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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
Mandyjack · 14/02/2022 19:13

I started a computer programming course age 18 and never finished it and wish I had or that I'd done more to get a decent career. Feel like a failure as not achieved much in life. Now in my 50s I'm married with a child but I'm in a low grade admin job. I also wish I'd bought some bitcoin when it first came out!
You are still very young OP and have time to turn your life around. I'd say invest in property if you can & rent it out so you have an investment for when you are older

PupInAPram · 14/02/2022 19:14

@Toanewstart23

I came on to this thread Read a few Began to wonder about my biggest regret and then thought….

WTAF

I’m happy
I’m healthy
My children are happy and healthy
My son is really excited about a football match he’s in this afternoon
My daughter and I have some baking planned
And life is good…. So why would I actively bring myself down by picking my brain for my biggest regret?!

I suggest others do the same

@Toanewstart23 some of the stories on this thread are heartbreaking. Your suggestion speaks a very low emotional IQ. Do you not think it helps people who have suffered to know they have been heard?
Hollowtree3 · 14/02/2022 19:15

marrying my sensible, (boring) and now I know autistic and afraid of change, ex-DH. Also I think he was more that a bit controlling. nightmare.

Jewel52 · 14/02/2022 19:16

Agree with those who say get on with it, look forward and accept the decisions you made in the past based on who you were and what you knew then. I too stayed in a crappy marriage for too many years but I traveled loads, had wonderful experiences and 3 great kids. And i’m Not dead yet so it’s all good Smile

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 14/02/2022 19:26

@Teadrinker11

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?
You are young - you have the majority of your life ahead of you. You've learnt from the past, shut the door on those regrets and move on to the rest of life and all the good things it will contain.
Esspee · 14/02/2022 19:30

@Jellycat. Do not despair of finding someone at your age. I used OLD and ended up meeting my OH. Since then we have had a wonderful life together. I wish the same for you.

Hermione101 · 14/02/2022 19:31

Biggest regret is moving to the U.K., stuck here for a while longer. I daydream every day of going back home.

No other regrets.

haveyouopenedyourbowelstoday · 14/02/2022 19:31

No regrets as whatever choices or things I have or haven't done have led me to being a happy, loved and fulfilled 52 year old.
But, I should have had more fun, cared less about what others thought of me and realised my parents had more issues than I'd ever realised.

Sarbears28 · 14/02/2022 19:32

No regrets as everything I've done and been through has made me the person I am today, even all the pain and indecision...I also didnt go to college or university straight from school and had a few years of socialising having a lot of fun, in dead end jobs, travelling. Then started college at 25 for 1yr and went to university and started my adult life at 29....no regrets. Happy I did it this way and had no real responsibility (mortgage/children) young. I didn't even learn to drive until I was 25.

Mulhollandmagoo · 14/02/2022 19:34

Honestly, all the years I spent trying to 'fit in' and worrying about what other people thought of me! I'm alright me, and if someone doesn't think so that's their problem not mine!

Marden11302 · 14/02/2022 19:34

Not trying harder in school, and now I’m only qualified to do a job I hate

TicTac80 · 14/02/2022 19:42

I wish I had knuckled down, saved more and looked at buying a property in my early 20s (I'm 41 now). Having said that, if I'd done that, it would be very likely that I'd have to have sold the place to give my XH some money. So, good job I didn't do that really!

I would say that I regret being with my ex's....but then I wouldn't have my children...and I wouldn't change them for the world.

I think my big regrets are more that I didn't stand up for myself more when I was younger, and I didn't walk away/end things sooner with the ex's. I should have done that. I wish I did that.

HappyDays40 · 14/02/2022 19:47

My biggest regret it regretting my regrets. OP you are so young enjoy your lovely life.

VK456 · 14/02/2022 19:48

Marrying at 21. How bloody stupid.

CatRamsey · 14/02/2022 19:49

OP I've only read the first post but I'm the same age as you and feel exactly the same. I spent 18-22 in a relationship trying to settle down and play happy families with the wrong guy, experienced fertility issues which was heartbreaking at the time but am now so thankful I never had a child with him!! 22-26 I've spent depressed, morbidly obese and just hating myself in general, and now I feel like the fun part of my twenties that everyone talks about being 'the best years of your life' are over and I've missed out and wasted it all. Even after the relationship at 22, why couldn't I have screwed my head back on then?!
I know everyone will say we're young but 27 sounds scary and I don't want to look back when I'm 30 and say I wasted my whole 20s.
Also I still would really like to meet someone and settle down but there's no chance of that happening the way I am now, and with my previous fertility issues I'm worried about leaving it too late x

KloppsTeeth · 14/02/2022 19:58

Wasted most of my 20s on a crap bloke I wouldn’t look twice at now.

I regret not joining the Police, which I wanted to do.

I regret not watching my weight and exercising enough before weight crept on and PCOS made it worse.

I regret giving too many fucks about things that don’t matter.

tiktokontheclock · 14/02/2022 19:59

Staying in my first job for 2-3 years longer than I should have. It massively put me back in salary and title.

Kazzyhoward · 14/02/2022 19:59

Trying to fit in. Now in my 50s, it's been liberating to learn to not give a stuff about what other people think and to do my own thing and what I want to.

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 14/02/2022 19:59

@formalineadeline You lived for a reason. Feel free to PM me if you need a chat xx

marktayloruk · 14/02/2022 20:00

Never being a normal.person.

Dibbydoos · 14/02/2022 20:01

@Cofifeefee

No point in having regrets. You can't go back in time and thinking about them keeps you in the past rather than acting in the present for the good of your future.
Completely agree. No time to look back, learn from your past but look forward always. Onwards and upwards.

BTW OP you didn't waste those years, you needed to experience them to be where uou are now.

Ruthietuthie · 14/02/2022 20:02

I was unfaithful to my lovely university boyfriend. I treated him terribly. He was a wonderful person and nothing but kind to me.
I see now that I did it because I was, mentally, a mess. But I am still haunted by how I hurt him 25 years later.

Qwill · 14/02/2022 20:06

Making the most of my 20s/30s being free and independent. Staying in relationships that had run their course by being scared to be on my own. I had a great time with friends, but spent too much time in relationship arguments. ideally, I would have been free and single and got further in my job whilst still having fun, then children in my late 30s. It’s easy to say now though, I don’t think you should regret anything, even the crap times teach you things and I do love my life now!

Llamallamadingdong · 14/02/2022 20:11

Not going to medical school, waaaaay to old to do it now (I’m 37).

I also regret the fact I went through my teens and twenties with a serious undiagnosed mental illness. My parents and teachers labelled me as “difficult”. Getting professional help in my early thirties was a revelation and getting the right medication has made such a difference.

I also regret many of the boyfriends I had in my twenties. I felt so awful about myself that I didn’t think I was worthy of love/a decent relationship and so ended up with a succession of abusive arseholes.

Mummyto2rugrats · 14/02/2022 20:11

No regrets though doing things the way I did was tougher and not ideal I have a job I enjoy to beautiful though sometimes argumentative regrets and a dh that only occasionally gets on my nerves.

I tell a lie only regret is I'm law abiding and have a conscience so can't do anything about the t**ty conman builder

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