Why do you benefit bash?

[greyblanket76]

My family and I are working class and always have been. My friends are too and so are the people that I tend to socialise with/meet in everyday life. I've only been on MN since last year but have seen so many comments bashing people who are on/depend on benefits and I'd really like to know why?

Is this because some people on here think everyone that's on benefits is lazy and doesn't want to work therefore claim benefits? Or is it something else?

I'll talk about my situation and will keep it as brief as possible as I already know people will come in the comments to try and shame me. I'm early 20s and a single mum (didn't start out that way but your whole life can literally change overnight and that's what happened to me). I have one DC and I'm expecting another so I've been on maternity leave back to back as I'll have 2 under 2.

I've worked full time since I was 17 right up until I went on my first maternity leave. Due to the rate of SMP, I'm entitled to benefits as SMP doesn't even cover my rent which is £1200. I'm entitled to £1670 of UC which covers my rent and all my bills. During the first 9 months of my maternity leave I was receiving around £1507 UC (due to deductions) + £638 SMP = £2145 a month.
Once I give birth to my second DC, my UC entitlement should go from £1670 to £1907. This isn't 100% accurate but due to receiving SMP, let's say the deductions would be due £1700 UC + £638 SMP = £2388 a month. That would be excluding child benefit for both children btw.

When I was working full time, I was earning £1383 a month. I do plan to go back to work after my maternity leave ends as I genuinely love my work and have my whole career in front of me. However can people see the huge jump in difference between the two amounts? Nearly a grand in total! When returning back to work, I would be entitled to some benefits however because I'd be working full time, it wouldn't be a lot. That's why it's advised that you drop hours to work part time in order to get the most help available.

I've read my post back and hope it isn't too confusing but I just wanted some people who benefit bash to understand that sometimes life on benefits seems better especially as you have kids because you get so much more help. My mum keeps telling me to consider not working for a year or two just because I need to consider the quality of life my DC and I will have. I wouldn't be able to pay for rent AND childcare so what would I do? There's a lot that comes into play when deciding if you should go back to work or just be on benefits and I hope some people got that from this post. Seeing as this is an anonymous forum, if you judge/bash people on benefits, I'd really be interested to hear why. Posting in AIBU because I'm prepared to be flamed and have learnt not to take nasty comments to heart

“ Maybe those people working hard to earn the same as the benefit amount made poor life choices?
Should have studied more.
Worked harder.
Let's face it, unless they're Elon Musk, they could have done better but chose not too.”

Is this a joke?

well @MaryAndHerNet i did give opinions in good faith early on and i have consistently, despite OP not listening, said that people who are on benefits clearly need them until they don't (or words to that effect) and that I personally have no issue with it.

But the frankly piffle of the wide-eyed "oh i didn'T think of that" really riled me so rather than "picking on" OP i mentioned it.
And since I'm in a rather boring meeting probably posted more than i would usually.

But OP has displayed a rather nasty streak, and reading what she is writing i can see, as can others, that she clearly believes she is in the right about her opinions (fine, but wrong on some) and dismissing people who are telling her how she comes across.

Calling someone slow - and THEN repeatedly saying "well, i don't know about that" (child care, tax credits whatever) is just... daft. Frankly.

"I wasn't on a 'flat' rate though as ds got HRC DLA so that added on a very decent extra amount of child tax credit."

Carers allowance is taxable income though so the extra disabled child element is in reality less than it first looks.

Op I’m sorry, but I think you do come across as not really understanding why some people may find it (the system) unfair. Under your example (estimated and an example, I know) someone can take home the same as a person earning over 30k, while not working.

Do you see how that might feel to someone who works their arse off but can’t get anywhere near 32k. Maybe through no fault of their own. I know it’s not right to “bash” the individual but you can see why that feeling of unfairness can manifest in something g that feels like bashing, especially when you can’t empathise with that feeling.

@BillMasen

“ Maybe those people working hard to earn the same as the benefit amount made poor life choices? Should have studied more. Worked harder. Let's face it, unless they're Elon Musk, they could have done better but chose not too.”

Is this a joke?

I can only assume so. Surely no one would make a comment like that and mean it genuinely.

@Brefugee

well *@MaryAndHerNet* i did give opinions in good faith early on and i have consistently, despite OP not listening, said that people who are on benefits clearly need them until they don't (or words to that effect) and that I personally have no issue with it.

But the frankly piffle of the wide-eyed "oh i didn'T think of that" really riled me so rather than "picking on" OP i mentioned it.
And since I'm in a rather boring meeting probably posted more than i would usually.

But OP has displayed a rather nasty streak, and reading what she is writing i can see, as can others, that she clearly believes she is in the right about her opinions (fine, but wrong on some) and dismissing people who are telling her how she comes across.

Calling someone slow - and THEN repeatedly saying "well, i don't know about that" (child care, tax credits whatever) is just... daft. Frankly.

@Brefugee if you're having a bad day and just need someone to take it out on then just say that.

But the frankly piffle of the wide-eyed "oh i didn'T think of that" really riled me so rather than "picking on" OP i mentioned it.

Point me to where I said 'oh I didn't think of that' and what was that even regarding😕you really have an agenda here it's so bizzare

But OP has displayed a rather nasty streak, and reading what she is writing i can see, as can others, that she clearly believes she is in the right about her opinions (fine, but wrong on some) and dismissing people who are telling her how she comes across.

???? A nasty streak?? Dismissing people when they're telling me what exactly? You definitely haven't read the full thread and I can tell

Calling someone slow - and THEN repeatedly saying "well, i don't know about that" (child care, tax credits whatever) is just... daft. Frankly.

I @d them telling them the previous post is for them and they still processed to ask the same question three times. The answer was also in the OP. I've already said this to you but of course you need points to back up your agenda.

I said I don't know much about tax credits right now so I can't tell the poster my plan as she asked how I'll manage. Are you actually okay? What's wrong with me not wanting to speak on something I barely have knowledge on right now. How is that daft? And why are you lying about 'and THEN repeatedly saying well I don't know about that' get your facts right man you sound like a miserable shit. I'm trying so hard to ignore you but you're literally just here lying

@MaryAndHerNet

So isn't it a bit disingenuous to say only 1% is spending on the unemployed if that is just the allowance for the adult.

Nope.

The unemployed get what I linked too.

Housing costs cover workers and pensioners. But I'm happy to see you're reading.

You missed my observation about family. And yes I do know the housing costs are for all those that qualify for housing benefit. No need to be so snippy.

I think the issue is that wages in this country are are far too low relative to the cost of living.

What you get a month is more than an average full time worker would take home in a month

Not really surprising that people working full time on average or below average wages would feel resentful.

I have explained why I felt what you said was ambiguous @greyblanket76. Why do you keep referring to it as if I’m “a bit slow”?

I don't bash people on benefits and I think, as you've clearly explained above, that in some circumstances it makes a lot more sense to work less and claim more - especially if you're in a job where you just won't get the same level of money that you need.

I have family and friends who pretend they are separated from their partner and claim the max amounts of UC and other benefits. Not sure how I feel about that though. It's their lives and their choice though

@AchillesPoirot

I have explained why I felt what you said was ambiguous *@greyblanket76*. Why do you keep referring to it as if I’m “a bit slow”?

@AchillesPoirot omg seriously I thought we moved past this. I'm responding to the post who's trying to fuel their agenda saying I'm calling people slow as if it was for no reason. I understand there was a misunderstanding regarding working full time or part time. It's been clarified and it's done now. I mentioned it as the other poster brought it up and won't do so again

@MidnightMeltdown

I think the issue is that wages in this country are are far too low relative to the cost of living.

What you get a month is more than an average full time worker would take home in a month

Not really surprising that people working full time on average or below average wages would feel resentful.

@MidnightMeltdown I can definitely see that now, especially this part 'Not really surprising that people working full time on average or below average wages would feel resentful.'

As I said to someone else, it may seem like common sense that people would feel resentful but a lot of people in this thread have mentioned they have mortgages, another person in the house on a full time wage and so on. To me, they're the ones winning in life as they're so much better off to those in benefits so I didn't understand it. I've read every single comment and many people have come here to explain and say why so yeah I definitely understand it now

Because it seems unfair to take home that much in benefits when others work hard (me included) and get nowhere near that amount.

No op. In all honesty I’m not “past it”.

You posted ambiguously and then went after me when I asked for a clarification. You called me slow more than once and have not apologised.

You also said you’d bolded a post to me when you hadn’t.

And you’ve continued to belittle me and make out that I’m stupid.

You posted ambiguously and then went after me when I asked for a clarification. You called me slow more than once and have not apologised

It was only ambiguous to you. I understood it perfectly. It is not OPs fault how you read something.

She also replied and put in the asterix to bold.. a simple typo.

@greyblanket76

Some may have mortgages and a partner, but not everyone will. There will also be people working full time, who live alone in a rented bedsit or studio flat who take home less than you.

The trouble is OP that you've admitted it was a choice to have two children very young close together and from an outsiders perspective there is no reason to do this with you being so young (I mean in terms of fertility). You have now financially disadvantaged yourself and your existing child and many people will see this as a cycle which will be repeated by your children. A lot of people wait until they are older and financially stable to have children and then have to make the decision to have one at most because that's all they can afford with rising living and education costs, that's why people get pissed off, it doesn't seem like you've considered the future at all which isn't surprising as you are still so young. Having said that I think there should be benefits in place to help people when they need it and I'd really like to see improvements to help people break the cycle. Best of luck to you, I hope you can provide a life for your children where they can excel and not have to rely on benefits when they are your age.

It’s not my fault she can’t bold.

And calling me slow when I (and others) read the paragraph differently to what she intended was rude.

And to carry on bashing me when I have explained I am autistic is ableist. And rude.

@crossstitchingnana

Because it seems unfair to take home that much in benefits when others work hard (me included) and get nowhere near that amount.

Yep. The answer is obvious, really, isn't it.

@AchillesPoirot

No op. In all honesty I’m not “past it”.

You posted ambiguously and then went after me when I asked for a clarification. You called me slow more than once and have not apologised.

You also said you’d bolded a post to me when you hadn’t.

And you’ve continued to belittle me and make out that I’m stupid.

@AchillesPoirot I did not 'go after you.' I @'d you and told you the previous comment was for you yet you carried on asking the same question three times. Even other posters were quoting you answering you by saying that I had already answered that. One even copied and pasted what was in my OP. If you read it as ambiguous then that has nothing to do with me. Many others were able to read it and understand what I meant.

I also posted the screenshot showing the asterisks around what was meant to come up in bold and it did not. I said my bad as I never knew it didn't show up in bold when it should have. I don't know what you want from me and I'm definitely not apologising so

I'm mid 30s, worked full time since 16, no debt apart from mortgage. Partner works full time. I moved jobs before becoming pregnant (years of infertility so gave up trying to stall life to wait for pregnancy) so I'm not entitled to SMP, currently working out how to afford our bills and not tap into savings whilst I'm on mat leave. Partner gets two weeks paternity at gov rate, I'll be on maternity allowance. So yeh, sometimes it seems like working our bums off doesn't really pay 🤷🏻

@AchillesPoirot

It’s not my fault she can’t bold.

And calling me slow when I (and others) read the paragraph differently to what she intended was rude.

And to carry on bashing me when I have explained I am autistic is ableist. And rude.

Youre the one dragging it out.

No one else.. simply leave the thread.

@MaryAndHerNet

You posted ambiguously and then went after me when I asked for a clarification. You called me slow more than once and have not apologised

It was only ambiguous to you. I understood it perfectly. It is not OPs fault how you read something.

She also replied and put in the asterix to bold.. a simple typo.

Thank you!

@AchillesPoirot

It’s not my fault she can’t bold.

And calling me slow when I (and others) read the paragraph differently to what she intended was rude.

And to carry on bashing me when I have explained I am autistic is ableist. And rude.

@AchillesPoirot no one is bashing you? You keep commenting when I left it alone ages ago...

As I said to someone else, it may seem like common sense that people would feel resentful but a lot of people in this thread have mentioned they have mortgages, another person in the house on a full time wage and so on. To me, they're the ones winning in life as they're so much better off to those in benefits so I didn't understand it.

What about the ones working FT to keep afloat as single parents, with no mortgage (as they're unable to save for a deposit due to childcare costs), no partner, no family support locally.... just working flat out to stay afloat and bringing home the same or less than the amount you quoted in your OP. How are they "winning"? You can surely understand it.