Why do you benefit bash?

[greyblanket76]

My family and I are working class and always have been. My friends are too and so are the people that I tend to socialise with/meet in everyday life. I've only been on MN since last year but have seen so many comments bashing people who are on/depend on benefits and I'd really like to know why?

Is this because some people on here think everyone that's on benefits is lazy and doesn't want to work therefore claim benefits? Or is it something else?

I'll talk about my situation and will keep it as brief as possible as I already know people will come in the comments to try and shame me. I'm early 20s and a single mum (didn't start out that way but your whole life can literally change overnight and that's what happened to me). I have one DC and I'm expecting another so I've been on maternity leave back to back as I'll have 2 under 2.

I've worked full time since I was 17 right up until I went on my first maternity leave. Due to the rate of SMP, I'm entitled to benefits as SMP doesn't even cover my rent which is £1200. I'm entitled to £1670 of UC which covers my rent and all my bills. During the first 9 months of my maternity leave I was receiving around £1507 UC (due to deductions) + £638 SMP = £2145 a month.
Once I give birth to my second DC, my UC entitlement should go from £1670 to £1907. This isn't 100% accurate but due to receiving SMP, let's say the deductions would be due £1700 UC + £638 SMP = £2388 a month. That would be excluding child benefit for both children btw.

When I was working full time, I was earning £1383 a month. I do plan to go back to work after my maternity leave ends as I genuinely love my work and have my whole career in front of me. However can people see the huge jump in difference between the two amounts? Nearly a grand in total! When returning back to work, I would be entitled to some benefits however because I'd be working full time, it wouldn't be a lot. That's why it's advised that you drop hours to work part time in order to get the most help available.

I've read my post back and hope it isn't too confusing but I just wanted some people who benefit bash to understand that sometimes life on benefits seems better especially as you have kids because you get so much more help. My mum keeps telling me to consider not working for a year or two just because I need to consider the quality of life my DC and I will have. I wouldn't be able to pay for rent AND childcare so what would I do? There's a lot that comes into play when deciding if you should go back to work or just be on benefits and I hope some people got that from this post. Seeing as this is an anonymous forum, if you judge/bash people on benefits, I'd really be interested to hear why. Posting in AIBU because I'm prepared to be flamed and have learnt not to take nasty comments to heart

People don't create the system, true. But they make a conscious choice about whether or not to engage with it. Yes they do have control.

Claim Benefits or
Go homeless And Starve

Yeah that's a choice.

@numblittlebug

I think for me what stands out in this post is that you are entitled and getting more than I do a month and I work 40 hour weeks. I think the problem is what is the incentive to go back to work if you get more money being out of it (in some cases!)

I assume that if OP stays out of work then at some point the benefit cap exemption would stop being applied and OP would get maximum £23K per year (including Child Benefit). Would that bring her down below your income? If not you may want to use a benefit calculator (eg. EntitledTo or Turn2Us) to see if you are entitled to anything.

@MaryAndHerNet

People don't create the system, true. But they make a conscious choice about whether or not to engage with it. Yes they do have control.

Claim Benefits or
Go homeless And Starve

Yeah that's a choice.

Except those aren't always the only two choices, are they.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Because some people like to bang on about "morals" as if morals are going to pay the doubling energy bills this year.

I'm a single parent of a school age child and work 28 hours a week and get tax credits. Can't work any more hours as I have no childcare to do any more. Not really bothered what people think.

Waxon, Check first, but you would be much better off on UC, not TC.

Except those aren't always the only two choices, are they

To some people in some circumstances they are.

You want a woman with kids being beaten to stay where she is because it's that or homelessness and starvation?

You want a widower who lost their partner unexpectedly to not claim and not.pay rent?

You want a heavily pregnant woman who's husband has fucked off to not claim and give birth in the street?

So on and so on.

Especially those that don't actually know anyone on benefits but still has a perception of them and how they live their life
Why isn't it a surprise that of everything that's been mentioned, this is what you pick to focus on.

You say you are determined to go back to work but have done no research as to what that would entail and whether it would even be possible. Surely you were intending to return to work before you got pregnant again, so why didn't 6ou do your research then?

I'm not convinced at all that you will go back FT after the end of your maternity. Actually, I don't think it will happen at all once you'll have done your research.

If you do though, when you'll experience what it is like working FT whilst raising to little ones on your own, all this to be no better off financially, I can assure 5ou that you'll see those in the sane situation than you but opting for the life on benefits in a very different light.

As said before, resurrect this thread in 2 years and will see how you feel then.

Because a lot of posters on here haven't a clue what it's like to live in the 'real' world. There is a lot of talk of privately educated children and the expectation on here is that all 18 year olds go to uni, I've even seen suggestions to 'build an annex' when a poster was worrying about young adult DC having more space. Really.

So a lot of posters have no clue what it's like to be in that situation, there's a lot of suggestions to just knuckle down and work hard or the Molly-mae esque 'we all have the same chances in life'.

That said I don't find MN to be benefit bashers on the whole, in fact I'd say its more 50/50 or even 60/40 majority who don't bash benefits.

OP, there are plenty of kinds of people on MN and everyone is entitled to an opinion. Sometimes people do not realise how hard it is to be single parent and in a privately rented accommodation (£££) when you just have 'normal' job, which pays minimum wage. You are absolutely and utterly screwed. While some bored housewife with cleaner, nanny and a husband, earning 'six figures', sits on her high horse, criticising 'benefit people'.
If you go back to work FT while your DCs are little, you will not be able to pay rent and childcare, even if you claim UC, but do not quit job altogether, keep your foot in, ask for reduced hours, as to get back into work after few years fully on benefits will be very difficult.
Good luck. Looks like you need it 🍀

People benefit bash because they have watched programmes about those on benefits. These programs don't portray what life on benefits is really like. These programs go for single parents who spend all their money on designer clothes, fags and booze.
The reality when we were on benefits was no luxeries at all and struggled to feed the kids sometimes.
I'm not sure how OP is getting so much money as we didn't get anything like that and even on low wages still get more working than we ever did on benefits
Other people believe that everyone on benefits choose to live that way. That it's a lifestyle choice (and for some it is) and that they are lazy. It's because they don't understand or don't want to understand.
I absolutely hated being on benefits and life was a real struggle but it you are getting more on benefits than working it's not surprising people get pissed off.

@vivainsomnia

Especially those that don't actually know anyone on benefits but still has a perception of them and how they live their life Why isn't it a surprise that of everything that's been mentioned, this is what you pick to focus on.

You say you are determined to go back to work but have done no research as to what that would entail and whether it would even be possible. Surely you were intending to return to work before you got pregnant again, so why didn't 6ou do your research then?

I'm not convinced at all that you will go back FT after the end of your maternity. Actually, I don't think it will happen at all once you'll have done your research.

If you do though, when you'll experience what it is like working FT whilst raising to little ones on your own, all this to be no better off financially, I can assure 5ou that you'll see those in the sane situation than you but opting for the life on benefits in a very different light.

As said before, resurrect this thread in 2 years and will see how you feel then.

@vivainsomnia I actually wrote a whole post which had about 10 paragraphs summarising what I've learnt from this thread. MNHQ have now deleted it and I'm not about to rewrite all of that. Tbh I couldn't give a toss what you think, at the end of the day are you in my life helping with the childcare? Are you here paying my rent or providing money for my DCs? No, so I'm not actually interested in what you believe. Cya

I can tell you that I felt like a complete mug dragging myself out to work and losing money at the end of the month. But it was worth it in the long run. It’s tough though.

No, so I'm not actually interested in what you believe. Cya

I see we’ve come full circle from “I’d really like to know why” as per the opening post

@BobbinHood

No, so I'm not actually interested in what you believe. Cya

I see we’ve come full circle from “I’d really like to know why” as per the opening post

@BobbinHood haven't come full circle at all. It's the people that are picking and choosing from what I say to fuel the agenda. Look how many times I've commented and responded back to people. Nothing gets picked up about all the people I'm responding too saying I understand their point/sorry about their story and I can see why you'd feel that way etc. But as soon as I say something like 'it's been interesting to hear from the ones who have opinions on those on benefits but don't actually know anyone on benefits' it's 'of course you'd pick up on that' like give it a rest.

Yesterday I had loads of meaningful conversations and actually understood so much more. Some people are coming on here and acting like that hasn't happened so if I'm finally getting annoyed with some people's selective outrage then can you blame me

@BobbinHood

No, so I'm not actually interested in what you believe. Cya

I see we’ve come full circle from “I’d really like to know why” as per the opening post

Quite

@train4yog

OP, there are plenty of kinds of people on MN and everyone is entitled to an opinion. Sometimes people do not realise how hard it is to be single parent and in a privately rented accommodation (£££) when you just have 'normal' job, which pays minimum wage. You are absolutely and utterly screwed. While some bored housewife with cleaner, nanny and a husband, earning 'six figures', sits on her high horse, criticising 'benefit people'. If you go back to work FT while your DCs are little, you will not be able to pay rent and childcare, even if you claim UC, but do not quit job altogether, keep your foot in, ask for reduced hours, as to get back into work after few years fully on benefits will be very difficult. Good luck. Looks like you need it 🍀

@train4yog thank you for the wise words of encouragement🙌

So you only wanted to hear from people who know people on benefits? I know plenty but you didn’t like what I had to say. Or is it just that you only want to hear from people who agree with you, and think the reason is that we’re all out of touch toffs who’ve been born with silver spoons in our mouths?

You can’t ask to hear reasons why, but then decide you don’t like the reasons so actually you didn’t want to know why at all. Well, you can, but it makes you look a bit petulant and childish.

You started a deliberately goady post and didn’t like that people rose to the goading.

@MaryAndHerNet

Except those aren't always the only two choices, are they

To some people in some circumstances they are.

You want a woman with kids being beaten to stay where she is because it's that or homelessness and starvation?

You want a widower who lost their partner unexpectedly to not claim and not.pay rent?

You want a heavily pregnant woman who's husband has fucked off to not claim and give birth in the street?

So on and so on.

Hence why I said "not always". In some cases, like the ones you describe, yes there are likely only 2 options.

In many, many other cases, there is a 3rd option - to go out to work. But it's a less attractive option because it requires hard work and sacrifice.

@Rosebel

People benefit bash because they have watched programmes about those on benefits. These programs don't portray what life on benefits is really like. These programs go for single parents who spend all their money on designer clothes, fags and booze. The reality when we were on benefits was no luxeries at all and struggled to feed the kids sometimes. I'm not sure how OP is getting so much money as we didn't get anything like that and even on low wages still get more working than we ever did on benefits Other people believe that everyone on benefits choose to live that way. That it's a lifestyle choice (and for some it is) and that they are lazy. It's because they don't understand or don't want to understand. I absolutely hated being on benefits and life was a real struggle but it you are getting more on benefits than working it's not surprising people get pissed off.

@Rosebel yeah it's true. Someone said something similar somewhere within the thread regarding the programmes about those in benefits. It definitely paints people in a bad light.

£1670 is not so much money when rent is £1200 and that goes directly to the LL but I can understand how you look at the numbers and think that

@BobbinHood

So you only wanted to hear from people who know people on benefits? I know plenty but you didn’t like what I had to say. Or is it just that you only want to hear from people who agree with you, and think the reason is that we’re all out of touch toffs who’ve been born with silver spoons in our mouths?

You can’t ask to hear reasons why, but then decide you don’t like the reasons so actually you didn’t want to know why at all. Well, you can, but it makes you look a bit petulant and childish.

You started a deliberately goady post and didn’t like that people rose to the goading.

@BobbinHood

So you only wanted to hear from people who know people on benefits? I know plenty but you didn’t like what I had to say. Or is it just that you only want to hear from people who agree with you, and think the reason is that we’re all out of touch toffs who’ve been born with silver spoons in our mouths?

Honestly what are you talking about. I wanted to hear from the people that benefit bash and why they do. Loads have people have come on to say why they do. I asked a question and people answered. You can accuse me of starting a goady thread but if that's the case why would you still be here just fuelling the fire? I've given my reason why I started the thread however you don't want to believe it for whatever reason. That's no problem as I have a better understanding on something I wanted to know

Op I want you to know that, judging by the info here, you're doing your best.

There's some on here that are just awful people.

Judgemental and abhorrent.

..

Gover year heads a wobble and be thankful you're not in ops position.

Forgive me, but as adults, aren’t we all the architects of our destiny?

Yes, sometimes we have it harder than others. Yes, sometimes there’s things outside of our control. Yes, sometimes people need helped and protected through no fault of their own. But what’s wrong with taking personal accountability for our own life outcomes? Aren’t we sentient beings or are we just pawns that get moved around.

If we’re to take credit for our successes, we also need to take responsibility for when we’ve come up short .

I’m a firm believer that, whilst it might be tough at times (and I can personally testify to that), those who focus, knuckle down and work hard tend to succeed over time.