What is your biggest regret in life?

[Teadrinker11]

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

Not realising during my dad’s life time what a narcissistic money grabbing mad woman he was married to and not encouraging him to ensure that his Wills were absolutely water tight to avoid the 3 year contested probate battle that ensued and is still ongoing.

I never had confidence growing up and I never truly got in a relationship with anyone I fancied. I just didn't really know who I was or what I wanted. I always got set up with men I had nothing I common with and I wasted so much time.

Not starting a pension sooner

Leaving it late to start a family so needing IVF

Putting on weight

Worrying too much

But overall, I've been very lucky. No one gets everything.

@Itsmeandhim

Moved to Australia. Too late now.

Opposite to you, I regret moving to the UK. Too late for me too stuck in UK now. Currently visiting Aus now and really really don't want to go back on Thursday to London. I would do anything to go back in time when I agreed to move.

Not spending more time with my mum. She was only 69 when she died and missed so much and I was selfish. We only spoke twice a week (my idea) and I went up every month for a weekend.
I was 48, tied up with kids, step kids and work and I neglected the wonderful woman who loved me unreservedly.
It is 29 years today since she died and I think of her every day.

I regret spending so long worrying what other people though and being scared of what might happen if I did something brave.

It is something I'm trying to overcome and actually really enjoying being the person I am without holding part of me back. I'm pretty much the same just without crippling self consciousness.

Going through the whole adoption approval process. Loving the 7 year old who came to us, only for the placement to break down not because of me

I never lost weight. I know I can still have time I am middle aged but it has always affected me sometimes ie going out socially. Meeting up with say old work colleagues as I felt look fatter. Not enjoying beach holidays

I also don’t believe in regrets but I do wish I worked harder at school and got qualifications I just didn’t see that education was important. I wanted to work but I realised I’m not thick and think if I had the support I could’ve gone on to uni . I stupidly believed I wouldn’t be able to afford it as my parents were quite skint and I wanted a job to pay my way . I also wish I’d spoken up more but I think it’s made me who I am today because I definitely speak up now .

@thegreylady sending you Flowers: flowers

My only regrets really are ordering the wrong dishes in restaurants.

Learn from your mistakes, move on and look to the future has always been my motto.

Wasting years in crap relationships with men I wasn’t compatible with. Not risking more and being adventurous. Moving to new places and making new friends. I’m now in my 50s with a shit marriage and few friends and no social life and wondering how I got here.

I don’t have “regrets” per say, you really never know what particular decision leads to something good - even an all out spectacular failure might be the thing that put or puts you on the path to one of the favourite things about your life. However I do caveat that with acknowledging I have the good fortune to not have ever done something truly awful, like killed someone in a car crash or something like that - I think this would be harder to recover from but I do hope that if I end up in this situation that I can remain peaceful about it and not let it ruin my life with regret.

One thing I do wish my younger self had got the hang of is being better with money. I wish I’d been more aggressive with putting savings into ETFs so that they could grow, and I wish I’d understood budgeting and been more aggressive with saving and also not frittering my money away! I’ve recently downloaded an app called “Emma” which is great and is helping me make better choices, like deleting the Deliveroo app!

My other regret is regarding my wedding - I wish I’d just invited the cousins and uncles who really wanted to come but for various reasons I didn’t feel that they should be there. My reasons at the time were justified, but as time goes on and I’m out of touch with 70% of the friends who came - I just really wish I’d invited the relatives, who whilst still annoying are still actually in my life! My advice to any bride would be that if anyone in your life really wants to come to your wedding, just invite them even if you don’t feel that they deserve to come. Because chances are, down the line that reasoning will mellow but the fact they weren’t invited will always exist and you will wince whenever you remember it!

@Homehunter52

Putting my whole self into work in my 20s and not prioritising socialising and friendships.

Mine is the exact opposite 😂

I regret leaving my last job, realistically I had to do it for financial reasons but I still really miss it.

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

I cant say 'regret' as I don't think I would be where I was now without my past, but what I would say, is don't waste time on shitty people. Relationship wise and friendship wise.

I went out with shit men and I wish imy older set could tell my younger self to not compromise myself for a man.

TRIST YOUR INSTINCTS. ALWAYS.

Heartily agree.

Biggest regret was believing that you had to have a career, marriage and a house to be happy, got rid of the career, the useless husband, the showy very expensive house and the weight of the world on my shoulders and many great years later have a fantastic Husband, rickety house and a life that is simply so fantastic, we don't have a great deal of money but we don't need nor want it.

Waiting until my late 20’s to have my first child, I would have had him earlier, if I had known how awesome being a mum was going to be.

To not have married 3 times. No husbands whatsoever and plenty of travelling. Now at 58 and even one holiday a year costs a great deal these days. There are so many places I would like to see but no there is no way I can afford it. Plus to not have picked men who had low earnings.

Becoming a doctor. Job is interesting but pay qnd conditions are abysmal for the training hours and risk involved. Wish I'd been a lawyer or anything else.

Studying law instead of history at uni.

Putting on weight.

Not starting yoga in my 20s when I lived above a yoga studio.

Not doing a PhD.

Some of these are heartbreaking and my heart truly does go out to all of you who have suffered loss or were bullied.

A lot of these resonate with me. I wish I had changed course at university and got away from the girls who were making my life hell. I could have got a much better grade and not have such bad memories.

I wish I hadn't got married. He comes from a family who all got married and had children at a young age, so we kind of felt it was expected of us, somehow. I uprooted myself from my home town, left my job, my family and friends and moved over 100 miles away without really thinking what I was doing. As time went on I realised I wasn't excited about it at all but everyone told me I was just overwhelmed. It's never really felt right, but when I tried to talk to my family I was told marriage isn't easy and you have to work at it. An ex boyfriend from years ago has been back in touch and I could cry because I miss him so much but we can't go back to how we were. Life isn't 'bad', it's just not how I expected it would be. I wish life came with an instruction manual, sometimes!

@Lemonata I know this post is quite far back in the thread, but I just wanted to say that you have done amazingly well, your post touched me. I have children who are struggling in their teens and it gives me hope to think that even if they have to try many times, it is possible to lift themselves out and up- in your case even more so as you did not have good support. Good luck with uni in Sept, make yourself known to your tutor or if you need additional support for any learning needs, often mature students don't know how much help there is out there for them these days.