Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
user47000000000 · 14/02/2022 22:05

Not moving to Australia to pursue a relationship when i was 23 cause I was afraid to leave my good job

Mummyof287 · 14/02/2022 22:06

@Miserablelife

I regret the majority of decisions I have made as at 42 I have a miserable, joyless existence and I just hate every aspect. Escalating health problems I m too scared to get looked at, mental and physical, no friends, no family that care, a horrible toxic ‘relationship’.and a job I despise. We live in a nasty damp scruffy house, that makes me cry every day with no savings, no pension and I have no hope of turning it around at my age. My DC are the only decision I don’t regret but they would have been better born to someone else. I wish I d made better relationship, career and financial choices in my earlier life and I will do all I can to make sure my kids do.
Oh @Miserablelife that sounds tough...some people really do get alot of bad luck and it isn't fair.I hope you are able to find the strength to speak to a medical professional soon about your mental health, so that you hopefully don't have to continue living in misery and can find a way out of the dark hole you are in, to be able to turn things around xx
TakeSomeMoreTea · 14/02/2022 22:09

I didn't sort my pension till later BIG MISTAKE so when I pay my mortgage off at 50 will have to save a lot.

I don't regret rubbish relationships as I'm happy later on with DH, DS & SSD's

I could have done so much better at school so had to study later on in life.

TakeSomeMoreTea · 14/02/2022 22:11

SSD's should mean DSD's as in Step Daughters.

Mummyof287 · 14/02/2022 22:14

@Blossomtoes

That I didn’t see my stillborn son. I was whisked off to ITU and everyone was more concerned I was going to die too. I’ll never know what he looked like.
Oh @Blossomtoes that's heartbreaking...I'm so sorry :( Life is so cruel sometimes
Melx42 · 14/02/2022 22:18

Cheating on my first husband. He is a good man and a great dad. This was 30+ years ago and we are still friends but I hate that I was so awful

Verbena17 · 14/02/2022 22:19

Don’t have regrets!!
If you’re in a good place now, then you might not have been if things had played out differently.

I sometimes wonder what if I had gone to France to be an English teacher which had been my orignal plan but if I had done that, I most probably wouldn’t have my exact same children I have now.

There is no point regretting anything. Everything can be a learnt experience - either for the good or bad. But try not to regret things.

At only 26, you can definitely still start having the ‘time of your life’ now!

DrawFile · 14/02/2022 22:23

I'm currently 25, I MOSTLY don't really regret my life choices, because I am who I am now, and have what I have.

But there are things I wish I did differently.

I wish I didn't buy my first house at 23. I would've been in a much better position had I just waited, and now I am buying my second house (at 25) I can't use that help to buy loan.

I've only had one boyfriend who I am marrying and we've been together a decade. I would've liked to have dated other guys first (but would've liked to have married my current partner any way regardless)

I wish I did better in school. I wasted my time after school trying to rectify all the wrongs, which did work, and I now have a better job than anyone I know, it just would've saved me a lot of hard work had I just done it first time around without resitting my exams.

I wonder if things would've been easier if I had my child once I was properly established in a job. Although saying that, things have always been comfortable.

I regret going to uni. I did well, got a 1st. But my job is completely unrelated, making the debt pointless.

I wish I never bought a sports car as my first car. I crashed it into my dad's kitchen.

#(2) I wish I never bought a sports car as my first car. Blew all my savings to find that I was then pregnant 3 months later and stuck with a 2 seater car that I couldn't physically get into.

I wish that when my mum was dying of cancer when I was 9, that my parents were just straight with me. I knew what was going on, but no one would be open with me as I was a child. Maybe they saved me from grieving whilst she was alive, and maybe we spent more quality time together in that period, but there's things I would've asked or done if I knew for definite that our time was limited. Miss her beyond belief.

D0lphine · 14/02/2022 22:31

I regret not seeking help for mental health problems sooner.

I went through a period of extremely bad mental health in my late 20s. Looking back I should have asked family for more help and taken time off work. Hallucinating isn't fun!

CockingASnook · 14/02/2022 22:33

Not seeing Daft Punk live.

RockyReef · 14/02/2022 22:35

Not revising for my A Levels / putting in enough work so gaining mediocre degrees when I am more than capable of getting much higher marks.

Gaining weight after having my babies.

Never learning to do a cartwheel, and now in my 40s I'm not sure I ever will.

Mummyof287 · 14/02/2022 22:40

-Not allowing my parents to help me buy a house several years ago when me and DH worked full time before we had DCs and now won't have the income for ages.
-Wasting too much money on buying different cars when I was younger.
-Sleeping with too many idiots
-Taking drugs.
-Not treating a close friend well enough which resulted in her cutting me out of her life.

  • Not seeing my dad enough in the last months and days of his life.

But my main regret will always be deciding to throw caution to the wind and coming off contraception the christmas before we got married, instead of waiting until afterwards to start trying.
3 months later on our wedding day I was in the middle of losing triplets, after finding out I'd had a missed miscarriage during our 12wk scan the day before.

Our memories of our wedding day will always be bittersweet now :(

Milomonster · 14/02/2022 22:45

To not have listened to my parents when they advised me my ex was no match for me. They were right.

NinaDefoe · 14/02/2022 22:46

You can’t change the past so just learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.
I’m getting on a bit now and every thing I did/didn’t do is an experience or lesson.

NinaDefoe · 14/02/2022 22:47

I do/ don’t do ?

Mummabear89 · 14/02/2022 22:49

Not a regret because I did what was best at the time but leaving my children with my ex partner was the most difficult thing I have ever done and its still biting me in the bum now. I was in a terrible place mental health wise and needed to work on sorting out my head. In reality I should have kicked my ex out and stayed in the horrible house we lived in at least then I would still have them full time and wouldn't be fighting to see them

Usernamepleasework · 14/02/2022 22:56

Biggest regrets…

Not getting teeth removed that need removed and braces on when I was offered them for free on the nhs WHYYYYY DID I NOT GO AHEAD WITH THIS :(

Using sun beds and smoking from the age of 16 until 20 odd

Now in my late 30’s trying to fix the damage I have done to my health and skin :(

Botox and looking into paying for adult braces costing a fortune for silly decisions I made in my teens and 20s

Biscuitsneeded · 14/02/2022 23:03

I don't regret much. I haven't led a charmed life and I certainly made some mistakes, but if I hadn't made the decisions I did I wouldn't have the kids I have now, or live in the city I love or have the friends I have. No point regretting what isn't - just trying to enjoy what is, as I turn 50 this year and figure things could, in some ways, be better, but they could also be a whole lot worse.

PrinnyPree · 14/02/2022 23:16

Seriously now I've had my baby I certainly don't regret anything I did or didn't do before he was conceived 2 and a half years ago and I'm 39 now. I look at it as butterfly effect and any change may have resulted in him not being conceived.

Before he was born there was obviously missed opportunities career or money wise but then those lead to decisions where I ended up making new brilliant friends.

I'm not well off but I'm comfortable and I've had a good life (at least in my adult years since leaving home at 19) so I'm just really thankful to be in a position where I own a modest house and have a loving husband and beautiful child.

This isn't meant to sound boastful OP just that you are so young and you don't know what is round the next corner, I may have missed career opportunities but could have ended up in a job where I was bullied or far away from my husbands job which might have strained our relationship, I might have stretched and bought a bigger house whilst they were cheaper but my neighbours might have been hellish or ended up on a road that was less safe for my cat.

Ddot · 14/02/2022 23:16

Not having children, too late now

Catra · 14/02/2022 23:17

Wasting time, especially in my twenties - on dead-end relationships and not pushing myself career-wise, mainly due to low self-esteem.

Getting into a mountain of debt overcompensating for feeling unfulfilled and bored due to said bad relationships and feeling stuck in a job I hated.

All that changed in my 30s when I met my husband, went back to university to do a masters, found a line of work I love and had my daughter.

It took me until 42 to pay off my debts and although I know comparison is the thief of joy, it's hard when I look at what other people with my potential have achieved and I feel about 10 years behind.

Closetbeanmuncher · 14/02/2022 23:18

Staying with dcs dad for way longer than I should have.

Goatling · 14/02/2022 23:19

Marrying the most useless moron I'm stuck with now.

CovidCath · 14/02/2022 23:23

Teadrinker11 sorry to be the voice of doom but at your age you are likely to make many mistakes or decisions you may regret in the years ahead. Asking other people won’t protect you from those things as your mistakes will creep up and bite you on the bum when you least expect it. However, the good news is that mistakes can be seen as part of your journey and without them you’ll make different decisions etc etc. Ultimately, mistakes don’t matter one bit. What matters is how you recover from them. Don’t try to be perfect- just roll with it 😉.

Tiddlywinkly · 14/02/2022 23:27

Honestly? Not sleeping with more people before I settled down.

Not appreciating the short time I had with my grandparents and that once they are gone, that's it.