What is your biggest regret in life?

[Teadrinker11]

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

Miserablelife,

It's never too late until you're dead!
Please prioritize yourself and your kids, and do whatever it takes to get out and start again.
Get in touch with family and old friends. They still care, believe me.
Stay strong.

hellcatspangle
What age are you? Could the 'never too late' thing not apply? Especially with so many free resources for you to study as a stepping stone?

not having tons more sex in my 20s, being more confident to sleep around!
Be years now before I can fulfil that!

I wish I'd not ever had alcohol. I convinced myself it helped with confidence but if I look back I have so so many regretful episodes that wouldn't have happened if I'd been sober.

I really regret not asking for help or telling an adult about my neglectful snd abusuvd parents. We were too scared to and warned against taking about ‘family business’ outside of the home.
If I had not experienced the childhood trauma I did, I think I would have been a more successful and confident adult. My parents may have been more accountable too. A lot if my anger comes from the fact that they seem to have buried it all and pretend it never happened.
I know that good things have come from my experiences and I’m proud of who I am- but I often wonder who I might have been

I could have written this post. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD (only fairly recently) due to abuse/neglect in my childhood and also bullying at secondary school. It has definitely shaped me and influenced my decisions along the way. Overall, I don't have massive regrets just that I have felt so much anxiety in life and all that entails. I am only just starting to live life more on my terms (heading for 50 now) and feeling more comfortable in my own skin.

Has the GP helped?

Not starting IVF sooner- and potentially giving ourselves a better chance of success.

I let my parents dictate my way in life too much. No focus on education or following my heart... just get out there and get a job to get by. No point having a dream, you will never reach it.
Now I am unemployed (not able to work due to shit MH), and feel stuck. Am early 40s so feel like it is too late even try anyway.
I often think that re-incarnation is a thing, and would be the only way to actually be able to start again.

Not reporting a male nurse who abused me when I was vulnerable in hospital. It was over 20 years ago.

@Toanewstart23

I came on to this thread Read a few Began to wonder about my biggest regret and then thought….

WTAF

I’m happy
I’m healthy
My children are happy and healthy
My son is really excited about a football match he’s in this afternoon
My daughter and I have some baking planned
And life is good…. So why would I actively bring myself down by picking my brain for my biggest regret?!

I suggest others do the same

Read the room.

It's laughable, and shows how little you relate, to assume that people have to actively dig deep into their brains to ferret out their significant regrets.

You are lucky. Shut up and be thankful.

My abortion.

@AbsentmindedWoman absolutely!

I’ve never had dig deep down for my regrets, I live with mine daily

For allowing my abusive dominant mother to persuade my husband and I to move in with her and setting up an arrangement that was totally one sided

Then reacting ridiculously when we decided we wanted to go it alone and spending the next 3yr suing us in various courts, almost broke my marriage and led to PTSD and now hardly anyone in my original family speaks to me (sided with her without even speaking to her our side)

I should have grey rocked her age teens onwards and left her problems to someone else, she has manic depression and non are resolvable.

Ruined my 20s and cost us around £100k to fight which has taken us 5yr + to pay off

Tbh wish I'd had a different mother all along - as the eldest you're left trying to manage difficult / dangeous mothers. Carcass mediator said mother is dangerous as no boundaries and to protect myself but no one tells you this as a child .. :(

Marrying ex husband, and wasting nearly 10 years of my life to heroin. The two went together. Then staying in an abusive relationship for too long. So annoyed at myself for having such low self esteem.

Getting fat

Not buying a house back when they were approximately £3.49.

Wish had got to spend more time with a lovely friend who I knew from my 20s who passed away in an accident age 42.

That's my only one I think.

Travel, treasure friends, don't put up with time wasters or people who put you down, and keep saving up - it does add up in the end if you possibly can put something aside each month.

Good Luck OP.

There's no recipe for life, we're all winging it x

Regret not buying Banksy prints back when they were selling for peanuts - I did like seeing his art on the street (lived in London at the time) but thought it looked a bit 'studenty' to have up in my house. My friends that bought them have sold them for between £50k - £80k each. If only I could go back in time and tell myself to buy a dozen - then I wouldn't have to work again.

I'm a no regrets person. If I'd changed my path or plans then I wouldn't have what I have today. There have been some sh1tty times but all led here.

Not looking after my teeth

Not saving enough. Not getting a job with a final salary pension. Not moving house sooner. Getting cold feet over retirement. Making big money purchase, then making another one.

That's off the top of my head. Not so much regrets as just thinking I tend to make wrong decisions...

@Sahgah

Where did you move from, if you don't mind me asking?

I regret marrying my ex husband, I wish I had chosen a better father for my child. Wish I had finished my uni degree, travelled the world and was better with money.

Probably not doing better educationally and career-wise.

My marriage.

DH and I have been together close to 25 years. We have 2 DCs.

I have known for ten years that we should split up. He irritates the holy fuck out of me. I can't even use any level of intelligent words or he gets the arse and accuses me of acting up.

I don't even know why I agreed to the wedding.

I am absolutely miserable. I spend most of my time upstairs away from him. We barely have sex anymore. I genuinely think he is having an affair. And I don't even care, I actually hope he leaves me for whoever this poor person is.

I can't leave as I have no financial stability at all. No bank account, no credit, everything is in his name. I've barely any education past GCSE. My friends live miles away and they've no idea how miserable and utterly alone I am.

I've always just thought at some point it will get better. It doesn't. This weekend was my birthday. An important one. I've organised two big birthdays for him. Put time and effort in both times. He did fuck all for mine at all, again. I'd even stupidly convinced myself he was kidding about and had organised a surprise. Nope. I did laundry and cleaning.

I've not slept in days and Ive barely eaten I'm so upset.

He then turns up, after telling me he is sick of me being a miserable bitch earlier with a valentine's card and flowers. I told him to go fuck himself that I'm sick of being an afterthought. Apparently this makes me ungrateful and I apparently hold grudges unlike him as he's willing to forget what a miserable bitch I've been for days

I think I finally realised how little he actually cares. He is selfish. An actual piece of shit.

Sorry to rant.

Just don't marry a narcissistic twat.