Baby /toddler sessions run by a man

[SleepingStandingUp]

If you were looking for paid sessions for baby / toddler would it put you off if the person leading it was a man? Would your baby's age make any difference? Talking to a male friend about career options but we were undecided if it would be doable.

Yabu - no one would go
Yanbu - of course people would go

@Comedycook

Being in a room with an unknown man having to converse with them might be too much

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic but if a woman couldn't be in a room and converse with a man she didn't know amongst other people then she really needs to get help. I mean if that was your situation, how could you go into a shop, a cafe, an office, a doctor's surgery, your DC's school, a party...the list is endless.

Or how did they end up with a baby to begin with?

One of the best holiday clubs ds attended was run by a man.

Baby Toddler group fine. One for mothers I'd be a bit unsure.

Or how did they end up with a baby to begin with?

This😫

I do not know how some people managed to get pregnant at all. They may have acquired their husbands gametes and banished him to the shed til the children are 18.

Like genuinely, if you're that afraid of men that you can't sit in a baby group, how can you trust their father?

Honestly, depends on the age the classes are aimed at. Definitely not in the 0-3, possibly even 0-6months post birth. I was honestly the most vulnerable post birth I have ever been in my life and no matter how lovely I don’t think anyone but another mother (not even a female but specifically a mother) could understand the cocktail of emotions and experiences that come into play at that time.
After that time I would welcome some diversity in this scene.
But my experience is personal and am sure there are mums out there that would feel differently.
I think new dads are quite neglected by these kinds of services as well so a dad and baby class might be something to explore if you get little uptake with women?

I wonder how all those who feel so judgemental about a man working with children treat their sons?

Do they tell them they can’t do things just because they are a boy? Treat them like they are wrong for wanting to play with a doll or whatever?

Well I doubt they are having babies with people at baby groups or men in shops. More likely one long term partner who they have developed trust in over a long period of time. It's not the same sitting in a waiting room near a man you don't have to make eye contact with or handing over a note to in a shop as it is in a close contact sociable environment like a baby group however I can't be bothered argue so I'll just say I'm wrong and it absolutely won't put anyone if it is a man running the group and leave it there

I have to admit I'd be more inclined to attend a toddler group run by a man. If they're good at what they do. And it's a different dynamic and relationship for my kids.

In my experience of men in early years settings leading- (rhyme time, gymnastics and nursery teacher), they're excellent. I think men in these settings usually are, as they need a particular passion, talent and enthusiasm to go into this area against the common trend of women.

@Sirzy

I wonder how all those who feel so judgemental about a man working with children treat their sons?

Do they tell them they can’t do things just because they are a boy? Treat them like they are wrong for wanting to play with a doll or whatever?

No I don't stop my sons playing with dolls what does that have to do with men seeking contact with children? My sons will be taught to respect people, respect the need for female spaces and respect that sadly not everyone feels they can trust men with their kids.

“Men seeking contact with children” - do you not see what a message even things like that send about men? What does that teach your sons.

Men can look after children. They can care for children. Not all men are a threat and to treat them like they are is awful and is feeding stereotypes.

I am all for female spaces but we aren’t talking about female spaces here. We are talking about groups for young children and their parents

@Comedycook

Being in a room with an unknown man having to converse with them might be too much

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic but if a woman couldn't be in a room and converse with a man she didn't know amongst other people then she really needs to get help. I mean if that was your situation, how could you go into a shop, a cafe, an office, a doctor's surgery, your DC's school, a party...the list is endless.

I mean, I wouldn't usually be talking to random men in shops and cafes about my leaking boobs or vaginal bleeding or weird post-birth emotions either.

Baby groups tend to attract that kind of talk because the women there have just given birth and are looking for support and solidarity. My baby massage group had a lot of that kind of talk because your life is all consumed with it at that point. The one time a dad came along, nobody talked much and some women were noticeably less comfortable.

I mean, I wouldn't usually be talking to random men in shops and cafes about my leaking boobs or vaginal bleeding or weird post-birth emotions either.

Baby and toddler classes are completely different to support groups for mums.

I've never heard anyone talking about their vagina at Gymboree or music class or baby swim regardless of the gender of the group leader.

@Crimesean

1-2% of men are paedophiles in the general population. Now, we know that paedophiles will actively seek out roles where they have access to potential victims (priests, medical staff, childcare providers, schools etc.) so we can expect that percentage to be higher amongst individuals who work in those sectors.

I would therefore always be more cautious of a male in such circumstances, even though most male nannies/nurses/priests etc. are harmless. It's natural to calculate risk and attempt to mitigate it (by, for example, choosing a female nanny).

I'd be absolutely fine with a toddler group run by a man, particularly one who had his own child - parents are aren't leaving their children unattended anyway so the risk is miniscule.

Source please. Sounds like utter nonsense to me but I don’t particularly want to Google this one.

@NuffSaidSam

I mean, I wouldn't usually be talking to random men in shops and cafes about my leaking boobs or vaginal bleeding or weird post-birth emotions either.

Baby and toddler classes are completely different to support groups for mums.

I've never heard anyone talking about their vagina at Gymboree or music class or baby swim regardless of the gender of the group leader.

There is some overlap though. Baby massage isn't a support group for mums but because we were all sat in a circle doing something intimate with our babies, that's what it naturally gravitated towards. And sometimes women need that because they might not feel they need to specifically seek out a support group, but having that unofficial support is really helpful. Same for any class where young babies are taken (I'm talking like, 0-4 months here, too early for swimming and stuff). After that age I think it's perfectly fine for men to run baby/toddler classes, but leading a group where your target audience is primarily women who have given birth in the last couple of months, might not be the easiest thing to run as a man.

Seeking contact with children, @SlashBeef?

Bloody hell. Do you think the same of you sons then, if they said hi to a child at the park they're 'seeking contact with children' too? Odd mindset.

@SleepingStandingUp

If you were looking for paid sessions for baby / toddler would it put you off if the person leading it was a man? Would your baby's age make any difference? Talking to a male friend about career options but we were undecided if it would be doable.

Yabu - no one would go
Yanbu - of course people would go

The kind of idiot who wouldn't go is the kind of ignorant loon you wouldn't want there anyway. The same kind of knuckle dragger who "reports" every bloke they ever see anywhere near a school or in a park.

Good luck to your friend! (And you)

@Crimesean

1-2% of men are paedophiles in the general population. Now, we know that paedophiles will actively seek out roles where they have access to potential victims (priests, medical staff, childcare providers, schools etc.) so we can expect that percentage to be higher amongst individuals who work in those sectors.

I would therefore always be more cautious of a male in such circumstances, even though most male nannies/nurses/priests etc. are harmless. It's natural to calculate risk and attempt to mitigate it (by, for example, choosing a female nanny).

I'd be absolutely fine with a toddler group run by a man, particularly one who had his own child - parents are aren't leaving their children unattended anyway so the risk is miniscule.

You missed the bit about 97% of child sexual abuse coming from a male relative of the child in question. Do you make sure your kid doesn't sit on Grandad's knee or are you only bothered about the 3% you don't know personally?

Why would someone be put off by this? I've never had a baby/toddler class led by a man but it wouldn't put me off at all.

Also I'm sure female paedophiles exist!

@Cheesechips

Why would someone be put off by this? I've never had a baby/toddler class led by a man but it wouldn't put me off at all.

Don't you understand that your feelings and experiences aren't the only ones there are though?

Liveforsummer yes I understand that but I'm entitled to my opinion as asked by OP and allowed to question others.

Yes it's fine to say you wouldn't mind - now there would I, but can you really not imagine why others might?

@liveforsummer

Yes it's fine to say you wouldn't mind - now there would I, but can you really not imagine why others might?

You're obviously frustrated by other comments but I'm not going to get into an argument with you.

I think I most cases it would be completely fine. Some of my DS's favourite nursery workers have been male, and they have been great. I think for newborn or young baby groups there is more of a breastfeeding/mums support element, that people would be less comfortable sharing with an unknown man.

@CaptainMerica

I think I most cases it would be completely fine. Some of my DS's favourite nursery workers have been male, and they have been great. I think for newborn or young baby groups there is more of a breastfeeding/mums support element, that people would be less comfortable sharing with an unknown man.

Seems like this one is more of a baby centred activity. Regardless, no man with any Semele of social awareness of going to ask about details of breastfeeding etc. You'd presumably just do normal small talk if you encountered a man there and save it for one of the women if you want support in that area