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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Husband kicked dog

326 replies

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 09:26

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

OP posts:
Barney60 · 20/02/2022 11:20

He kicked a harmless animal! Id be kicking him out the door. i couldnt be around anyone that can hurt an animal.

Regularsizedrudy · 20/02/2022 11:22

You have posted about your husband and his disgusting abusive behaviour multiple times. What do you want from these threads if you’re never going to leave him?

JakeyRolling · 20/02/2022 11:22

Oh well done your husband! He's just made the dog more likely to bite by instilling fear when something is taken from him 🙄

BearOfEasttown · 20/02/2022 11:22

Fuck me! Shock THAT is definitely a marriage-ender.

What a cunt. Hmm

Gonnagetgoing · 20/02/2022 11:23

@newbiename

You're always on here detailing this 'mans' abuse. Numerous threads , hundreds of people have told you to leave him. Now it's the dog. He's just an arsehole, but you're still there. I don't know what else you want people to say?
@newbiename - that’s disgusting if OP is on here.

OP - let me give you an example. My aunt was married for years to an abusive man. He alienated her from her family and as far as we know only physically abused their animals and maybe kids.

Years later she’s finally divorced but both he adult kids are traumatised and she’s living semi in hiding from him and police on alert, I’m not even lying there.

This man won’t change, you won’t change him and he’s a sick fucker. Pm me if you’d like to chat and take care if you’re reading Flowers.

I can’t tell more details about uncle here as potentially outing.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 20/02/2022 11:23

Last summer on an UK holiday a lady was in the public loos. Her dh/dp was waiting for her with a ddog. He booted it. Was ankle height.. I told her when she came out. Utter twat. Hope she Ltb.
Many years ago my now exh's mate punched my ddog in the face. Ddog was never the same. 10 years of fearful aggression she had. Even a trainer refused to deal with her. Ime doesn't take much to 'ruin' a wonderful animal.
Sad

Gonnagetgoing · 20/02/2022 11:25

@Regularsizedrudy

You have posted about your husband and his disgusting abusive behaviour multiple times. What do you want from these threads if you’re never going to leave him?
@Regularsizedrudy if Op I’d anything like my aunt she’s being abused by a narcissist and abuser, it took her 20 plus years to see the light and her kids were teenagers before she left him.

It really isn’t as clear cut if you’re with an abuser Sad.

LolaLuffnagal · 20/02/2022 11:27

My dog bit me on the hand once. She was being attacked by another dog and in a panic I tried to pick her up and save her. She obviously got confused and was scared and clamped down on my hand, drawing quite a bit of blood. I had to go to A and E and get a tetanus shot, and there is a permanent scar on my left hand.

Not once did I think of fucking hurting her. Your dh is a horrible bastard, it's his own fault he was bitten anyway. And if there's not even a mark left the dog obviously just mouthed him rather that bit him.

Cruel, selfish cunt, he'd be out on his arse if that were me. Can't stand abusers.

EmpressSuiko · 20/02/2022 11:28

My family have owned dogs for my entire life, none of us have EVER kicked one of the dogs.

I don’t even tap them on the bum, it doesn’t teach them anything, if they are misbehaving we make a loud sharp “AH” and give them a command.
He is making excuses for his appalling behaviour, I don’t think I could look past this.

Bambi7 · 20/02/2022 11:31

Take the dog to the vet. This will also make him realise what he has done is serious (if he doesn't know already). Has he should any remorse?

Three kicks is worrying. I would have gone absolutely mental.

He sounds like a bully.

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2022 11:33

@Chickencuddle

He is actually vegan and very into animal rights etc
You're not listening...

Being vegan doesn't make you a decent person

Jackieweaverishere · 20/02/2022 11:35

I've read your previous threads from 2020, it's shocking what you've been through. I don't know what to say to you - your H is abusive, I hope you find the support to leave him, you and your children deserve much better.

Ripasso · 20/02/2022 11:36

Please leave this vile individual before he starts disciplining the children the same way. If you cannot take your dog away then rehome. You, the children and the dog all deserve much better than living with an abuser. An ex of mine had lived in a violent situation as a child and he was haunted by the abuse pets and family suffered years later.

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2022 11:36

@Chickencuddle

I would have intervened but I was across the room and it happened so fast probably 3 seconds in total. I did shout his name and shouted don't.
Oh well, that clearly worked...

Look, it's clear you are ground down and can't see the wood for the trees.

But you need to leave him for the children's sake, the dog's sake and your sake.

And if you can't yet, or won't, rehome the dog. He did it in front of you, What does he do when you're not there?

Inastatus · 20/02/2022 11:36

He is a complete arsehole! Poor dog 🙁

Jvg33 · 20/02/2022 11:37

I would be calling him a violent pri**k for the next two weeks at all opportunities. You have a responsibility to protect this animal

EmpressSuiko · 20/02/2022 11:38

OP having read your previous posts I just wanted to say I’ve been in an abusive relationship, luckily I didn’t have children which made it easier to leave but I do think you need to try and see this from s different perspective. Would you be happy if your child grew up and was in a relationship similar to your own? There’s s lot of problems and they all seem to stem from your husbands behaviour, it’s not ok and not fair to keep your children in this environment especially now he has hurt your dog and clearly shows no remorse.
Obviously none of us can make you do anything but we can try to advise you and I really think you need to start making plans to leave.

WutheringHeights66 · 20/02/2022 11:38

Agree with others, this is never ok. I have never had a dog but my instinct would be to scold the dog and send him to his basket.

I do have cats though and when one of those has been aggressive they get hissed at and moved out of the room, so effectively the same thing.

Kind of like sending a naughty child to timeout.

He's a twat and an evil one at that.

WonderfulYou · 20/02/2022 11:40

What’s so scary is he thought he could kick the dog (whether reactive or not) and the dog would cower and submit to him.

The dog felt pain so reactively bit out (as we all would) and your DH couldn’t deal with that.

So he sought out the dog to get the final kick in just so he can feel powerful.

This is scary because of what it represents - I can guarantee you that if you ever did something he didn’t like, he wouldn’t think twice about putting you back in your place by any means necessary.

KarmaStar · 20/02/2022 11:43

He would be exdh if he kicked any animal.😠
Yanbu.!

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 11:43

The only reason I mentioned him being vegan is because the other poster was comparing it to eating meat etc. So I was letting her know that he actually is vegan... So nothing ti do with eating meat etc... I was in no way excusing his actions. Or defending him.

OP posts:
PortalooSunset · 20/02/2022 11:46

He went back because he missed the dog the first time?! I rarely use this word, but he's a cunt.

How dies he treat you and your dc if he perceives you've wronged him?

PortalooSunset · 20/02/2022 11:46

Does Hmm

SurferRona · 20/02/2022 11:47

@Chickencuddle

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.
So this is now disabused theory. He can’t be into animal rights or he’d understand more about animals and how to respond and treat them. Stop excusing him. He’s a nasty bullying piece of shit, who picks on the vulnerable creature who can’t fight back. You need to defend your dog against him.

As other PPs have said, and based on your previous posting history, you need to go, scoop up DD and go.

Or get dog to a rescue for rehoming at least, don’t leave doggo exposed to this abusive piece of shit, even if it’s what you choose for yourself.

How often will you carry on posting about him? At what point will you actually do something about it?

WouldIwasShookspeared · 20/02/2022 11:50

The dog probably only bit in the first place because he thought your bastard of a husband was trying to kick him. Your husband kicked out. Kicking food away from the dog... So the food was on the floor? how would the dog know food on the floor was not his? Or was he actually kicking the dog away from the food?

The dog bit as a fear response to having a kick aimed at/near him.

Your husband then went after the dog to try to kick him three times.

That is animal abuse and there are no excuses. As for I went to kick the dog again because I missed the first time. W.T.F.? Seriously?

Your husband is disgusting.