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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
Synchrony · 14/02/2022 18:37

University. If I relived my life I'd do a different degree, probably at a different university, do different extracurricular activities and with a year abroad.

Not going to see my Dad the last time I visited my home town. He died later that week.

Not telling my ex's mother what I thought of her (she was a psycho witch who manipulated my ex in to breaking up with me and he later had a nervous breakdown because of her). I held back, because I didn't want to lose my ex, but I lost him anyway. Sometimes I imagine what I'd say to her if I met her now.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 14/02/2022 18:38

@CowCuddler

Oh, and not having a shit load more sex at every opportunity Grin
yes I should have done that when I actually wanted it and had a libido!
Barbarolo · 14/02/2022 18:39

Not seeing how selfish and self-serving some family members were early on, and allowing them to guilt me into living THEIR life, not mine. Time is lost and I’ll never be able to do the things I was capable of. 😢

Roxy69 · 14/02/2022 18:40

Not losing weight when I was young and it was easy.

LemonadePockets · 14/02/2022 18:40

I threw away my chance of genuine, proper happiness & I’ll never get it back

wellstopdoingitthen · 14/02/2022 18:41

Not pushing for what I wanted to do. My parents were very old fashioned, I wasn't allowed to stay on at school even though my head teacher begged me to. Left school & home the same weekend & moved in with a relative to find work. Then met a bloke (who went on to batter me) & started on the mortgage treadmill.
If I had my time again I would stay on at school, go to university (it was free in my day) then travel for a few years.
I don't regret my marriage (to a wonderful man) or children at all but I do think I did what everyone else wanted. I encourage my children to live their life to the full.

user1487755366 · 14/02/2022 18:41

Not telling my NM to F off when I cut contact and waiting as long as I did to do it.

RaraRachael · 14/02/2022 18:43

Listening to my toxic, narcissistic mother and letting her rule my life, even when I was married and had moved away.

Horrible, horrible woman and I'm glad she's dead.

Payitforward55 · 14/02/2022 18:44

Honestly can't think of one regret at 47 but I do wish I could shake anxiety, I have never been depressed and am really happy and grateful for what i have in life but I just can't shake anxiety enough to fully enjoy it.

SleepyRoo · 14/02/2022 18:44

This thread is a hard read.

Pipsquiggle · 14/02/2022 18:46

Getting a perm and a shellsuit in the early 90s

BajaBaja · 14/02/2022 18:47

Spending too many years socialising, going out and leaving it quite late to have a child. Wish I’d done it years earlier.

VioletBlanche · 14/02/2022 18:48

Not telling someone safe about my dad's abuse. To be fair, I thought it was normal and police and social services already knew all there was to know but it didn't warrant moving forward.

Ivegottagoforaliedown · 14/02/2022 18:48

I regret not doing a degree in medicine. I'm 31 now and had a baby last year. Too late for me I think!

I regret spending 9 years with my ex boyfriend from age 16, he was a twat.

Mojomarvel · 14/02/2022 18:49

Not meeting my DH and having my child sooner. Too many years wasted on wrong men and friends who turned out not to be real friends…42 now, with a supportive DH, a gorgeous healthy DS, a career I love (most days) and a more select and supportive network of friends and family. I think sometimes you have to have made shit decisions to appreciate the good 😊

Barbarolo · 14/02/2022 18:50

@Blossomtoes

That I didn’t see my stillborn son. I was whisked off to ITU and everyone was more concerned I was going to die too. I’ll never know what he looked like.
That’s so sad. So sorry for your loss @Blossomtoes 💐
Autumnscene · 14/02/2022 18:50

Regret nothing, it’s all part of life’s rich tapestry.

Overtired201984 · 14/02/2022 18:50

❤️ sending you love , please if you feel that way ,talk to someone , even if it’s your doctor ❤️

Theforest · 14/02/2022 18:51

My dad died before my son was born

Overtired201984 · 14/02/2022 18:51

@formalineadeline - this was for you ❤️

Blossomtoes · 14/02/2022 18:52

@Overtired201984

❤️ sending you love , please if you feel that way ,talk to someone , even if it’s your doctor ❤️
Thank you. I’ve done my talking, he’d have been 45 this year.
Ludo19 · 14/02/2022 18:53

Being born.
Would've saved being brought into a toxic environment by parents who hated each other. Bullied through school and toxic relationships resulting in ptsd.
Yip being born is my regret.

Balonziaga · 14/02/2022 18:53

Having sex with some people
Not having sex with other people
Sabotaging the possibility for a relationship with two people I really liked through fear of rejection
Thinking i was fat when I was a size 10-12
Not asking DH to take more photos of me with the kids (I am the photo taker in our house and there are hardly any pictures with me in them)
Not getting to the hospital in time with both parents - both taken in suddenly and died the same night.

Whatamess582 · 14/02/2022 18:53

I only have 1 regret. I’m 44.
I was offered a 1 month unpaid internship working on nature and science programmes at the BBC when I was 22. I was also offered a place on a 2yr graduate training scheme with huuuuge company, £25,000pa with all manner of perks, learning all areas of business, guaranteed job at end.
I (under guidance and pressure from everyone but especially my parents) took the graduate training scheme.

I regret it.

Now being 44 I know that was a bad mistake. I would have got another job. I was well qualified and it was a really good job market and to this day when I watch any nature of science programme on the BBC my heart breaks for the person who wanted to work with David Attenborough and travel the world in teams for him. I appreciate the internship could have been glorified tea making and photocopying but it could also have opened a door to my dream job.

Waddlegoose · 14/02/2022 18:54

Not being comfortable in my own skin until mid 20s. I wasted all of my teenage years and mid 20s being paranoid, full of anxiety and just being a bit unhappy. I wish I had realised how much a joy thief anxiety is. I look back and cringe, still have moments but I have learnt to control my inner thoughts most of the time

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