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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not see this as a problem?

107 replies

Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 12:23

Dd is 2 and in nursery. She has a v rare name, never ever heard any other child with it. Funnily enough DDs best friend at nursery, same age same name. Couldn’t make it up, they walk around the nursery holding hands and are often in the corner having ‘chin wags’ together (nursery staff have said). Her mum is lovely too, we’ve become friends…

Anyway to the aibu..

Told my mother this on the phone and she started to get weird. The girls like to play together at nursery so according to the staff often call for each other by using their full names, e.g. Isabella smith come play please (not their names I’m aware Isabella isn’t a rare name, it’s just an example) and then the other will call back ‘ok Isabella George, I’m coming’. I found this the sweetest. Mother dearest not so much and said ‘oh that’s not good at all is it, I’d be putting a stop to that pronto’

I asked her what the problem with that was and she said, don’t pretend you don’t know and then hung up…
I’m severely LC with DM due to constant comments that are sly put downs, especially around parenting.

This is another one of those right? Or am i BU and overreacting?

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 13/02/2022 15:33

I have read the entire thread and to be honest I think your mother is just pulling your string...
She cant actually say anything nice so she says something a little bit off.. a little bit vague.. so you then spend the next 3 weeks trying to make sense of her thought process..

If she couldnt pull this stunt to mess your head she would find another..
The LC should be NC.
She is simply not worth this level of angst.. and your daughter will never miss what she doesnt have..

Walk away.

newnameforthis76 · 13/02/2022 15:57

You have a mixed race daughter and your mother is a racist, so I think NC rather than LC would be the way to go here

Latenightreader · 13/02/2022 16:32

My friend's son's best friend is Chris T which in infant school handwriting meant he sent cards signed 'christ'. I had a friend known as 'Tomb' (Tom B). Primary school naming conventions can be unintentionally funny.

Namechangetimes100 · 13/02/2022 16:51

@Bonbon21

I have read the entire thread and to be honest I think your mother is just pulling your string... She cant actually say anything nice so she says something a little bit off.. a little bit vague.. so you then spend the next 3 weeks trying to make sense of her thought process..

If she couldnt pull this stunt to mess your head she would find another..
The LC should be NC.
She is simply not worth this level of angst.. and your daughter will never miss what she doesnt have..

Walk away.

Think your spot on there @Bonbon21, great point! I’d never made that connection so thank you for your perspective, it makes a lot of sense.

She also made a funny comment on the phone that she couldn’t correctly or really at all pronounce species of dinosaurs and there’s been other comments, like I buy her clothes in the sale, her nursery clothes are supermarket clothes, how ‘sickly’ she is, constant comments to undermine but vague enough to pretend nothing was said. Basically gaslighting.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 13/02/2022 18:02

A 2-year-old hasn't got all her dinosaurs straight? Shame upon you!

Yes, reckon Bonbon21 has nailed it, with the racist aspect also in the mix. And the little girls calling each other by their full names is adorable, obviously (to anyone with a heart). No wonder your brother isn't a nice man, given that example; you did very well growing up like a normal decent person.

iRun2eatCake · 14/02/2022 17:30

@Namechangetimes100

We’ve got a reply…

… mentioning surnames in a nursery context is inappropriate, too formal and not very welcoming for young children and it’s sad that they’ve picked up on it, shows they aren’t cared for

Seriously!!! That is her whole issue!! O..m...g back away from contact. She is completely bonkers.

Such a negative person will just zap your energy

HippyChickMama · 14/02/2022 17:37

Ds (14) has had a friend that he's gone all the way through nursery, primary and now high school with. At nursery his friend and another boy had the same first name so they were known by first name and surname. When ds was little he said his friend name as firstnamesurname as of it was all one word and we still refer to him as this now even though he's the only one with that first name as the other boy went to a different school. Take no notice OP

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