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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not see this as a problem?

107 replies

Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 12:23

Dd is 2 and in nursery. She has a v rare name, never ever heard any other child with it. Funnily enough DDs best friend at nursery, same age same name. Couldn’t make it up, they walk around the nursery holding hands and are often in the corner having ‘chin wags’ together (nursery staff have said). Her mum is lovely too, we’ve become friends…

Anyway to the aibu..

Told my mother this on the phone and she started to get weird. The girls like to play together at nursery so according to the staff often call for each other by using their full names, e.g. Isabella smith come play please (not their names I’m aware Isabella isn’t a rare name, it’s just an example) and then the other will call back ‘ok Isabella George, I’m coming’. I found this the sweetest. Mother dearest not so much and said ‘oh that’s not good at all is it, I’d be putting a stop to that pronto’

I asked her what the problem with that was and she said, don’t pretend you don’t know and then hung up…
I’m severely LC with DM due to constant comments that are sly put downs, especially around parenting.

This is another one of those right? Or am i BU and overreacting?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/02/2022 12:24

Ignore your batshit mother.

pinkyredrose · 13/02/2022 12:25

Ignore her, sounds like she just wanted something to criticise.

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2022 12:26

She’s crackers, ignore

Inspectorslack · 13/02/2022 12:26

I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

MountainAshley · 13/02/2022 12:26

I don't understand what is wrong with it either. If it's a sly put down I can't work out what she is trying to imply with it.

I also think it sounds quite sweet that your daughter and her friend talk to each other like this. Unless I'm missing something, I can't see anything at all wrong with it!

OpheliaThrupps · 13/02/2022 12:29

@Namechangetimes100

Dd is 2 and in nursery. She has a v rare name, never ever heard any other child with it. Funnily enough DDs best friend at nursery, same age same name. Couldn’t make it up, they walk around the nursery holding hands and are often in the corner having ‘chin wags’ together (nursery staff have said). Her mum is lovely too, we’ve become friends…

Anyway to the aibu..

Told my mother this on the phone and she started to get weird. The girls like to play together at nursery so according to the staff often call for each other by using their full names, e.g. Isabella smith come play please (not their names I’m aware Isabella isn’t a rare name, it’s just an example) and then the other will call back ‘ok Isabella George, I’m coming’. I found this the sweetest. Mother dearest not so much and said ‘oh that’s not good at all is it, I’d be putting a stop to that pronto’

I asked her what the problem with that was and she said, don’t pretend you don’t know and then hung up…
I’m severely LC with DM due to constant comments that are sly put downs, especially around parenting.

This is another one of those right? Or am i BU and overreacting?

This does seem strange.
amusedbush · 13/02/2022 12:29

My brother had the same first name as two other boys in his class at primary school. The first time a friend knocked on the door for him, he asked my mum, "can [full name] come out to play?" Grin

I think it's cute and your mum's reaction is really weird.

MsSquiz · 13/02/2022 12:30

She'd be putting a stop to what exactly?

Your dd being called by her full name or your dd playing with and having a friend who shares her name?

I mean, either way, she's crackers!

I could maybe, kind of understand a slight annoyance if nursery staff had given your dd a nickname to be known by to avoid confusion... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Seeline · 13/02/2022 12:30

It's standard - I suspect the staff call them that and the DCs have picked it up.

DD had two girls in her class with the same name and they were known as Name Surname initial at primary. All their friends called them that, even if the other wasn't around
At secondary she had 2 girls with the same name AND the first 4 letters of the surname the same. They were known by Name Last syllable of surname 😆. Why they were put in the same class was beyond me!

CrystalCoco · 13/02/2022 12:30

I honestly cannot see what the problem could be with this, your DM sounds a little strange, and then to suggest you're just being difficult and that you know perfectly well what the problem is...very odd Hmm

Please update if you ever do find out what she thinks is wrong here

bloodywhitecat · 13/02/2022 12:31

I have no idea what your mother thinks could happen when children use their full names to talk to each other, I am guessing the children are mimicking the language the nursery staff sometimes use when speaking to the girls.

NeverTouchWarmPants · 13/02/2022 12:33

Your mum is being weird, it's cute

DropYourSword · 13/02/2022 12:34

I asked her what the problem with that was and she said, don’t pretend you don’t know and then hung up…

I mean, to be fair it's pretty hard to pretend not to know when you don't actually know! I have no idea what the issue is supposed to be either!

Chestofdraws · 13/02/2022 12:36

Well I don’t know either so she’d need to explain it to me too. And it is sweet also for me. Your mum sounds like a pita.

M0rT · 13/02/2022 12:36

I have a very common name and some of my friends use my full name when talking to/about me because they have another friend with that name.
It's pretty normal and like pp said they've obviously picked it up form the staff.
It's very cute that your little girl already had a best pal at 2.
I'd leave your DM to it and enjoy the break if she sulks for a while.

NeesAndToes · 13/02/2022 12:37

What on earth is her issue?!

Does DD have your last name and she's one of those people who are weird about it?

Is the last name a rude/funny one?

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 12:39

Exactly, the girls have heard the staff and copied it, i think developmentally it’s quite good as it means they both know their full names.

My sneaking suspicion is that it’s a ‘foreign’ name (it’s a rarish Arabic name) DM is white british although DD is mixed race she’s white passing and the fact there’s another little girl with her name means she’s cultivated a friendship with a child’s who’s not white. DD also has a ‘non British’ surname so she’s probably triggered by that.

Every conversation there is some sort of ‘oh that’s not good’ or just an ‘oh’… another was she only knows 2 ‘correct’ species of Dinosaurs (raptor and T. rex) the others she calls the names from land before time and Jurassic world camp something or other

OP posts:
LittleRed53 · 13/02/2022 12:40

If DM is not willing to clarify the issue, I'd just ignore it and move on.

Honestly it sounds nothing but cute to me too, I can't imagine what your mum thinks the problem is. She must just love making drama out of everything.

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 12:41

DD doesn’t have my surname (she has it as a middle name) but she has her dads surname. We’re married but I didn’t change my last name, and they don’t sound nice as double barrelled as they’re both quite strong and long last names:

Both girls have ‘foreign’ surnames

OP posts:
PriamFarrl · 13/02/2022 12:43

I’ve taught primary and early years for years. They is nearly always a double of a first name so they end up being called Oscar Jones and Oscar Smith.
I’ve seen ‘Oscar’ writing a card to his dad for his birthday and signing it Oscar Smith. They get used to writing it on their work so it makes sense.

Inspectorslack · 13/02/2022 12:44

Fwiw I had a situation where dd recently spelled her name to me.

I pointed out that I knew how to spell her name because I named her 😂

She’s 19.

whosaidtha · 13/02/2022 12:45

How do you not know what the issue is? Clearly she chose an unusual name hoping that no one would share her name and now they do. There are countless threads on the name board agonising over this very issue and how to avoid it. Even more upsetting if you purposefully chose something unusual and not in the top 100. She's odd for being openly upset but I can see why.

MsSquiz · 13/02/2022 12:47

@whosaidtha

How do you not know what the issue is? Clearly she chose an unusual name hoping that no one would share her name and now they do. There are countless threads on the name board agonising over this very issue and how to avoid it. Even more upsetting if you purposefully chose something unusual and not in the top 100. She's odd for being openly upset but I can see why.
@whosaidtha I think you may have completely misunderstood.

It is the child's grandmother (OP's mum) who has an issue, not the other child's mother

TriciaMcMillan · 13/02/2022 12:48

@whosaidtha

How do you not know what the issue is? Clearly she chose an unusual name hoping that no one would share her name and now they do. There are countless threads on the name board agonising over this very issue and how to avoid it. Even more upsetting if you purposefully chose something unusual and not in the top 100. She's odd for being openly upset but I can see why.
It's the grandmother, the poster's own mother who is upset. I assume she didn't name her grandchild.
HerRoyalHappiness · 13/02/2022 12:49

Your mum is Crackers.