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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do most Teenagers do drugs?

403 replies

Oslosunshine · 17/02/2022 13:00

DD is 17. She was at a party last night and I got a call from her as it got shut down by the police. One of the girls at the party was taken to hospital in an ambulance after an overdose. Today I had a chat with the mum of the boy who’s party it was and she was, to be expected, incredibly frustrated as she had to fly back to deal with the fallout. Thankfully the police were only really fussed about the noise after the neighbours complained and nothing is being taken further.

However, this prompted me to speak to my DD about why drugs should be avoided and about being sensible etc. DD got very defensive and told me that everyone does drugs, ‘MDMA is safer than alcohol’ and lots more to that extent.

I was incredibly shocked- I know DD smokes (both cigarettes and weed) and whilst I would prefer her to stop, she’s 17 and like most of my peers, I did the same at her age. However, I knew absolutely nothing of the hard drugs and how common they are with her friends.

DH is also worried but sees it as an almost given. He went to a similar school in London to hers and was in a similar ‘scene’ when he was younger and confirms that it is very much the norm.

Mum of the party boy agreed that coke, ketamine, MDMA are all very normalised with their peers and thinks the best course of action is to educate them on dosages, rather than pleading with them to stop.

I feel so naive; I feel as if I have failed my daughter by bringing her up in this privileged inner city London environment where most of the DC have the money for these expensive drugs. But DH thinks it’s not our fault and that this happens everywhere. It certainly didn’t happen on this scale when I was growing up in a less privileged, more suburban area.

Is this normal for teenagers everywhere/ was I just incredibly sheltered growing up?

OP posts:
GiantSpider · 18/02/2022 12:32

All my school friends took E when I was 17/18, and my boyfriend took acid. I never did. It's hard to say why really, it just never appealed to me. I did try weed a few times.

Strugglingtodomybest · 18/02/2022 17:21

Funnily, I read this thread yesterday and then DS2 came home and told me that the police had been in school that day and seven pupils were suspended for drug possession.

7 out of approximately 1200 teenagers had drugs at school. They're obviously either really stupid and/or dealers.

DS1 went to a party in a 'posh' village last weekend and said there were kids doing coke there. I was really surprised, I asked him how on earth they could afford it and he said, "rich parents".

I think a lot of teenagers smoke weed these days, compared to when I was younger, from what my boys and friend's kids tell us. But it definitely depends on your group of friends I think, you're not likely to come into contact with it if you don't go out for instance.

worriedatthemoment · 18/02/2022 23:19

Im 40 odd and my mum would swear i have never tried drugs , I have not something i was into and i was def a teenager no one would of expected to take drugs
I would like to think my two haven't but can I be 100% sure def not and we talk openly as they so tell me how rife it is

CharacterForming · 18/02/2022 23:54

My parents would have sworn I wasn't doing drugs.

They'd have been right.

Ljmumun · 18/02/2022 23:59

Mine doesn't. ds is at uni says it's about and very obvious but not for him. Mainly because he's going into a career where random drugs tests are a thing and if he tested positive no job, so hes not even tempted to try . Dd says its used in her peer group yr 10 but not for her. She won't even drink alcohol despite my relaxed attitude about that at 15 .

NewYearNewMinty · 19/02/2022 00:01

South Coast here...17.5yo DD

Weed is common, most teens know where to get drugs but I don't know of any that do anything beyond weed, even having worked in a secondary school until recently.

Don't get me wrong I'm sure some kids did but it wasn't something we were hearing about all the time.

Dd is off to a festival later this year and I know there's been talk of weed, mainly from a friend of hers...I've just encouraged her to go easy and get it from a known source locally rather than buy shit off randoms when they get there, and don't for God's sake touch anything else or drink excessively with it.

HazelBite · 19/02/2022 00:05

I was a teenager in the late 60's early 70's and lived in London, drug taking then was very much "lucky if you survived unscathed". One lad that I knew well drove his car into a wall under the influence of LSD, Weed was of varying quality, no-one knew what they were taking, so I think we were more cautious than my DC's were or youngsters are nowadays.

Superhanz · 19/02/2022 00:10

My friendship circle did harder drugs at age 17 but it wasn't the norm at the time compared to other school friends. I'd say of our year group maybe 15-20% did harder drugs. We were inner city.

I agree with the other parent, unfortunately, to educate about doses as I don't think they are likely to listen if told to just not do it.

I did some really stupid things as a teen/early 20s on drugs/alcohol. Put myself in dangerous situations. My godson is I would say a 'good child' (he's 18 so not a child but close). He showed me a video today of him funneling straight vodka, his mum just laughed which shocked me as she saw me in some states over the years. It seems even the kids we deem as responsible are still pretty stupid sometimes. Alcohol to me is worse than some drugs.

WhatEvenHappened44 · 19/02/2022 00:17

No not all teenagers do this. I was brought up in a poor background in a rough area. Me and none of my friends went more extreme than weed. Of course there were a group of druggies at our college, but majority of people were not doing anything more than drinking alcohol and even less so smoking weed. It's absolutely just the crowd she hangs out with.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/02/2022 00:19

In our experience, no.

ImInStealthMode · 19/02/2022 00:20

@Mamamia7962

No, neither of my children, who are now adults, did drugs in their teens.

That's what my Mum would say too Hmm

OP lots of better advice here than I can give, but I think open doors and open conversation will always serve you better than zero tolerance.

montysma1 · 19/02/2022 00:24

I never took drugs and was never offered them, including at university.
You can choose your "scene".
Normalising drug use is dangerous.

Daffodil123456 · 19/02/2022 14:43

Drugs ruin lives

Find out who they get it from and report them to the Police

velvet24 · 19/02/2022 14:45

Most smoke weed i think, my eldest does and so does the group of friends, we don't allow it at home but v hard to stop them elsewhere. Proper drugs though, possibly meddled at uni.

neverbeenskiing · 19/02/2022 14:58

I work in a secondary school. It's a bit pointless asking this question on a parents forum as IME many parents of teenagers who regularly use drugs are completely in the dark about it. Or they think their DC have "probably tried weed" but don't use it habitually and wouldn't go near any harder drugs, either because that's what their DC has said (to get them off their back), or because they're basing their assumptions on what was commonplace when they were at school. Very few teenagers are as open with their parents about drugs as your DD has been, OP, although many like to think their DC tell them everything.
Not all teenagers take drugs but I do believe that far take them than some posters here seem to think.

MunchyMonsters · 19/02/2022 15:20

I know mine have never taken drugs because they are both adults now and we have spoken about it. I did weed a few times as a kid and they know this. Also as a social worker I live in the real world of teens.

downtonabbeyfan1234 · 19/02/2022 15:27

How much can a parent really do? I mean you could ground them?

collieresponder88 · 19/02/2022 15:49

I think drinking a bottle of wine can be worse than taking a small amount of mdma ! With wine you loose your Whitt's about you and can easily be taken advantage of especially youngsters. With mdma you are very alert of everything going and and in control. It's about everyone in moderation. Most teens are going to experience and as a parent you are very naive if you think your child won't. It doesn't mean then are going to become hardened drug users who waste their lives. Most use recreational drugs at parties or a festival and manage to not become dependent.

Cheekypeach · 19/02/2022 15:53

@MunchyMonsters

I know mine have never taken drugs because they are both adults now and we have spoken about it. I did weed a few times as a kid and they know this. Also as a social worker I live in the real world of teens.
I’m an adult and I would never admit taking drugs to my parents. They wouldn’t want to disappoint you.
soberfabulous · 19/02/2022 16:00

I would love to know how on earth the average teenagercan afford to buy coke? Am I missing something here?

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 16:02

I think drinking a bottle of wine can be worse than taking a small amount of mdma ! With wine you loose your Whitt's about you and can easily be taken advantage of especially youngsters. With mdma you are very alert of everything going and and in control.

But you don't know that it is MDMA, nor do you know what it has been mixed with because it isn't regulated.

collieresponder88 · 19/02/2022 16:04

@RampantIvy

I think drinking a bottle of wine can be worse than taking a small amount of mdma ! With wine you loose your Whitt's about you and can easily be taken advantage of especially youngsters. With mdma you are very alert of everything going and and in control.

But you don't know that it is MDMA, nor do you know what it has been mixed with because it isn't regulated.

Accident and emergency departments on a Saturday night will deal with many more drink related incidents than mdma use for sure
Ihaveroyallyscrewedup · 19/02/2022 16:04

I know in my teenagers circles it’s really frowned upon as is drinking to be drunk both have become very unfashionable and looked down upon.

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 16:09

Accident and emergency departments on a Saturday night will deal with many more drink related incidents than mdma use for sure

Yes you are right. I suspect a fair few of them will have mixed the drink with drugs as well.

dameofdilemma · 19/02/2022 16:12

Neverbeenskiing - really interesting you should say this - I was at a party recently where quite a few guests were secondary school teachers (from a mix of state and private schools) and their views echoed yours.

Most teens are likely to censor what they reveal to their parents.

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