Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not see this as a problem?

107 replies

Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 12:23

Dd is 2 and in nursery. She has a v rare name, never ever heard any other child with it. Funnily enough DDs best friend at nursery, same age same name. Couldn’t make it up, they walk around the nursery holding hands and are often in the corner having ‘chin wags’ together (nursery staff have said). Her mum is lovely too, we’ve become friends…

Anyway to the aibu..

Told my mother this on the phone and she started to get weird. The girls like to play together at nursery so according to the staff often call for each other by using their full names, e.g. Isabella smith come play please (not their names I’m aware Isabella isn’t a rare name, it’s just an example) and then the other will call back ‘ok Isabella George, I’m coming’. I found this the sweetest. Mother dearest not so much and said ‘oh that’s not good at all is it, I’d be putting a stop to that pronto’

I asked her what the problem with that was and she said, don’t pretend you don’t know and then hung up…
I’m severely LC with DM due to constant comments that are sly put downs, especially around parenting.

This is another one of those right? Or am i BU and overreacting?

OP posts:
iRun2eatCake · 13/02/2022 13:16

The fact you facetime her gives her more "rights" as she's had contact of sorts.

Has she ever had input to their upbringing i.e childcare as otherwise she has no legal rights

HughGrantsHair · 13/02/2022 13:18

Ignore your mother. She is BU.

When they're at school, you'll probably find they end up referring to themselves as Isabella S and Isabella G.

Fedupsotired · 13/02/2022 13:18

How odd! We have a common name round here so we all call the children by their full names!

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 13:19

@iRun2eatCake

The fact you facetime her gives her more "rights" as she's had contact of sorts.

Has she ever had input to their upbringing i.e childcare as otherwise she has no legal rights

Nope, I can count the amount of times she’s seen dd on one hand. She’s got no rights to her, she’s utterly delusional as well she seems to think they can build a relationship exclusively via FaceTime and by gifts in the mail. Dd is 2.5 she’s not exactly one for gassing on the phone, especially to someone who’s in essence a stranger
OP posts:
iRun2eatCake · 13/02/2022 13:25

Stop bothering with the Facetime then if it's of no benefit to your DD. She won't be exposed to your DM rubbish then

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 13:30

@iRun2eatCake

Stop bothering with the Facetime then if it's of no benefit to your DD. She won't be exposed to your DM rubbish then
It’s a shame isn’t it. I’d stopped all contact due to drama only reinstated 2/3 weeks ago and it’s back to the same old tricks
OP posts:
lucylucyapplejuicy · 13/02/2022 13:46

'Don't pretend you don't know'

What does she mean? I can't see any issue at all with it

StooriMidori · 13/02/2022 13:47

YANBU. I think it's cute. It's also a much better scenario than two children in my DCs class who are known as the Good Lucy and the Bad Lucy 😳

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 13:47

We’ve got a reply…

… mentioning surnames in a nursery context is inappropriate, too formal and not very welcoming for young children and it’s sad that they’ve picked up on it, shows they aren’t cared for

OP posts:
noirchatsdeux · 13/02/2022 13:48

Ugh. Sounds like the rod up your mum's arse has a rod up it's arse.

What your child and her friend are doing is nice, it's sweet.

Your mother is a racist bitch. Time to go back to no contact, I think.

noirchatsdeux · 13/02/2022 13:49

My reply to that rank idiocy would be two words: Fuck off.

godmum56 · 13/02/2022 13:53

this is a bit of a reach but does she think that your child is growing up gay?

godmum56 · 13/02/2022 13:53

@Namechangetimes100

We’ve got a reply…

… mentioning surnames in a nursery context is inappropriate, too formal and not very welcoming for young children and it’s sad that they’ve picked up on it, shows they aren’t cared for

oh that's even weirder than my reachy suggestion
Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 13:55

@godmum56

this is a bit of a reach but does she think that your child is growing up gay?
Could you clarify a little bit please? Not being goady, I just don’t understand how kids full naming each other could lead to being gay ?
OP posts:
ElegantlyTouched · 13/02/2022 13:55

I'd just reply with a rofl emoji. I mean, what can you

ElegantlyTouched · 13/02/2022 13:55

You say to that???

SpiderVersed · 13/02/2022 13:59

@Namechangetimes100

We’ve got a reply…

… mentioning surnames in a nursery context is inappropriate, too formal and not very welcoming for young children and it’s sad that they’ve picked up on it, shows they aren’t cared for

Your mother is batshit!
godmum56 · 13/02/2022 14:00

@Namechangetimes100

because you said this and I assume you told your Mum?
" they walk around the nursery holding hands and are often in the corner having ‘chin wags’ together"

I did say it was reachy? but something a batshit mother might think?

WeAreTheHeroes · 13/02/2022 14:01

Well given that reply, I'd agree with pps that she's batshit.

buddhasbelly · 13/02/2022 14:04

There was another girl in my dds nursery with the same name... A fairly common name think Sarah. So dd was known as Sarah and the second Sarah that joined known as Sarah P (first initial of surname)

The mother complained and spoke to me saying how inappropriate the nursery was being referring to her dd as Sarah P. Before I had a chance to ask why she said "I can't have my child associated with that" - I stayed silent as had no idea what she was on about. She carried on and said "all anyone will see is Baby P when they see my daughter"

I didn't quite know how to respond. This was 10 years after the horrible death of baby P, we live at the opposite end of the country and her child wasn't a baby boy nor being referred to as Baby P.

People can be v weird OP, ignore your mother.

Brakebackcyclebot · 13/02/2022 14:05

Your mum is batshit crazy.

My son shared an unusual name with a classmate. To make it even more confusing they have the same first name, middle name and their surnames began with the same letter.

And both Mums also have the same name.

They became First name Jones and First name Jackson. I still call DS by the whole lot myself sometimes 🙃

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 14:07

[quote godmum56]@Namechangetimes100

because you said this and I assume you told your Mum?
" they walk around the nursery holding hands and are often in the corner having ‘chin wags’ together"

I did say it was reachy? but something a batshit mother might think?[/quote]
Ah got you!

Well tbh makes more sense than what she’s actually concerned about

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 13/02/2022 14:09

That’s just weird for her reaction.

My dd is in a class with a child the same name. She’s Isabella S and the other child is Isabella C (not real names)

Original poster
Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 14:10

More update … ‘if they want to tell them apart the staff should refer to them by first name and then middle name surname is cold and inappropriate’

What happens if other child doesn’t have a middle name, well she gets to be her the plain name and my child gets the hyphenated name…

Ffs

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 13/02/2022 14:12

Read the whole thread now and it’s definitely racism. She wants your dd to be unusual name and white sounding middle name instead of a complete foreign name