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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do you benefit bash?

1000 replies

greyblanket76 · 15/02/2022 17:08

My family and I are working class and always have been. My friends are too and so are the people that I tend to socialise with/meet in everyday life. I've only been on MN since last year but have seen so many comments bashing people who are on/depend on benefits and I'd really like to know why?

Is this because some people on here think everyone that's on benefits is lazy and doesn't want to work therefore claim benefits? Or is it something else?

I'll talk about my situation and will keep it as brief as possible as I already know people will come in the comments to try and shame me. I'm early 20s and a single mum (didn't start out that way but your whole life can literally change overnight and that's what happened to me). I have one DC and I'm expecting another so I've been on maternity leave back to back as I'll have 2 under 2.

I've worked full time since I was 17 right up until I went on my first maternity leave. Due to the rate of SMP, I'm entitled to benefits as SMP doesn't even cover my rent which is £1200. I'm entitled to £1670 of UC which covers my rent and all my bills. During the first 9 months of my maternity leave I was receiving around £1507 UC (due to deductions) + £638 SMP = £2145 a month.
Once I give birth to my second DC, my UC entitlement should go from £1670 to £1907. This isn't 100% accurate but due to receiving SMP, let's say the deductions would be due £1700 UC + £638 SMP = £2388 a month. That would be excluding child benefit for both children btw.

When I was working full time, I was earning £1383 a month. I do plan to go back to work after my maternity leave ends as I genuinely love my work and have my whole career in front of me. However can people see the huge jump in difference between the two amounts? Nearly a grand in total! When returning back to work, I would be entitled to some benefits however because I'd be working full time, it wouldn't be a lot. That's why it's advised that you drop hours to work part time in order to get the most help available.

I've read my post back and hope it isn't too confusing but I just wanted some people who benefit bash to understand that sometimes life on benefits seems better especially as you have kids because you get so much more help. My mum keeps telling me to consider not working for a year or two just because I need to consider the quality of life my DC and I will have. I wouldn't be able to pay for rent AND childcare so what would I do? There's a lot that comes into play when deciding if you should go back to work or just be on benefits and I hope some people got that from this post. Seeing as this is an anonymous forum, if you judge/bash people on benefits, I'd really be interested to hear why. Posting in AIBU because I'm prepared to be flamed and have learnt not to take nasty comments to heart

OP posts:
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Original poster
greyblanket76 · 16/02/2022 12:29

@Joinedforthis22

The trouble is OP that you've admitted it was a choice to have two children very young close together and from an outsiders perspective there is no reason to do this with you being so young (I mean in terms of fertility). You have now financially disadvantaged yourself and your existing child and many people will see this as a cycle which will be repeated by your children. A lot of people wait until they are older and financially stable to have children and then have to make the decision to have one at most because that's all they can afford with rising living and education costs, that's why people get pissed off, it doesn't seem like you've considered the future at all which isn't surprising as you are still so young. Having said that I think there should be benefits in place to help people when they need it and I'd really like to see improvements to help people break the cycle. Best of luck to you, I hope you can provide a life for your children where they can excel and not have to rely on benefits when they are your age.
That's fair enough @Joinedforthis22 thanks for your comment
OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 16/02/2022 12:30

Obviously you aren’t familiar with the concept of xpost.

Brefugee · 16/02/2022 12:30

@greyblanket76

your words Before I started this thread, no I didn't see how it could rub people up the wrong way,

I'm not having a bad day. I am posting more than i normally would because i'm bored and i really wanted to see if you are willing to take on board what people are saying. You. Are. Not.

Limegreentangerine · 16/02/2022 12:30

Wow 1670?! That's more than I get full time :(

Original poster
greyblanket76 · 16/02/2022 12:32

@Sofiegiraffe

As I said to someone else, it may seem like common sense that people would feel resentful but a lot of people in this thread have mentioned they have mortgages, another person in the house on a full time wage and so on. To me, they're the ones winning in life as they're so much better off to those in benefits so I didn't understand it.

What about the ones working FT to keep afloat as single parents, with no mortgage (as they're unable to save for a deposit due to childcare costs), no partner, no family support locally.... just working flat out to stay afloat and bringing home the same or less than the amount you quoted in your OP. How are they "winning"? You can surely understand it.

@Sofiegiraffe as I've said 1000 times, I understand it now. What do you want me to do? I've kept on saying I'm grateful for the responses as it's genuinely opened my eyes. I don't see how anyone can be annoyed that someone has £73 to last them the month but fair enough. The figures might look all nice and shiny but that's not the reality
OP posts:
MaryAndHerNet · 16/02/2022 12:33

[quote Brefugee]@greyblanket76

your words Before I started this thread, no I didn't see how it could rub people up the wrong way,

I'm not having a bad day. I am posting more than i normally would because i'm bored and i really wanted to see if you are willing to take on board what people are saying. You. Are. Not.[/quote]
Shouldn't you be at work?

Benefits to pay.

Sofiegiraffe · 16/02/2022 12:33

OP you're honestly coming across as quite snippy and rude now. And refusing to apologise to a poster who has autism, who you offensively called "slow", is really quite telling.

FTEngineerM · 16/02/2022 12:33

I don't see how anyone can be annoyed that someone has £73 to last them the month

Do you think that’s limited to people who claim benefits😬🥲?

Sofiegiraffe · 16/02/2022 12:34

I'm grateful for the responses as it's genuinely opened my eyes.

Well that's something.

Sofiegiraffe · 16/02/2022 12:34

@FTEngineerM

I don't see how anyone can be annoyed that someone has £73 to last them the month

Do you think that’s limited to people who claim benefits😬🥲?

Precisely!

Cheekypeach · 16/02/2022 12:35

@Sofiegiraffe

OP you're honestly coming across as quite snippy and rude now. And refusing to apologise to a poster who has autism, who you offensively called "slow", is really quite telling.
I agree.

Very high and mighty for somebody who has asked why people who make responsible life decisions don’t want to finance her irresponsible ones.

BulletTrain · 16/02/2022 12:37

@FTEngineerM

I don't see how anyone can be annoyed that someone has £73 to last them the month

Do you think that’s limited to people who claim benefits😬🥲?

Indeed. Ultimately, particularly in a job and not a career (for example, the vets I know wanted to be vets as opposed to "well, I have to do something so why not rack up 7 years of student debt and be on call overnight"), there is so much that is shit about working. Unreasonable bosses, irritating colleagues, commuting, appraisals. The payoff is, generally, financial security. But for many, they don't get that either and can't afford to heat and eat.
Glitterygreen · 16/02/2022 12:37

I think it's just very hard for people who go out to work, still struggle to make ends meet AND miss time with their own children to hear about people who are capable of working but choose not to because their life is better on benefits.

Even though I think most would understand why they made that choice when looking at the numbers (as you've shown, many are financially much better off on benefits than they would be working). It's a bit of a trap.

People also have issues with those they know in real life. I have a friends who have recently had a baby. She was off on mat leave and now won't go back and he is signed off from work due to mental health but is secretly working through his own business on the side. They have a joint UC claim and he earns a couple of grand on top of that through his side hustle. Things like that make people annoyed.

MaryAndHerNet · 16/02/2022 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Sofiegiraffe · 16/02/2022 12:38

And it's not being annoyed that someone has £73 to last them the month, that makes no sense. The annoyance is aimed at the sense of entitlement that often (admittedly not always) comes with it. When some people are working 40 hour weeks to keep their families afloat, it stands to reasons that when they come across (able bodied and fit for work) people who made an active choice to take an easier route for the same amount of money... well yeah. It's annoying. It doesn't keep me awake at night. But it grates when I think about it, yes.

Sofiegiraffe · 16/02/2022 12:39

@MaryAndHerNet

😂

I'll ignore your demands of me to "prove" anything.

Prove the Op is genuine? I'll wait.....

Ridiculous comment.

MaryAndHerNet · 16/02/2022 12:39

@Glitterygreen

I think it's just very hard for people who go out to work, still struggle to make ends meet AND miss time with their own children to hear about people who are capable of working but choose not to because their life is better on benefits.

Even though I think most would understand why they made that choice when looking at the numbers (as you've shown, many are financially much better off on benefits than they would be working). It's a bit of a trap.

People also have issues with those they know in real life. I have a friends who have recently had a baby. She was off on mat leave and now won't go back and he is signed off from work due to mental health but is secretly working through his own business on the side. They have a joint UC claim and he earns a couple of grand on top of that through his side hustle. Things like that make people annoyed.

Report them. There's plenty of ways to report people for benefit fraud.
MaryAndHerNet · 16/02/2022 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Original poster
greyblanket76 · 16/02/2022 12:43

[quote Brefugee]@greyblanket76

your words Before I started this thread, no I didn't see how it could rub people up the wrong way,

I'm not having a bad day. I am posting more than i normally would because i'm bored and i really wanted to see if you are willing to take on board what people are saying. You. Are. Not.[/quote]
@Brefugee I literally wrote a whole paragraph summarising what I've learnt from this thread but of course you'd choose to ignore that. Of course I'd say before I started this thread. That's because I've learnt new things....

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 16/02/2022 12:43

@MaryAndHerNet I’m sure you can AS. And I’m also sure that hq can confirm that I’m a regular poster who name changed and who has posed about being autistic before.

Prove it? Why don’t you ask the op to prove what she’s posted?

AchillesPoirot · 16/02/2022 12:43

*posted

Original poster
greyblanket76 · 16/02/2022 12:43

@Limegreentangerine

Wow 1670?! That's more than I get full time :(
Same but that's only because my rent is £1200 and it pays the full rent
OP posts:
Newjourney2894 · 16/02/2022 12:44

Hmm I bet OP wrote this post to goad people and whilst they may have plans to return from maternity from the 1st child.. I bet they certainly don’t have plans to return following the birth of the 2nd baby which hasn’t even been born yet.

The benefits and financial system in this country is screwed because so many people want to use their tax for useful things like the NHS and better social care but they aren’t because even a small fraction is going on paying someone not to work because they want to be at home with their children.

Have you been asked whether SMP and UC together was more than you were taking home before the children yet? Because I’d love to see those figures…

Original poster
greyblanket76 · 16/02/2022 12:45

@FTEngineerM

I don't see how anyone can be annoyed that someone has £73 to last them the month

Do you think that’s limited to people who claim benefits😬🥲?

@FTEngineerM no and that's exactly my point!! Most people who are on benefits are still struggling to get by so why bash them when they're still living shit lives anyway. I've got answers now but that's literally my point. One poster assumed people on benefits have free money to be spending on 'luxuries'
OP posts:
DickMabutt73962 · 16/02/2022 12:46

OP you're just looking for a fight. You asked why people judge, and then argued with everyone who gave you reasons.

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