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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That bugger isn't a swear word

185 replies

Pinkwithwhite · 20/02/2022 22:37

DD said you cheeky bugger. I have no issues with this husband is really cross about it.
Who's being unreasonable
YABU— Child shouldn't be saying it
YNBU - It's not ok

OP posts:
Babadook76 · 20/02/2022 22:56

Isn’t buggery anal rape? I wouldn’t allow my kids to say it

5foot5 · 20/02/2022 22:57

@AssignedBlobbyAtBirth

I find the acceptance of it funny too. I've heard people, who would be horrified at anyone saying fuck, come out with 'well bugger me' Grin
I think though that there is a bit of a North /South divide over this word. When I was a child I heard it used as a very mild swear word (not that I would ever have been allowed to say any swear words, not even bloody.) in some cases it was almost used as a term of affection - "He's a daft old bugger, isn't he?"

I was at University before I realised it had any actual meaning and was astonished that Southern friends considered it a really strong word.

My parents would use the word occasionally, even my Mum who didn't really approve of bad language. However they would both be really shocked and offended if anyone said fuck

ouch12345 · 20/02/2022 22:57

I don't know where you're based OP but I think it might be a north/south divide.

I'm north and wouldn't consider it a swear word but DH and PIL are south and think it's really awful.

K4fkaesque · 20/02/2022 22:59

I won't be able to link to it, but search YouTube for a NZ Hilux advert where the word bugger features multiple times.

Googling "Hilux Bugger" should get you there.

gogohm · 20/02/2022 22:59

Depends where you are from. It's used a lot more freely in the midlands and north, whereas in London it was proper swearing when I was growing up

Marynotsocontrary · 20/02/2022 23:01

@Earlymorningcuppa

You’re bugging me means your sticking your dick up my arse? I think there are two meanings for the word - like many words.
No, bugging has a different meaning (or two).
squishyegg · 20/02/2022 23:01

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

Is it mild? A cock up the arse isn't mild in my book.
Hahahahah
DiddyHeck · 20/02/2022 23:03

@MaryAndHerNet

My daughter at about 7 said, "Well that's that bollocksed then" when she broke her Lego model. I laughed. But I did tell her to be careful as some fuckwits get up their arses over swearing.
Like teachers for example? Confused
TinaYouFatLard · 20/02/2022 23:04

@Earlymorningcuppa

You’re bugging me means your sticking your dick up my arse? I think there are two meanings for the word - like many words.
You’re bugging me means you’re annoying me.

You’re buggering me is more than an annoyance.

slimshady18 · 20/02/2022 23:04

@Seafog

Does you child using the word know what it means?
What a stupid question. Of course the child doesn't know what it means, of else they most likely would definitely not be saying it around their parents if they know their dad is so against such a mild swear word.
DropYourSword · 20/02/2022 23:07

I disagree with your options because it is a swear word, but pretty mild and it wouldn't bother me if a child said it (depending on context I suppose!).

You cheeky bugger - fun teasing.
Bugger off - less acceptable!

NinaDefoe · 20/02/2022 23:08

bugger
/ˈbʌɡə/
noun
1.
VULGAR SLANG•BRITISH
used as a term of abuse, typically for a man.
2.
a person who penetrates the anus of someone during sexual intercourse.

Thefaceofboe · 20/02/2022 23:08

*I don't know where you're based OP but I think it might be a north/south divide.

I'm north and wouldn't consider it a swear word but DH and PIL are south and think it's really awful*

Agree with this. I’m northern and don’t consider it a swear word

WonderfulYou · 20/02/2022 23:08

I wouldn’t say it’s classed as swearing as such (just like bitch isn’t a swear word but is now used as one) however depending on the age of the child I wouldn’t want them saying it.

I wouldn’t punish them though as I’m sure loads of people say it in everyday language.

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 20/02/2022 23:10

@Earlymorningcuppa

You’re bugging me means your sticking your dick up my arse? I think there are two meanings for the word - like many words.
No, bugging is to annoy. Buggering is to have anal sex with someone.

I would tell my child off for saying it, if I wouldn't accept them saying "ah fuck" I wouldn't accept them saying ",oh bugger"

RosesAndHellebores · 20/02/2022 23:10

When ds was 6ish he thought swear words were funny ha ha. DH sat him down with the dictionary and made him learn to spell them and learn what they meant - on the basis that one should know the meaning of words. He drew the line at Bugger.

Told ds off for saying the f word when he was about 11 and he just looked at me quizzically " oh mummy don't be silly, it's only Anglo Saxon for copulation".

Mistressiggi · 20/02/2022 23:11

In meaning, how is it different to a word like, say, fucker?

NinaDefoe · 20/02/2022 23:12

Agree - bugging is a completely different word!

NinaDefoe · 20/02/2022 23:12

@Mistressiggi

In meaning, how is it different to a word like, say, fucker?
It’s the same
user1473878824 · 20/02/2022 23:12

“The meaning is obsolete if nobody knows what it means. Who cares...”

People do know what it means?

NinaDefoe · 20/02/2022 23:16

You cheeky bugger
You cheeky fucker

I think the problem is that people don’t know what the word means

ForensicFlossy · 20/02/2022 23:16

Definitely depends on what part of the country you are from. I'm Midlands and it's a mild swear word.

8misskitty8 · 20/02/2022 23:16

Lizzie in prisoner cell block H used to say it frequently. ‘Bugger me gently’ was one of her phrases. There is a YouTube video with her saying it various times and ways spliced together.

It is a swear word.

NinaDefoe · 20/02/2022 23:16

and so use it thinking it’s inoffensive.

NinaDefoe · 20/02/2022 23:18

@ForensicFlossy

Definitely depends on what part of the country you are from. I'm Midlands and it's a mild swear word.
There was a thread recently about the word ‘Cunt’ - not offensive at all in some parts of the country it seems...Definitely is where I am.