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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do most Teenagers do drugs?

403 replies

Oslosunshine · 17/02/2022 13:00

DD is 17. She was at a party last night and I got a call from her as it got shut down by the police. One of the girls at the party was taken to hospital in an ambulance after an overdose. Today I had a chat with the mum of the boy who’s party it was and she was, to be expected, incredibly frustrated as she had to fly back to deal with the fallout. Thankfully the police were only really fussed about the noise after the neighbours complained and nothing is being taken further.

However, this prompted me to speak to my DD about why drugs should be avoided and about being sensible etc. DD got very defensive and told me that everyone does drugs, ‘MDMA is safer than alcohol’ and lots more to that extent.

I was incredibly shocked- I know DD smokes (both cigarettes and weed) and whilst I would prefer her to stop, she’s 17 and like most of my peers, I did the same at her age. However, I knew absolutely nothing of the hard drugs and how common they are with her friends.

DH is also worried but sees it as an almost given. He went to a similar school in London to hers and was in a similar ‘scene’ when he was younger and confirms that it is very much the norm.

Mum of the party boy agreed that coke, ketamine, MDMA are all very normalised with their peers and thinks the best course of action is to educate them on dosages, rather than pleading with them to stop.

I feel so naive; I feel as if I have failed my daughter by bringing her up in this privileged inner city London environment where most of the DC have the money for these expensive drugs. But DH thinks it’s not our fault and that this happens everywhere. It certainly didn’t happen on this scale when I was growing up in a less privileged, more suburban area.

Is this normal for teenagers everywhere/ was I just incredibly sheltered growing up?

OP posts:
downtonabbeyfan1234 · 19/02/2022 16:17

Many young people (and uni students) die from drug ODs. At uni if you over drink one night you throw up. Take too many pills or a pill that is too strong you die. Also MDMA you die from drinking too much water.

Sometimes I wonder if being a 'strict' parent is better (to stop teens using drugs). Don't want to delve into stereotypes but we've heard of 'asian parenting' haven't we? Do those kids take drugs?

I know some parents don't want their kids even moving out to go to uni (which I disagree with).

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 16:22

Do those kids take drugs?

Yes, and drink.

BonnieBlue88 · 19/02/2022 16:47

I never did drugs, and none of my friends did.

It's disturbing to read that so many people on this thread did drugs.😕

downtonabbeyfan1234 · 19/02/2022 16:50

@RampantIvy do they really?

@BonnieBlue88 I agree

BonnieBlue88 · 19/02/2022 16:52

I’m an adult and I would never admit taking drugs to my parents. They wouldn’t want to disappoint you.

I see it's hard for some people to believe that there are people who just don't do drugs, and not just lie about it because they don't want to disappoint their parents 😅

Oblomov22 · 19/02/2022 17:04

I think the availability of drugs in secondary schools is easy. If you want it. The schools here are very good, but it's easily accessible if a teenager / college / A'level student wanted to get hold of it. My 2 aren't interested, but they know they could easily get it if they wanted.

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 17:06

@RampantIvy do they really?

Most of them don't, but DD has a few Asian friends at university, and yes, they do. Just weed as far as I know, but quite possibly other stuff.

FailureToLurk · 19/02/2022 17:06

I'm in my early 30's, myself and none of my immediate peer group did drugs.

We got absolutely trashed on cheap cider and cheap vodka in the park and smoked cigarettes but after an evening of vomiting our guts up and feeling fragile the next day that's about as bad as it got.

I'm now an adult and the most "out there" thing I've done is smoke weed in Amsterdam on a hen do 🤣

Get this though I now work in drug and rehabilitation, I know what "hard drugs do" and I also know that about 25% of my clients being substituted for heroine and crack, with methadone and subutex, were heavy party drug users and only used recreational drugs before searching for the next bigger hit.

MDMA is a dirty drug, it's not safer than alcohol. Buy a batch from the wrong dealer and you are fucking mangled. A bad coke habit can spiral quickly, pills again wrong strength you are fucked.

People think the only pathway crack cocaine and heroine are homeless and sex workers, nope.. recreational party drug usage is most definitely a pathway to IV drug usage.

StScholastica · 19/02/2022 17:06

DS lives in a uni house of 11 students. He is the only one not to take drugs. He is an athlete and training to be a nurse. He says pretty much every white British kid he knows does drugs, but it seems to be much less common amongst his Muslim, East Asian and black friends.

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 17:09

I see it's hard for some people to believe that there are people who just don't do drugs, and not just lie about it because they don't want to disappoint their parents

I agree. I tried weed, just once, but have never tried anything else. I know DD tried it in a hash brownie in Amsterdam, but it just gave her diarrhoea.

I am not 100% certain that she hasn't tried any other drugs, but I know her views on them, and people who take them so I would say I am 99.99% certain.

I would say that a lot of teenagers take drugs, but I wouldn't say most.

FailureToLurk · 19/02/2022 17:13

I'm just gonna traumatise DS at about 14/15 by letting him watch trainspotting. I'm also going to start telling him my daily sights and sounds.

Open infected wounds from injecting sites that smell like nothing I've ever smelt before. I'm going to tell him the horror stories of dealers cutting mdma and coke with rat poison, baby talc, paracetamol and chaulk. I'm going to tell him how it can only take one wrong dose/pill to OD. I'm going to tell him about the bodies I have found in flats from OD's and how they were found, how many days they were left there because their drug taking peer group didn't really care about them.

Yeah I ain't going in soft on this. Child is going to be petrified of drugs and I don't care.

solbunny · 19/02/2022 17:15

I'm 24 so it's not a million years since I was a teenager. I went to a semi-rural school with a mix of class/backgrounds, and I'd say only a small amount of my year group had done any drugs by the age of 18. Definitely less than 10%. A few more dabbled at uni but not the majority by any means. During school, it entirely depended on the friend group you were in. People who weren't in the "druggie" friend group generally just didn't have any interest.

Underage drinking at house parties on the other hand was basically universal.

solbunny · 19/02/2022 17:18

Oh and I'd add that I went to a uni that has a reputation of having rich students doing lots of drugs, and I still didn't really encounter it in my circle. I didn't intentionally find a crowd of people who didn't do drugs haha but I guess likeminded people just gravitate to each other, but there were definitely friend groups on my course for example who did lots of drugs (often the ones from very wealthy backgrounds). I'd still say the majority of people I met at uni didn't do drugs, though.

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 17:18

You have pretty much described DD's school @solbunny. None of her friends did drugs, but yes, underage drinking happened.

velvet24 · 19/02/2022 17:31

I smoked weed at uni and told my parents I didn't do anything, probably better to smoke weed than drink heavily, alcohol has far worse effects.

Indoctro · 19/02/2022 17:32

I grew up on a RAF base in quite rural Scotland. Small town school , with a strict mum and dad who would swear there kids didn't ever do drugs. Pretty much all the kids on the raf base did along with a lot of the local town school. That's was in the 1990's.

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 17:34

I think the weed you get these days is much stronger than when you were at university @velvet24.

velvet24 · 19/02/2022 17:35

I dont think so at all i don't really mind weed now and again, its drinking I worry about far more !

downtonabbeyfan1234 · 19/02/2022 17:42

@StScholastica are the other parents doing the right thing would you say?

@velvet24 I believe weed is safe as long as you only use it occasionally. Too much as it causes psychosis.

Now I've been wondering something. What's teen drug/weed/alcohol use like in the states? I know now that you need to be 21 to buy tobacco, weed. And it's been 21 for booze for a few decades.

CovidCorvid · 19/02/2022 17:52

I really don’t think it’s normal. Dd certainly drank underage (doesn’t drink at all now) but says she’s never taken drugs and has always been very anti drugs/scared of them.

Is mdma the best of a bad bunch? I was terrified by the Leah Betts story when I was at uni and wouldn’t touch it. I don’t know a single person who’s tried coke but accept I lead a sheltered life.

HappySonHappyMum · 19/02/2022 18:00

I live in Greater London. Round here the selective school with the paying parents is the one with the drug and alcohol problem. It's full of teens with affluent parents who can afford to take drugs and drink lots. They all seem to have parents who are busy earning the money to pay the school fees and have no time for their kids. It's the culture of the place - you'd have to pay me to send my kids their!

Blueberry40 · 19/02/2022 18:11

Yes it was very much the norm in the nineties when I was your dd’s age and I see the same sort of things going on amongst my 2 children who are now teens and all their friends. I don’t think every single teenager takes drugs on a regular basis but the majority do try things out of curiosity and many do take them more frequently.

I imagine that any teenager with a social life will have been exposed to drugs at some point- it’s a case of making sure they’re very well informed and aware of websites such as Frank where they can ask questions and educate themselves about drugs. They have to feel strong enough to make sensible choices based on facts and not misinformation from peers.

MondayYogurt · 19/02/2022 18:35

So what's the safe dosage of fentanyl for a teen?

AuntyBumBum · 19/02/2022 18:38

@MondayYogurt

So what's the safe dosage of fentanyl for a teen?
Very low, it's much stronger than heroin/morphine. Opiates as recreational drugs are not a good idea for anyone.
downtonabbeyfan1234 · 19/02/2022 18:39

@Blueberry40 the sensible choice is to not do drugs :/

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