOWEVER.

I can book a day off work every now and then and pretend. Sometimes that's enough to get me through a few more months.

Maverick197 · 21/02/2022 14:09

I'm the same. Mid-fourties is a perfect storm really: menopause looming, having to come to terms with an aging mind and body, elderly parents who need us more, kids not financially independent yet, mortgage not yet paid off, retirement too far away to feel any relief... add to that the cost of living going up and two years of covid and it's no wonder that so many of us are struggling to find the mojo to work. I feel overwhelmed all the time and don't have the mental capacity to care about work.

NatashaBedwouldbenice · 21/02/2022 14:10

I liked the book, How To Be Happy And Have Everything You Want (or something like that). I saw it recommended on MN years ago and it helped with bringing a bit more fun and joy in to my life.

Hmm, I should give it a re-read myself...

Original poster
backintothefire · 21/02/2022 14:21

@Maverick197

I'm the same. Mid-fourties is a perfect storm really: menopause looming, having to come to terms with an aging mind and body, elderly parents who need us more, kids not financially independent yet, mortgage not yet paid off, retirement too far away to feel any relief... add to that the cost of living going up and two years of covid and it's no wonder that so many of us are struggling to find the mojo to work. I feel overwhelmed all the time and don't have the mental capacity to care about work.
Every word of this is true.
OP posts:
Koala817263549 · 21/02/2022 14:23

Following

endofthecorridoor · 21/02/2022 14:24

OP this really resonated with me and i felt like i was loosing my mind. I run my own business and the more successful it was the more i just hated it . I worked from home and spent all day faffing about on the internet or reading a book or anything rather than just getting on with it. In my case it was fixed when i opened up to DH about it and he was feeling exactly the same about his work. Ended up both working on the business together and it just resolved itself. I'm just not very self motivated with work stuff . Also late 40's

NatashaBedwouldbenice · 21/02/2022 14:25

I'm the same. Mid-fourties is a perfect storm really: menopause looming, having to come to terms with an aging mind and body, elderly parents who need us more, kids not financially independent yet, mortgage not yet paid off, retirement too far away to feel any relief... add to that the cost of living going up and two years of covid and it's no wonder that so many of us are struggling to find the mojo to work. I feel overwhelmed all the time and don't have the mental capacity to care about work.

Also, we have to remember it's February. It's cold and dark. Life will feel better in June.

Original poster
backintothefire · 21/02/2022 14:33

Yes, February and a cold house don't help, for sure. But I have felt like this for a good while now - I was searching for a new job just before lockdown but obviously Covid threw everything into disarray. Funnily enough my job actually got more interesting / exciting for a while but now it's just a monotonous slog.

I'm just too scared to make a big change though. Years ago, pre-mortgage, pre-kids, I would have just leapt at change. But now...I feel as if it's selfish to want to feel happier at work.

OP posts:
Avarua · 21/02/2022 14:36

It's not selfish. You have only one short life.

1AngelicFruitCake · 21/02/2022 14:38

I’m a teacher, have felt like this since having children, more so since Covid.
Things that help me
Making big deals of little things so making more effort with Monday night tea each week is a great start to the week
Planning adventure and general nice things to do out of work
Drinking more water, eating better (need to get back on this!) and getting fresh air

I think I’m expecting too much and that’s what we’re all fed in a way, that our lives should be better than this! I know I have a nice life but think I need to remind myself of it more often!

Minikievs · 21/02/2022 14:47

Ah, I have found my people! I have just googled burnout. I have never had anything describe my feelings/thoughts/anxieties about work so succinctly.
Changing jobs would make no difference, this is a new issue, not a job issue.
I am a single parent, so the stresses of kids mean that I feel like I get zero downtime at home. I literally sit here everyday daydreaming of winning the lottery as the thought of doing this for another 25 years makes me suicidal. I'm 43.
It's a vicious circle. I am so demotivated, I hardly do the bare minimum and then I'm scared I'll get the sack.
The best way to describe it is brain fog. I'm just so tired and bored and zero motivation.

LiveFromNewYork · 21/02/2022 14:50

I have this a bit. Don't hate my job, only work four days but it all just seems very meh. I think part of it is having been round the block too many timesby now to be able to stomach some of the management (sorry strategic) bullsh*t and whereas when I was younger the aim seemed to progress career wise, now I'm not sure I want to play the game. I envy others that can.

For those saying HRT didn't help, testosterone might be the missing ingredient as that helps with get up and go. Not easy to get but since I've been taking it I feel like I could do something about my situation, whereas before that seemed impossible.

But I also agree that it might just be hitting the low of the 'Happiness Curve' - research suggests your mid to late forties are your least happy years.

eurochick · 21/02/2022 14:55

I am the same. Also mid-40s. I used to pretty much live for work and was very ambitious. Now I am just all out of motivation. I want to retire but have about another twenty years of this shit to go. I've stopped drinking the kool aid and just can't see why any of this shit matters any more.

NatashaBedwouldbenice · 21/02/2022 15:01

It's isn't selfish OP. Life really is too, too short for this shit.