What is your biggest regret in life?

[Teadrinker11]

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

Meeting and marrying my ex. What a waste of my life that was

Spending a chunk of my 20s pining over a man who was almost 20 years older than me, and who treated me badly.

I got a really good civilian job with the police but my then partner wouldn't let me accept the job because my ex husband was a policeman and I guess he thought I'd sleep with the entire force because of that. Was a fascinating role that I would have enjoyed.

Not addressing my anxiety in my teens when I knew it was already a problem. Instead I waited until I was 30, having lived a sort of half life for almost 20 years, missing out on relationships and probably a much better career.

oh gosh but @Changeee15467, presumably you looked proper tidy in the photos, so in another 20 years' time you might be rather pleased to be able to refer people to page 37 of the magazine 😍

Biggest regret is feeling pressurised in my early 30’s to “settle” with a partner I didn’t actually like or enjoy at all! Being a girl that accepted “middle class white male” opinions, the person I settled for basically talked me into it and I was under siege until I submitted. Nightmare.

It taking me until my mid-50s to figure out that everyone else in their careers constantly networks and are incredibly adept at pretending to like all the right people. I've always been open and honest. How could I have been so thick for so long? I wish someone had told me this was what you had to do in order to get on.......

Not taking the opportunity to go to Hong Kong but marry first H instead

Not getting a career before babies. I only worked for five years before I had my kids, in bitty jobs. No regrets about having the kids early but I should have used that time better and focussed on what I wanted to do, as now they're older and I'm free to work full time again, I have no industry to go back to.

Op I have so many regrets and every day I am collecting more because I am unable to change.

you are still young. Very young. Don't waste your time on past regrets but from now on live your life in a way so you don't collect more regrets.

Harriet , I know someone who has recently changed careers and they have tried the old ' networking ' and getting in with the right people approach to get their dream job there and it's all gone wrong.
Your face still needs to fit and it is a case of 'who you know and not what you know. ' you need to also be the right sort of person and they are not in this case.
They are not going to get anywhere where they are at the moment.
It's quite sad really. I wouldn't beat yourself up about this. Life is rarely fair and it's always the nice ones who are overlooked and kicked aside.

Getting with my ex. He didn’t want kids and i wasted 5 years hoping he’d changed his mind.

I’m 32 and would love to be a mom again.

Not appreciating the time I had with my dad and grandparents, now gone. Putting too much of myself into work at the expense of time with my babies when younger. Putting on weight in my late teens that never got lost again, losing fitness gained in my 20s and spending money on taxis and takeaways. Some regrets more poignant than others!

This is my first time posting but I often think that I could have added some value to historical posts so I am going to be brave and add my experience here.

I think regrets are all part of getting older (although 26 is so very young to be regretful). However, some regrets bring about wonderful things into your life.

I lost my mother, father, brother and my only son within a 3 year period. My mother and father died because they were old, my brother died because he was so conceited that he ignored the obvious as it would "never happen to him" and my son died whilst serving with the peace keeping forces in Bosnia - a career choice of his own. As you can imagine, the loss of my son far outweighed the grief that the other three visited on myself and my husband. However, and this is where the positives come from regrets and sadness - we had the most amazing support from many of my son's friends who have now become family to us and we are now god parents to all their children. We are looked after as though we are their own parents. The bonus is that, although we love our god children as though they are grandchildren, we do not have the same responsibility as grandparents. I am 67 and still work full time. My husband came out of the military after 33 years, started his own business and is now semi-retired. As we don't have to worry about providing for family when we pass, we now fly business class on several holidays a year, we both have nice cars and a house that is paid for. I can pay for botox and fillers (greatly needed at my age) and treat my "adopted family" to amazing holidays. My husband and I are in good health, go to the gym 3-4 times a week and he plays golf at other times. What I am trying to say, in a rather clumsy way, is that whatever life throws at you, there is always something further down the line which makes you pick yourself up, brush yourself down and start enjoying what you do have and enjoy every minute of it. Would I prefer to have my son back instead of all the above? In a heartbeat, but that is not going to happen so we find the positives in our life now, of which there are many. Good luck to anyone who is hanging on to their regrets and I hope my post helps in some sort way to move on. (Apologies that I have not used the abbreviations)

Not being with my Dad when he died. I will never get over that.

I really regret not having a profession. I didn't gointo law after my degree. That probably was the right decision, but I just drifted from one job into another and though I did ok, (journalism, telly,) never found any fulfillment. Can't quite believe I'm late 40s and never figured it out.
I think I was too fixated on the perfect thing - when in fact hard work in pursuit of any worthwhile goal isn't wasted, it opens up other routes.

The one that got away me too, despite being happily married now

Not joining a convent when I still could. I’ve always wanted to, and I’ve now got to the stage in life where I could finally pluck up the courage and take the plunge, but I’m married now.

Spending time and energy on useless relatives
Pushing myself into a management job
Not having children sooner

@TopSec

This is my first time posting but I often think that I could have added some value to historical posts so I am going to be brave and add my experience here. I think regrets are all part of getting older (although 26 is so very young to be regretful). However, some regrets bring about wonderful things into your life. I lost my mother, father, brother and my only son within a 3 year period. My mother and father died because they were old, my brother died because he was so conceited that he ignored the obvious as it would "never happen to him" and my son died whilst serving with the peace keeping forces in Bosnia - a career choice of his own. As you can imagine, the loss of my son far outweighed the grief that the other three visited on myself and my husband. However, and this is where the positives come from regrets and sadness - we had the most amazing support from many of my son's friends who have now become family to us and we are now god parents to all their children. We are looked after as though we are their own parents. The bonus is that, although we love our god children as though they are grandchildren, we do not have the same responsibility as grandparents. I am 67 and still work full time. My husband came out of the military after 33 years, started his own business and is now semi-retired. As we don't have to worry about providing for family when we pass, we now fly business class on several holidays a year, we both have nice cars and a house that is paid for. I can pay for botox and fillers (greatly needed at my age) and treat my "adopted family" to amazing holidays. My husband and I are in good health, go to the gym 3-4 times a week and he plays golf at other times. What I am trying to say, in a rather clumsy way, is that whatever life throws at you, there is always something further down the line which makes you pick yourself up, brush yourself down and start enjoying what you do have and enjoy every minute of it. Would I prefer to have my son back instead of all the above? In a heartbeat, but that is not going to happen so we find the positives in our life now, of which there are many. Good luck to anyone who is hanging on to their regrets and I hope my post helps in some sort way to move on. (Apologies that I have not used the abbreviations)

What a wonderful post. I am truly sorry for all the sadness that has come your way. You are absolutely spot on that the things we may regret can lead us into other experiences which we can enjoy.

Your words will stay with me. ❤️

Not keeping my first flat that I got a mortgage for when I was 19. It would have been paid off 10 years ago and worth about 5x what I paid for it. Plus it would have been a handy bolt-hole near my parents.

Not being more clued up on mental illness when my XDP was going through psychosis. Nobody would help. 5 years of hell & 2 more DC later, he left but continued to subject the kids to his delusions for another 4 years until he just disappeared for 3 years. We thought he was dead.
They now see him for 5 hours once a fortnight but their relationship with him will never be the same.

Not listening to my instincts regarding men.
Putting everyone else's needs above my own then worrying about things I'd said or done years later. Others couldn't even remember the events, let alone what I'd said.

Feeling like I'm alone now as a single parent with no chance to meet anyone, at least until the kids get a bit older.
I never planned for this life, I'm stuck in shit rented accommodation with no chance of being able to afford to buy another property or to move because 'my multiples don't add up'.

Imposter syndrome. I went to uni aged 47 & graduated with a good degree but like a PP said, I feel about 10 years behind everyone else in my field. I do know I'm good at what I do but I compare myself to people who have years more experience.

@TopSec

This is my first time posting but I often think that I could have added some value to historical posts so I am going to be brave and add my experience here. I think regrets are all part of getting older (although 26 is so very young to be regretful). However, some regrets bring about wonderful things into your life. I lost my mother, father, brother and my only son within a 3 year period. My mother and father died because they were old, my brother died because he was so conceited that he ignored the obvious as it would "never happen to him" and my son died whilst serving with the peace keeping forces in Bosnia - a career choice of his own. As you can imagine, the loss of my son far outweighed the grief that the other three visited on myself and my husband. However, and this is where the positives come from regrets and sadness - we had the most amazing support from many of my son's friends who have now become family to us and we are now god parents to all their children. We are looked after as though we are their own parents. The bonus is that, although we love our god children as though they are grandchildren, we do not have the same responsibility as grandparents. I am 67 and still work full time. My husband came out of the military after 33 years, started his own business and is now semi-retired. As we don't have to worry about providing for family when we pass, we now fly business class on several holidays a year, we both have nice cars and a house that is paid for. I can pay for botox and fillers (greatly needed at my age) and treat my "adopted family" to amazing holidays. My husband and I are in good health, go to the gym 3-4 times a week and he plays golf at other times. What I am trying to say, in a rather clumsy way, is that whatever life throws at you, there is always something further down the line which makes you pick yourself up, brush yourself down and start enjoying what you do have and enjoy every minute of it. Would I prefer to have my son back instead of all the above? In a heartbeat, but that is not going to happen so we find the positives in our life now, of which there are many. Good luck to anyone who is hanging on to their regrets and I hope my post helps in some sort way to move on. (Apologies that I have not used the abbreviations)

What a lovely post. So sorry for your losses. Your attitude is really commendable and inspiring. You have helped me, thank you.

@LoveFall Glad you found something that works! I'm currently awaiting diagnosis of what is highly likely UC, and I'm practically housebound with it, so debilitating and limiting.

@PickledOnionSandwich

My husband was my first boyfriend and we dated for two years. I got cold feet when I was 18 and ended it in a car park. We both went in the marry the most God awful people who treated us terribly. I got out after 3 years but it took him 11. I think it’s always harder for the man as they don’t want to leave the kids. Anyway, we finally got back together and have been married nearly 5 years now and together 7. We actually went to said car park for the first time in 27 years recently and it was quite emotional for both of us. I saw the bay where I dumped him and couldn’t stop thinking ‘what if’? I would have loved for us to have had children but it will never happen now. That’s my biggest regret and it’s all my own fault.

Oh gosh @PickledOnionSandwich... but what a happy ending!

Not buying a cheap house young. Building equity and climbing the ladder. When we jumped on we had 3.kids already and so many expenses saving was hard. Should have done it before all of that.