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Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
blueoranges · 14/02/2022 23:29

Blew almost all of our savings on our dream wedding instead of using it to get on the property ladder.
I could cry now thinking on how how much money we wasted, yes it was an amazing day but we could have been in a different situation now.
120 guests and I could count on two hands who actually makes an effort and we are still in contact with. It's sad really but we were young and naive.
We're now in a completely different financial situation, covid hit us hard, So haven't been able to build savings back up to anywhere near what they were.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing...

SinisterBumFacedCat · 14/02/2022 23:32

Yes, not having enough sex with more people and not starting earlier!

Monopolyiscrap · 14/02/2022 23:41

Waiting to have children. Wish I had them younger.
Breastfeeding my first child. I spent months and months cluster feeding i.e. sitting on the couch and watching TV. I feel I did not actually get to enjoy my first baby. My overwhelming memory is of watching crap TV with very tired arms and sore nipples.
Being too shy.

Pinklemonade1 · 14/02/2022 23:50

Leaving school after lower 6th as I couldn't bear the thought of ONE MORE YEAR at school! 😵‍💫... If only I knew that one year goes by in about 5 minutes now I'm a grown up. 😩

Lilybow · 14/02/2022 23:52

Worrying too much about what other people think and being a people pleaser.
Staying in relationships much longer than I should have due to bad self esteem and self worth.
Not being better with money when I was a lot younger.

Biggest regret - letting my self esteem stand in the way of pursuing my dream career.

Lolo2021 · 14/02/2022 23:54

Don't be too hard on yourself. You sound like a great mom and your children will see that. Hang in there and believe

kermitswig · 15/02/2022 00:10

Sleeping with 99% of the blokes I've been with
Putting my life and priorities to one side for whatever bloke I was with at the time
Having an affair
Not going travelling/moving abroad when younger
Not working in the travel industry
Wasting my years my early 20s with a loser guy
The £2k balance on my store card -I don't wear any of the clothes/shoes now, they were stupid purchases and not thought through. I'm never using the card again
Weight gain
Picking my skin when I had acne when younger
All the money I've wasted on crap over the years

BaronessBomburst · 15/02/2022 00:12

Not snogging the Italian fireman on the overnight train between Florence and Milan in September 1989. I thought my friend might wake up and judge me.
I suppose there's worse things to regret. Grin

ButtercupOfFlorin · 15/02/2022 00:13

Maintaining a friendship with a selfish person who was very toxic, it ended very very badly with consequences I can’t even think about let alone say out loud. I should have listened to my gut and ditched her

PizzaCrust · 15/02/2022 00:22

Not seeking help for and ever meeting the person who SA me.

I went from a first class university student with ambition and support to go on and do my masters, and hopefully a PhD into a girl who suffered with severe anxiety and depression, who barely worked for nearly 2 years after graduation because I couldn’t handle any amount of pressure. I’d just crumble.

I got a dead end job in retail as I knew it was probably all I could handle. But, then I met my partner, had two beautiful babies, bought a house and I’m now working in a management position with flexible hours so I can be at home with my two toddlers as much as I want.

I hate that man with every part of me, but I came out the other side. I still hope he has a miserable, lonely existence, though. Prick.

1000yellowdaisies · 15/02/2022 00:33

When i was 21 i met my first serious boyfriend. We broke up after 2.5 years living together.... we were split up for 6 months after which we got back together for another 2-3 years.
I always regret going back it was such a mistake. I ended up spending 5 or so years of my life with one of the most worthless men on planet earth

FireMeetGasoline · 15/02/2022 00:48

Not being vegan 15 years earlier

MulticolourTulips · 15/02/2022 01:07

Sleeping with most of the men I slept with in my 20s when my self esteem was terrible

I've only ever slept with 2 men, and I married both. I regret that I had such a victorian upbringing that sex was considered dirty and only the loosest women would have sex before marriage.
Iwas programmed that it was worst thing I could ever do.

Looking back, I wish I'd had sex with more men. Not lots. But not been brainwashed into thinking it was trashy.

Sunnytwobridges · 15/02/2022 01:39

Not answering the phone the last time my first BF called me

Going to uni as it didn’t pay off

Letting my parents influence me instead of following my heart

FictionalCharacter · 15/02/2022 01:42

I regret drifting in my career and not planning better. I could have achieved so much more. Too late now because I’m near retirement.

mamabear715 · 15/02/2022 05:32

Not learning to drive. I would have SO much more independence. (Bit old now.)
Hurting people. Nothing huge or deliberate, just hate the thought.
Not realising that people who were older and wiser, weren't. There are dim people in every generation & I should trust myself!
Being 'childish' is actually a GOOD thing! Try & laugh every day. :-)

maybloss2 · 15/02/2022 08:25

Hi op, you are young and yr regrets are not about huge mistakes. I’d say don’t get ‘involved’ with anyone cos yr don’t want to be on yr own. You sound as though you’ve already moved things for yourself in a positive direction. Remember that everyone makes mistakes- the trick is to not compound them, but to turn and face it, work it out and move on. It’s difficult to predict how things will turn out, so being afraid of regrets can make for a cheerless life. Try to live a good day now, so the next is less likely to be a bad one. Xx

Bagelsandbrie · 15/02/2022 08:29

@mamabear715

Not learning to drive. I would have SO much more independence. (Bit old now.) Hurting people. Nothing huge or deliberate, just hate the thought. Not realising that people who were older and wiser, weren't. There are dim people in every generation & I should trust myself! Being 'childish' is actually a GOOD thing! Try & laugh every day. :-)
You are never too old to learn to drive. My ex mil learnt when she was 65.
Mummyof287 · 15/02/2022 09:02

@BaronessBomburst

Not snogging the Italian fireman on the overnight train between Florence and Milan in September 1989. I thought my friend might wake up and judge me. I suppose there's worse things to regret. Grin
Haha that's great! 🤣
ladygindiva · 15/02/2022 09:24

i don't do regrets. Every decision I've made has led me to where I am now, and I'm okay with that even if things I did seemed dumb or reckless at the time.

Fetchthevet · 15/02/2022 09:52

I envy the people that say they don't do regrets, as I can't seem to help having them. I regret being so naive and stupid that I always thought life would improve after I left school. I was bought up with religion and believed that God was good. I honestly thought after being so badly abused by my family, and bullied at school, that I would meet kinder people when I went to work. Of course I didn't, I just continued being bullied at work, probably bought on by my timidity and low self esteem. I always thought God would 'send' me someone kind. I thought life would even itself out somehow. Now I'm older and don't believe in anything, I can't believe how stupid I was. I'm still stupid in lots of other ways and I still do and say things I regret all the time. I'm just crap at making decisions.

Alcemeg · 15/02/2022 09:52

@AcrossthePond55

Buying an old farmhouse. Money pit and now that we're ready to downsize we'll play merry hell trying to sell it. Due to not being up to certain current building codes it'll have to be a 'cash sell'.
Oh yes, I feel for you. I've done this twice!!!!!!!!! You'd think once would be enough! I have definitely learned my lesson...

My regret is selling the dear little house I had on the UK south coast. After the post-COVID "race for space" it's now worth more than double what I sold it for, so I could never afford to go back, and I miss the place. I'm also scared of being locked out of the UK (now living abroad) by the rapid price increases there. I've had a bonfire with my life savings. If I still had that house, I could retire now and live off the rental income, instead of scrabbling around for ideas to funds my retirement!

That said, if I hadn't moved from there 10 years ago I'd never have met my lovely DH#2, so it's all swings and roundabouts 💕 and happiness in life has a lot to do with what you choose to focus on.

RedRobyn2021 · 15/02/2022 09:53

If you think about it the real time you're wasting is the time you're spending regretting the past. Life is not some race, you're young and have plenty of time ahead of you, get on and focus on the now.

wealllovepj · 15/02/2022 09:59

@MulticolourTulips

Sleeping with most of the men I slept with in my 20s when my self esteem was terrible

I've only ever slept with 2 men, and I married both. I regret that I had such a victorian upbringing that sex was considered dirty and only the loosest women would have sex before marriage.
Iwas programmed that it was worst thing I could ever do.

Looking back, I wish I'd had sex with more men. Not lots. But not been brainwashed into thinking it was trashy.

I could have written this post My parents made me think that sex ( especially before marriage ) was just bad and I had so many hang ups I've only ever slept with one person and I do regret this.
ThomasinaGallico · 15/02/2022 10:02

I don’t allow myself to dwell on it too much, but I wish I hadn’t hung on so long to the first boyfriend I had at uni. We were good friends and shared music and laughs together, but I wish I could have known to break up with him properly once I realised he didn’t actually fancy me that much. I also regret staying in halls all 3 years instead of moving out somewhere else in the final year and getting breathing space and a chance to get my head straight. I regret not seeking help for what I now realise was crippling anxiety causing me to miss deadlines and lectures. I got my degree, but not as good a grade as I should (however 11 people failed outright that year, so I guess things could have been worse).