What is your biggest regret in life?

[Teadrinker11]

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

It's weird seeing so many people say they regret not buying a property or doing it sooner. I bought my house when I was 20 and I regret it. I missed out being in my early twenties with no responsibilities and went straight to being a homeowner. I was with my ex at the time but now I'm alone at 26 and a three bed house almost feels too much for me - I kind of want a cozy little flat!!! Obviously I know getting on the ladder young is a good thing but I do feel I rushed into it.

So to summarise, don't regret the things that give you joy and try to pay your credit card or overdraft off every month and your life will be absolutely fabulous!

Not listening to my instincts when it came to decision making. Making decisions that I knew were wrong at the time and I knew I would regret, but being too cowardly/afraid of hurting others to make the right but difficult choice. This is why when people say 'you did what you thought was right at the time' I don't find it comforting at all, because generally I knew I was making the wrong choice.

A good quote from Viktor Frankl I wish I'd paid more attention to: 'Live your life as if you're living it for the second time, and avoiding making the mistakes you made the first time around'.

Moving 5 hrs away (by car) from my parents and where I was born, to find a job after uni.

45 years on, I'm trying to see my elderly parents and care for my own family.

I also feel I have no real connection where I live, no history, no extended family network. I've never felt 'settled' or that I belong.

Not moving to another country when it would have been easy to do so. By the time I realised how badly I wanted it life circumstances had changed so much it just wasn't possible anymore.

Career wise I should have gone into teaching
Money wise started a pension earlier
Relationship wise ended things much sooner with ex DP

Not having more kids. I could have more now but it would be too many under 5s at once.
Not being braver in career choices.
Not travelling more pre kids.
Not eating so much sugar!

Not going to do Camp America when I was 19 because I worried I would miss my new boyfriend.

Letting people with fewer skills and lower intelligence walk all over me in work.

Putting work before family for all of those years.

Staying with my abusive ex boyfriend for too long. We got together when I was 13-21 he was 4 years older and I missed on on so much of my youth. I lost all my friends though it.
I’m lucky that I’ve managed to rebuild most of my life but I miss what I missed.

Having no career

That I still can’t afford a nose job!

Moving to a place I knew no-one and leaving a place I loved and felt completely at home. Not realising that in my 20s (pre kids) I was completely free to move back - I never did, had kids here, still miss there.

I regret not hugging my Mum when I dropped her off home. She passed away in her sleep, that night. I now hug everyone good bye.

@EmpressSuiko

That I still can’t afford a nose job!

Get a loan! I paid back my braces at about 90 a month for three years. Wasn't to bad.

Mind you , my daughter and I watch Peaky Blinders and both agree that Annabel Wallace shouldn't have had a nose job. She looked like an actress before her nose job and now she looks like an identikit instagrammer girl.

I grew up in a doomsday religion being told the world was going to end at any minute. As a result I didn't get grades at school and did menial jobs. I went to uni as an adult but didn't finish ny 3rd year getting a dip HE but never quite meeting the Hons required for a serious career. I have done everything in reverse, having failed marriages and no sense of permanence. Finally aged 45 I am doing my 3rd year, have been married for 11 years and have 3 amazing kids (1 about to do masters and another a 1st year at uni).
My regret? I didn't have therapy until I was 43 and I should have cut contact with my toxic family years before. But as much as I can look back and wish if only, I am here now right where I should be and that is what counts.

Nothing, I've been very lucky.

@UserBotLurking9to5 I wish I could! I’d need to borrow around 7-10k prices are crazy in the UK for a good surgeon, even Turkey has started to charge insane prices and I can’t afford a loan like that :(

Trusting my ex husband, father of my children.

Not focusing more on my studies when younger. Though this one pales in comparison to my first.

You totally have it together, btw, if you are this reflective at 26. Don’t be hard on yourself, set some goals and remember to have fun along the way.

[quote EmpressSuiko]@UserBotLurking9to5 I wish I could! I’d need to borrow around 7-10k prices are crazy in the UK for a good surgeon, even Turkey has started to charge insane prices and I can’t afford a loan like that :([/quote]
Yikes, that 's a lot. I'd have it in the UK or not at all if you do do it. I'd have such anxiety about getting things done ''abroad''. Some thing very minor could be a post-op complication, easy to explain in your home country but could turn in to something worse when the surgeon hasn't time to go back and correct and is on to the next patient who has flown over for her slot.

@AgeingDoc

Not getting into the car immediately when my Dad phoned in the night to say that my Mum's condition had taken a turn for the worse. He told me not to drive through the night but by morning she had died and I never got to say goodbye.

So sorry @AgeingDoc...My heart goes out to you as I had similar with my dad last year.I didn't visit him in hospital much in the months before his death as I was pregnant/had just given birth and was scared of the Covid risks for me & baby. Then the hospital stopped visitors just as i was about to go and see him, and a week later, on the morning he was due to come home and meet my baby for the first time, he died of heart failure.I knew he was ill but not that ill :(

@Nadjahomesoil

Sleeping with most of the men I slept with in my 20s when my self esteem was terrible.

@Nadjahomesoil God me too...that is so relatable

@Cofifeefee I completely disagree - regrets are part of being human. Accept them, learn and do t let them drive the car!! I regret wasting time on pointless go nowhere relationships.

I didn't pursue my passion to read medicine

Not a lot really. I regret things I haven’t done more than things I’ve done. I regret saying some hurtful words to some people and I wish I could take them back. But the choices that I made have brought me to where I am at 52 and I’m pretty happy with how my life is shaping up. I could regret not working hard at school. However I’ve made up for that now with a first class degree with the OU and I am finally embarking on the career I maybe should have started years ago but then I wouldn’t be the same person that has brought me to where I am today. I am half-way through my teacher training and I finally have a career that wakes me up and makes me spring out of bed at 6am thinking bring it on!! 20 odd years ago I don’t know if that person would have done that. I took 17 odd years to get to this stage - mainly becoming a single mother (always) to my amazing now 19 year old son. Becoming his mother transformed me the most. Everything happens for a reason. No point in regrets. But if you don’t like part of your life, then change it.