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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That bugger isn't a swear word

185 replies

Pinkwithwhite · 20/02/2022 22:37

DD said you cheeky bugger. I have no issues with this husband is really cross about it.
Who's being unreasonable
YABU— Child shouldn't be saying it
YNBU - It's not ok

OP posts:
RubaiyatOfAnyone · 21/02/2022 00:06

Sorry sorry! Berkeley Hunt. Misremembered, had to google.
And yes, i do know that is also pronounced “barkley”, but it’s still the story of where the word berk comes from.

Liveandkicking · 21/02/2022 00:07

@TinaYouFatLard crying with laughter at the “more than an annoyance”

Definitely a swear word and given the meaning (which almost all adults will know) I wouldn’t want my child saying it.

AnnieSnap · 21/02/2022 00:08

@vickyc90

I think it's a north south thing in Newcastle saying nee bugger is heere, is basically saying no one is here! It's also used to say something has gone wrong. Like bugger that knacked man.

In American it's also the word for snot.

Speaking as someone who lives down the road from Newcastle, it’s still a swear word, if a mild one (although bugger it does mean anal rape). Yes it’s used by adults, but not in polite company and not nice at all gor a child to use!
Februarybluee · 21/02/2022 00:08

@ouch12345

I don't know where you're based OP but I think it might be a north/south divide.

I'm north and wouldn't consider it a swear word but DH and PIL are south and think it's really awful.

I'm from the north and I agree.

Also we say bugger off. Does that mean bum sex? 😂🤣 Questioning everything now.

SnowFlo · 21/02/2022 00:15

I grew up in an anti-swearing household, however my grandfather was known for having "sod, bugger" slip out, particularly when driving. I remember when I used the word "bugger" in front of him and got a big telling off!

I do find them to be mild swear words, sort of like "bloody" or "damn".

I don't care if people use them around my child, but I wouldn't want her to use them.

That's generally how we treat swear words though. She knows what the "bad words" are, even though I do often use them when frustrated ("ah, this fucking thing!!" when I've got something stuck and I'm struggling etc.). She will sometimes ignore it or sometimes tell me off and say I shouldn't have said it.

She tells me "so and so at school said a bad word today!" and then she will tell me "the f word" or "it was the sh word" -- I once thought she meant shit, turns out she meant "shut up".

Recently she did ask me if "the b word that granddad says is a bad word" and I asked her what word (sometimes she doesn't want to say cos she thinks I will tell her off so I have to remind her if she's telling me what someone else says it doesn't count). It was "bloody". I said well, it's a bit of a bad word, like "idiot", but it's not a very bad word. I told her she probably shouldn't say it as lots of people don't like it.

Similarly "Jesus Christ" she was saying a lot recently at home. I didn't care. My Catholic partner doesn't like it though, so I've explained to her about God and Jesus and how to some people they are very important, so even though it's not a swear word, she shouldn't use it at school etc.

Whenever my granddad used "sod" i just thought of fish. Some kind of mix between "sole" and "cod".

Wafflesnsniffles · 21/02/2022 00:19

Yup definately a swear word. Not a word I want to hear in my home.

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 21/02/2022 00:21

It’s a very frequent swear word in our house and I’ve heard both kids say it. Doesn’t particularly bother me.

tabulahrasa · 21/02/2022 00:25

“Also we say bugger off. Does that mean bum sex?”

I mean, we say fuck off and its pretty much the same...so...

vickyc90 · 21/02/2022 00:29

@AnnieSnap Sunderland side of the river by any chance Wink we are a bit further south but my dad is toon through and through. It's always interesting what even a few miles around here does to the language! My husband is from Durham and I was born and raised in an old mining town our sons vocabulary is hilarious. I went to uni in Sunderland the slang really comes out when I've had a drink.

Interestingly four wedding and funeral was edited from the F word to bugger for prewatershed viewing.

MaryAndHerNet · 21/02/2022 00:36

You copulate off..

You bum copulate off..

You anal fucker, you can anally sodomy off you buggering bugger faced bugger.

Let's face it, on a scale of 'bad words', bugger is about the same offensive level as 'Tory Voter' in fact, I'd be more offended if someone thought I voted Tory than if they thought I liked taking cocks up my arse.

AnnieSnap · 21/02/2022 00:36

Yes @vickyc90 I’m not suggesting it isn’t commonly used in a friendly way, as it is in Yorkshire and Lancashire, just that the actual meaning in anal intercourse, so not great from the mouth of a child.

MangyInseam · 21/02/2022 00:36

A swear word is a word that a lot of people think is a swear word.

I think bugger counts, though fewer people think of it that way than in the past. But if you say it, some people will think it is swearing.

I'd tell a child that it's not necessarily appropriate. A lot of children misunderstand the connotation and thing it's about "bugging" people, as in bothering them. So they can use it pretty innocently but it comes of as implying more than they realize.

LemonPledge555 · 21/02/2022 00:47

Bluey’s dad says bugger lugs so I’m assuming we’re ok with it now. Not looking forward to bluey obsessed child picking it up though tbh.

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 21/02/2022 00:53

@LemonPledge555

Bluey’s dad says bugger lugs so I’m assuming we’re ok with it now. Not looking forward to bluey obsessed child picking it up though tbh.
In bluey its "Bug a Lugs" that she says. It's an Australian slang term and a brand of dog shampoo.

It's sort of a cheeky affectionate term, I suppose like calling someone a silly sausage.

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 21/02/2022 00:55

Apologies, Bug a Lugs is the dog shampoo. You are right Bugger lugs is the slang term.

Sumtimesiamgreen · 21/02/2022 00:57

I swear a lot too but don’t say that.

HiJenny35 · 21/02/2022 01:04

Horrible word and not one I'd let the kids say or say myself and I'm not offended by swearing but I thinks it's a particularly distasteful word even if it's often used in everyday conversations.

Baileyscheesecake · 21/02/2022 01:09

@Shylo Isn’t it George Melly? Of rum, bum and concertina fame? Or is there a Roger Melly I’ve not heard of? @Pinkwithwhite definitely a swear word your child shouldn’t be saying. My mum used to say it and then change it to oh bother!

MajorCarolDanvers · 21/02/2022 01:10

It's a swear word. I wouldn't want my children using a phrase about anal sex.

Vanellopee · 21/02/2022 01:34

Ofcom class it as a mild swear word.

Personally I’d say it’s moderate.

ChaoticWoman · 21/02/2022 01:46

Bugger doesn't only mean anal sex and where I'm from in north east it's a very common mild slang word and dh has called dd buggerlugs for the last 17 years. The Cambridge dictionary has anal sex as the last meaning among several others.

If I call dh a cheeky bugger I'm not saying his sticking his dick in arses, just like when I say "bloody Nora" I am not saying Nora is covered in blood even thought bloody means that.

I wouldn't get my going child say bloody or bugger because even though they're mild, it's still sort of swearing but I wouldn't be cross and telling my child off either.

That bugger isn't a swear word
ChaoticWoman · 21/02/2022 01:47

Get my going should be "let my young" 🤦🏽‍♀️

DropYourSword · 21/02/2022 01:57

[quote Baileyscheesecake]**@Shylo* Isn’t it George Melly? Of rum, bum and concertina fame? Or is there a Roger Melly I’ve not heard of? @Pinkwithwhite* definitely a swear word your child shouldn’t be saying. My mum used to say it and then change it to oh bother![/quote]
Roger Melly is a character from VIZ. I was going to write an offensive character, but felt it was redundant, because all VUZ characters are!

Marynotsocontrary · 21/02/2022 02:03

Buggery is anal rape and a crime.

A few pp have mentioned rape, but the term doesn't imply rape, just anal sex (which was once considered a crime so maybe that's what's causing the confusion?)

Time2Move · 21/02/2022 02:36

I regard it as very mild. Living in the North now, but grew up in London and can't say I've noticed a regional difference in how the word is used... maybe it's got more to do with the circles in which you move than your geographical region?
In general I don't think the meaning of a swear word has much bearing on how 'bad' it is. For example, I might refer to someone as a cock, a prick, a knob or a dick, but I don't use these words interchangeably just because they all 'mean' the same, and some I regard as stronger than others.