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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How Many Women WFH are Actually Going Back?

105 replies

Lunar27 · 13/02/2022 03:23

Reading the NAMALT thread is depressing as a man but unsurprising, given the lived experience of my wife and stuff I've read elsewhere.

For those currently WFH, AIBU to wonder how many will choose to stay at home to avoid the BS of having to physically share office space with men?

I ask as I recently read an article about WFH and how offices post covid could turn into straight white male spaces. The rationale is that minorities (whether ethnic or sex/gender) generally don't have a great time so many will opt to stay at home. If women do the same (to avoid harassment) then the only group left will be straight white males. This could then set back years of progress as we'd be back to straight white males running things (oh joy).

A doom/gloom prediction perhaps but would be interesting to know if male behaviour will form part of the decision making process.

I'm British but of Chinese origin and am not really looking to go back, bar 1-2 days/week. Fortunately my colleagues are ok so is down to personal preference.

OP posts:
littlese · 13/02/2022 04:08

Probably will just be 1-2 dpw for me tbh

DryOldCaper · 13/02/2022 04:13

Gosh, interesting, I hadn’t heard that.

I am 50:50 in the office / WFH.

As a mother, WFH is so much easier - mornings are such a busy rush trying to get kids ready for school, that not adding a commute in really helps.

It also helps to be able to do a load of washing, whip round with the vacuum cleaner or wipe down the bathroom in a spare minute - so that it doesn’t have to be done in the evening.

Patienceandgrace · 13/02/2022 04:23

I'll be going back to the office 2 days per week, as will the rest of my colleagues.

The last 2 years has actually been quite positive for women where I work with lots of promotions.

EugeniaGrace · 13/02/2022 04:37

I’ve been wfh but trying to go back the 1-2 days a week when wfh is not mandated by the government. There are a few different groups of people going back regularly.

  • the straight white male executive type
  • young people in houseshares
  • mothers, especially those who live local to the office, trying to carve out time with other adults (I.e. away from laundry/hoovering/cooking)

Those coming In only a few days a week often tend to work hard at home (say Monday and Tuesday) and come into the office say Wednesday to take a bit of a break and spend the day catching up with colleagues I.e. answering non-urgent emails which is saved more for days at home. We also spend a lot of the working day in the office on the same conference calls we would be taking from home otherwise rather than face-to-face.

Camomila · 13/02/2022 07:14

I'm back hybrid working, as is DH. We share drop offs/pick ups.

I've never felt like that in my office, most of the people on my floor are young Europeans (making calls abroad) and it feels really friendly.

I've also had a positive experience, came back from mat leave in 2021 and just got a promotion this year (interviewed over teams).

mothers, especially those who live local to the office, trying to carve out time with other adults (I.e. away from laundry/hoovering/cooking)

I'm in this group, love going to Costa and for a wander round Tiger on my lunch break.

SuperSleepyBaby · 13/02/2022 07:21

I don’t think most women in offices face harassment - its generally a pretty safe place to be and you just get on with your work.

Obviously, there are people who face harassment- but i would not imagine this is a big factor for most people in deciding whether to work from home. There are other factors like avoiding the commute & costs associated with that.

user1487194234 · 13/02/2022 07:26

I think there is a serious risk women who WFH will be left behind in the long term

Eucalyptusbee · 13/02/2022 07:31

@user1487194234

I think there is a serious risk women who WFH will be left behind in the long term
100%

Anecdotally from school gates most men going back- women slower to do it: ike to to fit school run in/ do household chores etc when wfh

Traumdeuter · 13/02/2022 07:31

I want to go back for the majority of the time - 3 days in office, 2 days at home - but I have no idea how this will be in reality. I only became a parent during the pandemic so I never had to manage nursery drop-off etc in the past. WFH is much easier for managing a work/life balance but I do find it very isolating and hard to concentrate at home (no dedicated office space, amongst other things) so need to find a good balance.

Eucalyptusbee · 13/02/2022 07:32

Absolutely nothing to do with harassment though!

Littleelffriend · 13/02/2022 07:35

I’m not going back to the office. I only work 3 days a week

MrsTophamHat · 13/02/2022 07:38

I haven't WFH in over a year but if I were, it wouldn't be male behaviour that would stop me returning. It would 100% be for convenience and flexibility.

I don't especially enjoy WFH but it is really convenient while I have young children, and means I need a lot less help from other people.

Squidthing · 13/02/2022 07:40

I'm also in the mother's carving time away from household chores and time in adult company. My husband hasn't been back at all but it's expected he will go back 2 x per week as will I.

I think largely it's massively positive for women in that WFH is not solely seen as a working mother thing at my work now. And also practical too in terms of school runs etc and spiltting the load more easily that way.

FigitBit · 13/02/2022 07:41

I’m opting to stay WFH 90% of the time. It’s just more convenient with juggling school runs etc.

If I were childfree I would choose 50/50 WFH / office

Earlydancing · 13/02/2022 07:50

how many will choose to stay at home to avoid the BS of having to physically share office space with men?
Say what now? What's wrong with working with men? You're a man aren't you? Should I object to working with you? Most men I work with will be white seeing as white people are in the majority and I have no idea what their sexuality is because it's none of my business. And I don't experience harassment at work and, generally I like the people, including men, I work with. I don't get to choose whether I WFH, that's my management's choice, but I'm not giving up my job because there are men about!

Blueberry40 · 13/02/2022 07:50

We were wanted back in the office 3 days per week, after 2 blissful years of WFH and not having to put up with the BS politics and vile racist and chauvinistic behaviour of (some) colleagues. I had been working there for almost a decade.

I chose to leave and retrain in a different career which is more flexible and has opportunity to WFH. Can’t remember a time I have been happier, best decision I ever made and so relieved to be out of that toxic armpit of a workplace.

Boombastic22 · 13/02/2022 07:53

Blimey, extreme post. Most men I work with perfectly pleasant and professional. Like most women. What a generalising and frankly goady post.

pitterpatterrain · 13/02/2022 07:54

They are looking for us to be back in the office 3 days a week but tbh I can’t see myself getting there for a while

I actually think our senior team (less diverse than the rest, often male, often white, SAHM crowd) will probably come in less as they all live further away and have for years sought to avoid the travel

HairyScaryMonster · 13/02/2022 07:55

Our work required a 40/60 split in the office. I'm PT and the way my days work I'm only in 25%. Yes 1000x easier to WFH, I get a lunch break, get to drop my kids at school.

underneaththeash · 13/02/2022 07:56

A lot of my friends are HCP (as am I) so it's made no difference as we can't work from home - it wouldn't be my cup of tea anyway.

The majority of the rest are back in Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday.

Weepingwillows12 · 13/02/2022 07:56

In my personal experience wfh has seen a lot of my male colleagues and friends get more involved with the childcare and housework than before. Lots more men at the school gate and actually lots really enjoying the extra family time. I don't think they seem anymore keen to get back in the office than the women (other than my boss who really misses office working).

stuntbubbles · 13/02/2022 07:59

I’m WFH 99.99% – I opt to pop in a couple of times a year but it’s not required. Make DP going back 1-2 days a week. But the companies/roles mandated our working pattern, not our gender.

I do much prefer WFH purely for reducing the stress of the morning rush: drop-off is miles easier without a commute too. DP is the same: easier to pick up without a commute.

Not sure about this theory, but then again I’m in a very woke company so if so were going back to the office I wouldn’t be thinking about harassment.

BulletTrain · 13/02/2022 08:00

I'm another mum. I have chosen to be in the office apart from in Jan and Feb last yeat when there were no vaccines and the shit was hitting the fan. Half the reason I work is the social interaction.

I'm in financial services but am quite fortunate that most of the men are related to each other so are not arseholes in front of their brother/uncle/son in law. There are also 4 women and 5 men so fairly even.

tootiredtospeak · 13/02/2022 08:01

I am female and have been one of the only people to go in 2 days all the way through. I would happily go in everyday but sat in an empty office doesn't justify the extra cost. For me it's just personal I struggle in the house too much. I need to be out of my home and I dont care who else is in the office male or female it's just nice when anyone else comes in.

PAFMO · 13/02/2022 08:02

@user1487194234

I think there is a serious risk women who WFH will be left behind in the long term
This. What are we actually saying here? That after over a century of wanting to be equal, we've decided we can't hack being equal and would like to stay at home so we don't have to deal with the opposite sex? Or so that we can sort the kids out?