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Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
gingerhills · 13/02/2022 09:53

@whichiswitch

Studying law instead of history at uni.

Putting on weight.

Not starting yoga in my 20s when I lived above a yoga studio.

You can lose weight, do yoga and read history books right now, surely.
gingerhills · 13/02/2022 09:57

I could say selling my central London one bed with roof terrace flat for the same (tiny) amount I paid for it, only for it to go up 5 times in value within two years and about 16 times its original value within ten years. But meh. I sold it to move in with DH, we made a bit of money on his flat when we bought our first house and we have been incredibly happy for nearly three decades so no point in regretting it.

PickledOnionSandwich · 13/02/2022 10:18

My husband was my first boyfriend and we dated for two years. I got cold feet when I was 18 and ended it in a car park. We both went in the marry the most God awful people who treated us terribly. I got out after 3 years but it took him 11. I think it’s always harder for the man as they don’t want to leave the kids. Anyway, we finally got back together and have been married nearly 5 years now and together 7. We actually went to said car park for the first time in 27 years recently and it was quite emotional for both of us. I saw the bay where I dumped him and couldn’t stop thinking ‘what if’? I would have loved for us to have had children but it will never happen now. That’s my biggest regret and it’s all my own fault.

Badbaddog · 13/02/2022 10:50

I do regret reading English at uni. I should have done History. Career has been fine but it killed my love of reading

CrimbleCrumble1 · 13/02/2022 10:54

Badbaddog the same thing happened with me after studying for my Sociology degree. I now analyse everything I read and pull it apart.

MsGoodenough · 13/02/2022 11:07

Not pursuing a relationship with a man I was absolutely crazy about because I was scared of leaving my 'safe' relationship with a good man I didn't really fancy. Still burns 20 years on, despite all the good things that my relationship gives me. I try to tell myself he was probably actually shit in bed and never does any housework or childcare!

SkipThisStep · 13/02/2022 11:25

I'm 26 too.
I'm tempted to say my partner but then I wouldn't have my children. So I'll go for wasting money too.

Blossomtoes · 13/02/2022 11:30

@CrimbleCrumble1

Badbaddog the same thing happened with me after studying for my Sociology degree. I now analyse everything I read and pull it apart.
That’s not a bad thing.

My English degree had that effect on me too @Badbaddog but it didn’t last. Almost 40 years later I’m an avid reader again.

hellcatspangle · 13/02/2022 11:33

Not establishing some sort of career. I slipped into "he earns more than me and has more potential so i'll be a SAHM/work part time" trap. I'd still have gone p/t when kids were young but wish I'd got myself established (I think I'd have been a great project manager)

Badbaddog · 13/02/2022 11:38

@Blossomtoes yes I’m really trying to get back into reading for pleasure now. I love being able to analyse and pull things apart, but with fiction/film/TV it often just shows me that the piece is pretty rubbish!

LemonDrizzles · 13/02/2022 12:31

Not going to university to become an environmental engineer

FanciedChange · 13/02/2022 14:49

@Lovemusic33

I regret not travelling, having kids young and getting married at 22. I guess I thought I could travel when the dc had grown up but I didn’t consider that they may have SN’s and will rely on me into adulthood.

If I could do things again I would have furthered my career, travelled and not settled down with a man who was my opposite.

@Lovemusic33 your life sounds very similar to mine except I don't regret marrying but do having the DC so young. I always thought that we would be able to travel etc with DC (my parents did with me) but didn't count on them being disabled. A very, very different life to the one I'd imagined. That said, if I'd had them later I don't think I'd have the energy to keep up with them!
AfraidToRun · 13/02/2022 15:20

Not seeing what happened as traumatic, not telling anyone, not having an opportunity to confront the person and running from it for years.

I have all sorts of mental and physical conditions as a rest. Time does not heal you. I'm starting the process now but it's much harder having very few memories, no means of conversation with the person and everyone else has moved on.

Thatsplentyjack · 13/02/2022 15:34

Honestly there are loads of things I could have done better, but I like my life really (need and want a bigger house but 🤷‍♀️). There is one thing I really really regret doing though. I'm embarrassed and a shamed of it. I was given responsibility of something and I really let them down. It still plays on my mind all the time. This incident happened around 16 years ago but I still feel sick to my stomach about it to this day. I was about 16 but it affected the way a lot of older people who also trusted me thought of me.

Thatsplentyjack · 13/02/2022 15:36

I also regret not recognising and seeking help for the pnd I had after my second baby. Although I think it was other circumstances that caused that rather than the actually having a baby. I'm still not even entirely sire jt was definitely pnd.

thepeopleversuswork · 13/02/2022 15:44

Wasting so much of my life on blokes who didn't deserve my love/affection/loyalty. I could have achieved so much more if I hadn't wasted so much energy on men.

Toanewstart23 · 13/02/2022 15:45

@Thatsplentyjack

Honestly there are loads of things I could have done better, but I like my life really (need and want a bigger house but 🤷‍♀️). There is one thing I really really regret doing though. I'm embarrassed and a shamed of it. I was given responsibility of something and I really let them down. It still plays on my mind all the time. This incident happened around 16 years ago but I still feel sick to my stomach about it to this day. I was about 16 but it affected the way a lot of older people who also trusted me thought of me.
How old were you? Anyone who fundamentally changes their opinion of a child or teen is very short sighted
Lightbulbmoments12 · 13/02/2022 15:52

Seriously- spending time on friends who were toxic and caused so much stress because I was scared of having less friends. Having a small group of good friends is better than lots for the sake of having lots.

Somewhat serious - not going more weekend breaks and trips before having kids when I had the money.
-Not keeping in better shape and sticking with the gym whilst raising kids

Not very serious - appearing in my universities naked charity calendar and worrying that it would resurface

Don’t live with regrets, acknowledge them, learn from them and move on

AliceMcK · 13/02/2022 15:52

Not spending more time with people I loved, mainly my Nan. Not asking more questions about her life.

Not walking away from a toxic parental relationship sooner, I spent so many years suffering, blaming myself and depressed when I should have just walked away.

Wasting money!
I should never have had joint finances with my ExH
buying crap i didn’t need
I didn’t need to have so many nights out drinking. I don’t regret having a fun social life but I do regret not being more restrained and saving money I wished I’d partied 1-2 nights a week rather than 5-6

Not having a breast reduction when I was younger

VickyEadieofThigh · 13/02/2022 17:04

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

I cant say 'regret' as I don't think I would be where I was now without my past, but what I would say, is don't waste time on shitty people. Relationship wise and friendship wise.

I went out with shit men and I wish imy older set could tell my younger self to not compromise myself for a man.

TRIST YOUR INSTINCTS. ALWAYS.

Very wise words.
Pegasushaswings · 13/02/2022 17:46

@AnnaK163

My regret is that I made ghe massive mistake of thinking that if you work very hard at school, university and then at work, you put your head down and work your arse off all day every day, you will do ok.

The fact is, whether you get on at work depends very much on whether you are likeable, helpful, pleasant and positive. No-one really gives a shit if you are not very good at your job. What sort of a person you are matters far more.

That is so true, it took me until my 40’s to realise that too as I was always a hard worker and just wanted to get on with the work.

I regret not being more daring in my teens and 20’s, I could have done so much more than I did.
Regret not marrying an American guy I was seeing and moving to the US.
Regret moving out of London but financially it made sense.
Regret drifting in so many ways-work, relationships, opportunities, mostly due to lack of confidence though.

Grapewrath · 13/02/2022 18:01

I really regret not asking for help or telling an adult about my neglectful snd abusuvd parents. We were too scared to and warned against taking about ‘family business’ outside of the home.
If I had not experienced the childhood trauma I did, I think I would have been a more successful and confident adult. My parents may have been more accountable too. A lot if my anger comes from the fact that they seem to have buried it all and pretend it never happened.
I know that good things have come from my experiences and I’m proud of who I am- but I often wonder who I might have been

Sarahlou252 · 13/02/2022 18:22

I'm happily married with a beautiful family, a nice home and comfortable lifestyle, heading in the direction of 50.
But was steered into the family business at age 16 and have no A levels/degree to my name. I've always been happy to work jobs round my growing family but now theyre getting older and making their own lives, my lack of education really haunts me and makes me feel quite inadequate.

BeanAnTae · 13/02/2022 18:46

Sarahlou252 - you could always apply to Uni/Open University as a mature student. Give it serious thought - what would you like to study?

Kshhuxnxk · 13/02/2022 19:36

No regrets because once it's too late it's too late. Live with the decisions you make which are the right decisions at the time. Make changes you need to. Apart from health problems everything is fixable.