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Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
Bozlem80 · 14/02/2022 17:59

Getting married to a man that treated me like utter shit, him then to cheat on me with a younger woman, get her pregnant & propose to her all whilst still married to me & I’m now left resentful because I’m on my own with nobody by my side & feel like an utter fat, ugly piece of crap when I’m the one that’s done nothing wrong.

I’m glad he has gone I really am as it took a lot of courage to split up but I work minimum wage in a supermarket, struggle with my bills & feel I’ve stepped back 20 yrs, he shattered my confidence terribly too & he gets to be happy!

AnnieSnap · 14/02/2022 18:01

@RedCandyApple

Having children
Agreed, but we have to be brave to say it don’t we. It’s just not okay to other people!
fairycakes1234 · 14/02/2022 18:01

@RedCandyApple

Having children
@RedCandyApple

Thats really sad.

littlemisspigg · 14/02/2022 18:01

@Hdhr8jsj

I regret nothing. Never have, what the point? Even the shitty things I've done - like stealing from a neighbours in my teens. I'm sorry and I've moved on.

All my bad decisions have made me who I am today - and I like and am proud of who I am.

This isn't a regret issue - this is about low self esteem.

Agree- Let's honour our journey ...
amatsip · 14/02/2022 18:02

Getting my dog 14 years ago as he died a month ago and I’m truly heartbroken 💔, I never knew losing him would be so utterly painful.

What is your biggest regret in life?
Scotland32 · 14/02/2022 18:02

@PinkPinkPinkGreen

I should’ve had children sooner rather than wait until my (very) late 30s.
Interesting. I did that too but no regrets. Had so much fun before they came along and yet am still young enough to do everything with them that I might want to.
fairycakes1234 · 14/02/2022 18:03

@ReformedWaywardTeen

My marriage.

DH and I have been together close to 25 years. We have 2 DCs.

I have known for ten years that we should split up. He irritates the holy fuck out of me. I can't even use any level of intelligent words or he gets the arse and accuses me of acting up.

I don't even know why I agreed to the wedding.

I am absolutely miserable. I spend most of my time upstairs away from him. We barely have sex anymore. I genuinely think he is having an affair. And I don't even care, I actually hope he leaves me for whoever this poor person is.

I can't leave as I have no financial stability at all. No bank account, no credit, everything is in his name. I've barely any education past GCSE. My friends live miles away and they've no idea how miserable and utterly alone I am.

I've always just thought at some point it will get better. It doesn't. This weekend was my birthday. An important one. I've organised two big birthdays for him. Put time and effort in both times. He did fuck all for mine at all, again. I'd even stupidly convinced myself he was kidding about and had organised a surprise. Nope. I did laundry and cleaning.

I've not slept in days and Ive barely eaten I'm so upset.

He then turns up, after telling me he is sick of me being a miserable bitch earlier with a valentine's card and flowers. I told him to go fuck himself that I'm sick of being an afterthought. Apparently this makes me ungrateful and I apparently hold grudges unlike him as he's willing to forget what a miserable bitch I've been for days

I think I finally realised how little he actually cares. He is selfish. An actual piece of shit.

Sorry to rant.

Just don't marry a narcissistic twat.

@ReformedWaywardTeen Thats really sad, hope you will be okay x
Cheekypeach · 14/02/2022 18:03

@RedCandyApple do you mind if I ask why? Feel free to tell me to piss off if that’s too nosy a question.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 14/02/2022 18:05

@Bozlem80
Literally feel like all us used and abused women should just move into a giant house or farm together and ban dickheads outright.

It's so hard being a women of 35+ with DC's and a dickhead husband/partner/ex. Especially with no financial security.

CowCuddler · 14/02/2022 18:07

Um loads. Most notably...

Having an abortion.

Staying in a crap relationship so long it's now too late to meet someone else.

Not getting control of my weight when I was much younger and now having to deal with all the fall out of that.

Not going to therapy YEARS ago when I still had my whole life ahead of me. Seems pointless to have finally figured out who I was supposed to be.

Would love to go back to 25 knowing what i know now.

Zipper666 · 14/02/2022 18:07

Staying in an unhappy marriage for too many years. That time wasted will never come back and despite now having a truly wonderful wife [22 years together] I'm saddened that I allowed myself to "do the right thing" for so long.

CowCuddler · 14/02/2022 18:10

Oh, and not having a shit load more sex at every opportunity Grin

munchkinman · 14/02/2022 18:13

Not doing more with my children when they were little. I did a lot but they have their own lives now. Not having my mum live with me when she had dementia (had a lot of problems at the time).

Dreamingof3 · 14/02/2022 18:14

I regret letting other people's words make me hate myself for so long. Wasted a lot of my best years disliking everything that I should've embraced and loved

SoItWas · 14/02/2022 18:16

Telling my ex I was pregnant, (we'd just broken up, when I found out).

ChooseYourUsernameWisely · 14/02/2022 18:18

I’d have liked another child.

Slept with a few exes that didn’t deserve me or the relationship.

Due to lack of confidence I now realise I could have done better than I did (although at least I’ve got a job).

Runnerduck34 · 14/02/2022 18:22

Wish I'd stayed in education rather than leaving school at 16.
Also becoming overweight and not nipping it in the bud!
But OP at 26 you have your whole life ahead of you, ditch regrets and live for now.

ChooseYourUsernameWisely · 14/02/2022 18:23

Ooh forgot to add; Wear a bikini all those years ago (instead of a boring swimming costume) when I had the chance.

I’m not fat but obviously things have slightly dropped and drooped and now I have to wear a swimming costume to help keep everything tucked in place 😂

justlliloleme · 14/02/2022 18:23

There are plenty of things in hindsight I'd have done differently but I don't regret anything. Anything that has happened in my life has made me the person I am today.

sorrow4ever · 14/02/2022 18:24

Getting married, he can be an a*hole and verbally abusive for most of the 24h in a day. My other regret is not having another kid. Really wanted to have 2 kids but since DH is the way he is it could never happen. Also raised my DS mostly alone.
OP, you are still young. The words “I wish this would be done differently “ pops in my mind always, but also “this I can do different, this I can control”. It’s time to start living your life Smile

mumwon · 14/02/2022 18:29

My only regret was that my dm wouldn't allow my dc to have a good grandmother relationship with my dc & share the joy & fun we had first hand. She was happy to talk on the phone but that was it.
I think her childhood & youth made her the way she was -sad
It took decades to come to terms & accept that it wouldn't happen &I would always be wrong no matter what I did.
But I had one golden moment just before she died (dementia) when she turned round to me when I visited her & she said my name & called me her lovely girl -

KentdonMum · 14/02/2022 18:31

@Nadjahomesoil

Sleeping with most of the men I slept with in my 20s when my self esteem was terrible.
I feel the same. Haunted by it to this day. Sometimes I wish I’d had more serious relationships before settling down with DH. That said we’ve been together nearly 30 years so we must be doing something right. I do wonder what life would be like with someone I have more in common with than just hardcore partying for most of our young adult lives
Lua · 14/02/2022 18:31

Not having left my husband 10 years ear;ier.

If it feels like he doesn't love you, move on, time will only make things worst!

mumwon · 14/02/2022 18:32

& op I got my (good!) degree in my 50's so you really have plenty of time to do anything you want -decide whatever you want to do& go for it!

withoutawordofalie · 14/02/2022 18:34

Spending too much time at work. If I could go back now I would say no more often. I missed out so many school events etc. because of work. I was always available to cover absence etc.

Nobody ever lay on their death bed and said I wish I had spent more time at work.