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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Husband kicked dog

326 replies

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 09:26

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

OP posts:
Chely · 20/02/2022 11:50

Not acceptable behaviour at all.
Train the dog better, our dog has food allergies so we had to train her to leave and even drop food after picking it up.

gamerchick · 20/02/2022 11:51

@Chickencuddle

The only reason I mentioned him being vegan is because the other poster was comparing it to eating meat etc. So I was letting her know that he actually is vegan... So nothing ti do with eating meat etc... I was in no way excusing his actions. Or defending him.
And yet you're still there. Both of you carefully putting together your kids future mental health problems.

When are you actually going to act and get rid of this speciman?

Toanewstart23 · 20/02/2022 11:51

* I want to get out of this relationship as husband sexually abuses me by previously forcing me to have sex many different times and then recently touching me when I'm asleep. *
Does things I dont like and have explained I dont like. Such as grabbing my fat on my stomach.
Trying to be sexual around the children. Not in full view but nearby.

What the OP wrote 18 months ago on a thread she started about needing to go to a Refuge because of abuse by her husband

WouldIwasShookspeared · 20/02/2022 11:51

I just can't picture how you kick food away from a dog. Who wants food that's been kicked across the floor?
Was it the dog's food?
I kicked the food away from the dog does not make sense and I doubt that's what happened.

Cavagirl · 20/02/2022 11:52

Oh chicken Sad
So sorry to see you're still with him.

What we're you hoping to get from this post? Is it reassurance that his explanation isn't reasonable?

It's not reasonable. He is abusive towards this animal, just like he's abusive towards you and the kids. Trust your instincts - you have good instincts! You knew it wasn't right to kick the dog no matter how much he makes up crap to justify it. Just like all the other awful things he does. None of them are justifiable and deep down you know it, you just don't trust yourself because you're so used to accepting his version of events and squashing down your inner voice telling you it's not right.

You need to trust your inner voice telling you this isn't right and get yourself out again. You can do it.

Gilead · 20/02/2022 11:52

I wasn’t going to reply to this, thinking you’d probably had enough advice op, but I noted he’s gaslighting you too. The only person I’ve ever known kick a dog was my ex. I was next in line.
I have had dogs for years, I have NEVER known anyone kick their dog to discipline them.

Katya213 · 20/02/2022 11:52

That would be divorce for me.

CremeEggThief · 20/02/2022 11:53

I hope you kicked him for this!Angry

Cantleave · 20/02/2022 11:53

Kicking a defenceless animal would be the end of the relationship for me.

lockdownalli · 20/02/2022 11:54

Jesus Christ OP - what is keeping you with this piece of shit?

What is more precious to you than protecting your children and your dog and yourself from him?

Toanewstart23 · 20/02/2022 11:57

Please read my post

The OP herself is being abused by this man as per a previous thread she started 18 months ago

MondayYogurt · 20/02/2022 11:57

Being vegan doesn't make you a decent person

I'd go further and ask if he uses his veganism as a way to manipulate and control you. Do you have to cook him special food? Does he gain power by insisting he alone is good and pure? Some abusers can turn altruism into control very easily.

fromdownwest · 20/02/2022 12:04

Kick the sick bastard 3 times and leave the man.

Able to do this to a defenceless animal, he will do it to a human.

Scum

QueenSue · 20/02/2022 12:05

OP you have posted that he is sexually abusive as well. You know that it would be best to leave him for you and your children's sake, and now also your dog.

Rubyupbeat · 20/02/2022 12:06

Hes an evil bastard bully.

ugifletzet · 20/02/2022 12:07

So much love to you, OP. I was in an abusive relationship myself and my poor friends got so frustrated trying to get me to see sense. I can understand why you're struggling to leave. But even if you're not at a point where you can leave, you owe it to yourself, your child, and your dog to be honest with yourself.

Look at the behaviour pattern here. He does something awful and abusive, like sexual assault. You post on here for advice. You end up letting the abuse pass. Then you come back with another thread that doesn't even reference the previous abuse, as though all these incidents are separate. If other posters point out that they are all linked, and he isn't changing, you'll say something like, "But he's been great with me lately."

The obvious fact is that he can't be great, because he keeps doing these things. You're blocking them all out. I can see you doing it in this thread, e.g. by mentioning your partner's veganism as though it's relevant. You're focusing on any and every detail in order to avoid the things that matter: he's physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive.

You also need to consider the impact of this on your kids, especially your daughter. How are you going to feel when she grows up to believe her dad's treatment of you is normal? That this is the standard she should accept in a relationship? How will you feel when she's left with mental health problems to resolve later in her own life because her dad was abusive and her mum prioritised keeping the relationship over protecting her? I know it sounds harsh, but this is a reality you can't afford to ignore. If you're not ready to leave, acknowledge that, and make sure you're getting support from Women's Aid. But don't keep trying to convince yourself that things will get better with him, because that's unfair to both you and your kids.

Babyroobs · 20/02/2022 12:07

Awful. I have sort of pushed our dog away as a kneejerk reaction before but to deliberately kick is terrible.

Mumof3confused · 20/02/2022 12:09

Do you have children?

Totalwasteofpaper · 20/02/2022 12:10

A vegan rapist who beats dogs what a Prince amongst men

And you think it's you overreacting / with the problem????

The only problem you have is your utter bastard of a husband.

Toanewstart23 · 20/02/2022 12:11

Yes the OP has children Sad
2 years ago she started a thread about the abuse she and her children were getting from this man
And it would seem she’s still with him

RantyAunty · 20/02/2022 12:12

You know you're with an abusive bastard.

How long are you planning to stay with him?

Totalwasteofpaper · 20/02/2022 12:13

@Mumof3confused

Do you have children?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4109928-To-be-scared-of-a-refuge
Mellowyellow222 · 20/02/2022 12:13

It is so sad that people stay in abusive relationships and expose their children to a miserable childhood.

OP leave this man. Take the children. Take the dog. Out their happiness first

Sosigsandwich · 20/02/2022 12:14

He sounds absolutely vile and I would be reconsidered my relationship

GeneLovesJezebel · 20/02/2022 12:14

Poor dog.

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