Why do you benefit bash?

[greyblanket76]

My family and I are working class and always have been. My friends are too and so are the people that I tend to socialise with/meet in everyday life. I've only been on MN since last year but have seen so many comments bashing people who are on/depend on benefits and I'd really like to know why?

Is this because some people on here think everyone that's on benefits is lazy and doesn't want to work therefore claim benefits? Or is it something else?

I'll talk about my situation and will keep it as brief as possible as I already know people will come in the comments to try and shame me. I'm early 20s and a single mum (didn't start out that way but your whole life can literally change overnight and that's what happened to me). I have one DC and I'm expecting another so I've been on maternity leave back to back as I'll have 2 under 2.

I've worked full time since I was 17 right up until I went on my first maternity leave. Due to the rate of SMP, I'm entitled to benefits as SMP doesn't even cover my rent which is £1200. I'm entitled to £1670 of UC which covers my rent and all my bills. During the first 9 months of my maternity leave I was receiving around £1507 UC (due to deductions) + £638 SMP = £2145 a month.
Once I give birth to my second DC, my UC entitlement should go from £1670 to £1907. This isn't 100% accurate but due to receiving SMP, let's say the deductions would be due £1700 UC + £638 SMP = £2388 a month. That would be excluding child benefit for both children btw.

When I was working full time, I was earning £1383 a month. I do plan to go back to work after my maternity leave ends as I genuinely love my work and have my whole career in front of me. However can people see the huge jump in difference between the two amounts? Nearly a grand in total! When returning back to work, I would be entitled to some benefits however because I'd be working full time, it wouldn't be a lot. That's why it's advised that you drop hours to work part time in order to get the most help available.

I've read my post back and hope it isn't too confusing but I just wanted some people who benefit bash to understand that sometimes life on benefits seems better especially as you have kids because you get so much more help. My mum keeps telling me to consider not working for a year or two just because I need to consider the quality of life my DC and I will have. I wouldn't be able to pay for rent AND childcare so what would I do? There's a lot that comes into play when deciding if you should go back to work or just be on benefits and I hope some people got that from this post. Seeing as this is an anonymous forum, if you judge/bash people on benefits, I'd really be interested to hear why. Posting in AIBU because I'm prepared to be flamed and have learnt not to take nasty comments to heart

People do it because they love to feel superior.
They probably have money because they made a house purchase and made a profit on it, or were lucky to be supported through education and consequently have good jobs.
They like to think its because they work bloody hard and have earned it ( like noone who isn't financially secure has or does work bloody hard)
They forget some people have disabilities that prevent them from working.
They've never known the joyless drudgery of poverty.

@AchillesPoirot

The father of your children should be paying. Why isn’t he?

What a stupid comment. Do you understand how difficult it is to get child maintenance if the man won't pay? Thousands of blokes get away with it.

I don’t blame individuals for taking whatever path is most financially advantageous to them. However I get frustrated at a system which sometimes makes it more financially rewarding to not work than to work. That makes no sense. Benefits should be claimed out of necessity, not out of choice.

I think a lot of it is down to “benefit porn” as I like to call it. All of those channel 5 programmes that enforce a certain stereotype and people fall for it and believe everyone is the same, we’re all just fat people with 30 kids slobbing around all day eating takeaways on their tax money. The media have a huge part in the blame game for that too. In addition to that people need to think about the root cause of the reasons the people on those programs are the way they are - there is a lot at play, it’s not just as simple as work shy and lazy.

In reality, benefits as a single parent or single person don’t stretch to constant take outs, new phones and computers etc - it’s just not doable. So there is either some playing the system going on OR crime. Because as someone on benefits with children I can tell you, it’s not the fun relaxing existence people like to portray.

You have worked since 17, now early 20s so what 6 , 7 years of tax a d NI if earnings over £12,000...I've worked since 17, to 60, never claimed a bean. You get near on £2000 a month, I've had to take early retirement due to ill health and have had to fight for over 18 months to be able to claim contributions based esa (42 plus year of contributions)..which I get for 1 year which is £ 75.00 a week...thats why I'm fed up with the system. Never mind I've got 7+ years until I retire. It's a piss take in many ways.

Agreed. Why would you get pregnant twice & still be a single parent,no serious logic here, sorry truth hurts

OP has said she didn't start out as a single mum but her life changed. I have a friend who was happily married, everything was fine, no signs of any problems in her marriage, pregnant with a jointly planned DC2 (she was on the fence initially, he did the persuading) and then when she was 7m pregnant he announced that actually he'd changed his mind about having another child, wasn't sure he had actually wanted DC1 either, and had been sleeping with someone else for the last four months when he was supposedly "playing five a side with the lads".

I’m also a single parent, I think lots of people associate universal credit with lazy scrounger. Perhaps that’s why tax credits were better. I claim universal credit and get roughly 800 quid a month I work 30 hours+. I can’t work any more due to a lack of childcare. It does make a difference as it means we can eat, keep the heat on, pay the mortgage, live a normal life.

I hope to get back to a more professional career at some point when childcare stops being an issue. Then I’d be able to come off UC but can’t without affordable, reliable childcare.

Because some people work 2 hours a week and get hundreds of pounds for it. Winds me up. Yes, I know that's probably the exception but that post still pisses me off.

Waxonwaxoff0

AchillesPoirot
The father of your children should be paying. Why isn’t he?
What a stupid comment. Do you understand how difficult it is to get child maintenance if the man won't pay? Thousands of blokes get away with it.

Yes. I do. I never got a penny. The state of CMS is shocking they are not fit for purpose.

It’s not a stupid comment to say that this Prince among men should be paying for the children he helped create.

@Cheeseonpost

This is a goady post but I will bite

You are early 20’s with 2 under 2 and you state you didn’t intend to be a single parent?

Tbh you are the embodiment of a stereotype so I don’t think your story will help convert those who bash those who have to claim benefits to maintain a standard of living.

Yep.

I've been on benefits for a year as a single parent when my ex left me with nothing, as soon as my child was eligible for 15 hours free childcare he went in and I went to part time work. I'd have got more staying on benefits for sure, but I don't want to sit around and get money for nothing for years. I like earning my own money, my son understands the value of work. It's pure laziness to sit on benefits when you are able to work.

Lots of people here fall into the “Just World” fallacy, so if you’re in a bad position it has to somehow be your fault or they feel unsafe.

Or they’re just massively out of touch and haven’t had a real conversation with someone on benefits so they just think we’re all sitting around wasting money on fags and booze living a comfy life.

🤷‍♀️

I’ve learned not to care what some random feels about my circumstances, but the ignorance can be grating sometimes.

Also your post points out why people benefit bash- the system sets you up to want to stay on it.

Its ridiculous you get more in benefits than you do working full time. No wonder those who do work full time but get less than you resent it.

@Mumofsend

I used to when I was ignorant and in a two-adult family earning a decent combined salary.

Then we realised my daughter is severely autistic, he did a runner because he couldn't cope. Next thing I know I'm fully reliant on benefits.

I don't think many people realise

1. how easily life can change overnight
2. how limiting life on benefits is
3. how limited entitlement to benefits is

It upsets me greatly how demonised benefit claimants are, when things like 4.3 billion being written off in fraudulent furlough claims or the tax avoidance by the wealthy raise nothing like the adverse response.

*I don't think many people realise

1. how easily life can change overnight
2. how limiting life on benefits is
3. how limited entitlement to benefits is*

100%! Life can honestly change in an instant. You went from a two parent household (the same as me) to having to raise your autistic DC by yourself. Yet someone can hear you're on benefits and judge you without even knowing your story. I find it bizzare but interesting at the same time. Also, that is very very true. It seems people have more energy for those that claim benefits for whatever reason, as opposed to the government who have constantly written off huge amounts of funds. It's laughable

Are you not benefits bashing a little, by trying to prove you’re not like the lazy claimants?

Personally I don’t bash. I’m on benefits myself due to mental illness.

@AchillesPoirot

Waxonwaxoff0

AchillesPoirot
The father of your children should be paying. Why isn’t he?
What a stupid comment. Do you understand how difficult it is to get child maintenance if the man won't pay? Thousands of blokes get away with it.

Yes. I do. I never got a penny. The state of CMS is shocking they are not fit for purpose.

It’s not a stupid comment to say that this Prince among men should be paying for the children he helped create.

Then why ask the question when you know the answer is probably because he's decided he doesn't want to pay and CMS won't make him.

For some people it is a lifestyle choice. I know this because I am closely related to such people. When I was pregnant with my first DC they came armed with everything I could claim for once I quit work. When I told them I had no intention of quitting they called me all the names going. What an idiot I was, didn't I know what I was 'entitled to' etc. etc.

Got worse when I then married my DH because the advice had been to not marry him, claim to be a single parent (with DH living with me but not tell 'them' that obvs).

You can pretend that people like this don't exist all you like but they do.

Also what you get is more than I took home working full time in England. The system is skewed.

I lost money in my first job after I graduated. It would’ve been better short term to stay on benefits.

Not in the long term but initially I lost around 4K a year.

That’s what’s wrong - it is better to stay on benefits than go to work.

No bashing here! I was a single parent at 18, took limited maternity leave and went back to work full time because my family circle bashed me daily about being a bad roll model for my child if I claimed any benefits. I even paid my own rent!!

This was the biggest mistake of my life, I worked so hard I barely seen my child and missed out on so much. He is 18 now and working is the biggest regret I have. Don’t listen to anyone else, do what you need to do.

You will be hit by the benefit cap so your figures are wrong

Sometimes it feels very unfair to have done the right thing, saved and waited until we could afford children and see others just sat around getting handouts when they could have done the same.

That's the thing though, you don't know what cards people have been dealt in life. You also don't know what will happen in your life but God forbid you ever have to claim benefits. I'm sure most people don't grow up wishing to be on benefits or even claim it, but things unfortunately happen. It's easy to say 'well I've done this, you could have done the same thing' but in reality it isn't that simple is it

Isn't it obvious why someone who works full time would be annoyed that someone having children they can't afford is given more per month than they are?

@HTH1

If you think people on benefits have “lots of luxuries”, you’re out of touch. Also there is a two kid benefit cap.