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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That bugger isn't a swear word

185 replies

Pinkwithwhite · 20/02/2022 22:37

DD said you cheeky bugger. I have no issues with this husband is really cross about it.
Who's being unreasonable
YABU— Child shouldn't be saying it
YNBU - It's not ok

OP posts:
Namaste6 · 21/02/2022 04:21

@MaryAndHerNet 🤣🤣🤣🤣

JustLyra · 21/02/2022 04:26

Surely it totally depends on the age of the child

My teen saying it to another teen - no issue

My 5yo saying it to an adult - not ok

Lorw · 21/02/2022 05:05

I think it depends who you ask. I remember my very old Nan (who I adored btw) washing my mouth out with soap for saying bugger when I was like 6/7 maybe 🤔 so she definitely considered it a swear word 😂

UserWithNoUserName · 21/02/2022 05:12

I think the meaning has been lost and its become a lot milder.

Original poster
Pinkwithwhite · 21/02/2022 07:42

Oh dear... DD is 2 😳. I'm irish, DH the South of England.
Sorry the poll doesn't make sense but 85‰ thinking she shouldn't say it! I shall take that on board.
Thanks for all the comments

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 21/02/2022 07:45

@Earlymorningcuppa

You’re bugging me means your sticking your dick up my arse? I think there are two meanings for the word - like many words.
Bugger and bugging are totally different.

Buggery is anal sex
To bug someone is to annoy them like a bug/fly

bitemyarsenic · 21/02/2022 07:49

@Marynotsocontrary

Buggery is anal rape and a crime.

A few pp have mentioned rape, but the term doesn't imply rape, just anal sex (which was once considered a crime so maybe that's what's causing the confusion?)

In the past being homosexual was a crime, at the time when it was widely used. Its a homophobic slur "You bugger"
bitemyarsenic · 21/02/2022 07:50

Likewise
"You sod " sodomite
My parents use both all the time

MintyGreenDream · 21/02/2022 07:52

Hrtft but I remember getting told off in my teens for saying frigging hell."that means female
masterbation" said my mother

Hb12 · 21/02/2022 07:52

Definitely a swear word in my book!

Earlymorningcuppa · 21/02/2022 08:12

My point was someone who bugs you - is a bugger, it's the same thing...there is more than one meaning, as there is with quite a few words - which is quite clear from the variation in responses.

bugger
noun [ C ]
UK /ˈbʌɡ.ər/ US /ˈbʌɡ.ɚ/
UK offensive
a silly or annoying person:
Well you shouldn't have drunk so much, should you, you daft bugger!
The stupid bugger's given me the wrong ticket!

UK informal
used to or about someone that you feel sympathy for:
The poor bugger has nowhere else to sleep.

US informal
a person or animal, especially a young one that you like very much:
He's a cute little bugger, isn't he?
UK offensive
something that is very difficult or annoying:
This tin is a bugger to open.

WetLookKnitwear · 21/02/2022 08:24

I used to say this a lot but once said it in front of my gay friend who took offence at it (in a very polite way) then I realised it’s a slur so I don’t use it any more.

I know what you mean though it seems like a mild word especially if you don’t know the meaning of it.

Fuckitsstillraining · 21/02/2022 08:28

I wouldn't class it as a swear word, it has more than one meaning.

That bugger isn't a swear word
rarge · 21/02/2022 08:38

@Marynotsocontrary

Buggery is anal rape and a crime.

A few pp have mentioned rape, but the term doesn't imply rape, just anal sex (which was once considered a crime so maybe that's what's causing the confusion?)

All anal sex is rape on here. Lights off missionary is the only acceptable method, and even then, for reproductive purposes (DTD) only.

Georgeskitchen · 21/02/2022 08:53

Yes it'd a swear word but since swearing seems to be deemed acceptable nowadays it doesn't seem to have much impact

Gj63 · 21/02/2022 08:58

Only people who I thought the word was colloquial were antipodeans. Had an Australian colleague who used to use it a lot in front of our not out but I knew he was gay boss. I had to have a quiet word with her. 😂

Dibbydoos · 21/02/2022 09:03

Bugger is the worst word imo because of the meaning.

We've def downplayed this word over time, but it's not mild.

Having said tgat why are we still fixed on notvysing Anglo-Saxon words that the French tried to knock out of us?

Live and let live....

Queenoftheashes · 21/02/2022 09:05

The berk pronunciation presumably changed when it got shortened… not a big deal.

I am southern and my nan was northern and taught me bigger quite early on to the amusement of my parents. I’ve always had a soft spot for it. It’s used commonly as a fairly harmless and funny term of endearment. Does anyone called a literal bugger a bugger anymore?

tabulahrasa · 21/02/2022 09:08

@Earlymorningcuppa

My point was someone who bugs you - is a bugger, it's the same thing...there is more than one meaning, as there is with quite a few words - which is quite clear from the variation in responses.

bugger
noun [ C ]
UK /ˈbʌɡ.ər/ US /ˈbʌɡ.ɚ/
UK offensive
a silly or annoying person:
Well you shouldn't have drunk so much, should you, you daft bugger!
The stupid bugger's given me the wrong ticket!

UK informal
used to or about someone that you feel sympathy for:
The poor bugger has nowhere else to sleep.

US informal
a person or animal, especially a young one that you like very much:
He's a cute little bugger, isn't he?
UK offensive
something that is very difficult or annoying:
This tin is a bugger to open.

Leaving aside the US version - because they do have different words.

All of those are in fact the same meaning, just not used literally. You could swap out fucker in every sentence and it’d make sense, but you’re not literally saying someone has sex nor does it change the meaning of the word.

Comefromaway · 21/02/2022 09:15

Someone who bugs you (in the insect sense) is not a bugger. They are two different words.

Clawdy · 21/02/2022 09:15

My mum and gran used to say " silly bugger" and "sod off" all the time without realising the meaning of the words. But they would have been horrified to hear some one saying "fuck" !

00100001 · 21/02/2022 09:16

Kids shouldn't be saying bugger, bloody hell, sod it etc

Marynotsocontrary · 21/02/2022 09:45

A few pp have mentioned rape, but the term doesn't imply rape, just anal sex (which was once considered a crime so maybe that's what's causing the confusion?)

In the past being homosexual was a crime, at the time when it was widely used.
Its a homophobic slur
"You bugger"

Absolutely agree it was a homophobic slur @rarge, but anal sex was actually illegal for both homosexual and heterosexual couples (though I would think it was almost always the former who were prosecuted). Homosexuality was decriminalised in England and Wales in 1967, while anal sex between heterosexual couples legally remained an offence until 1994.

Arabellla · 21/02/2022 09:45

Yep it's one I used to say but I'm training myself out of it.

deadlanguage · 21/02/2022 09:50

Yes it’s a swear word albeit a slightly milder one (like crap). A 2 year old only uses a few hundred words, that should not be one of them!