Page 11 | What is your biggest regret in life?

Shudacudawuda · 13/02/2022 07:57

I regret never taking some time out to go travelling when I was younger.
Circumstances meant I couldn't really have done it anyway, but it is my biggest regret that I haven't seen more of the world. I'm not sure if I'll get a chance to rectify it.

SportsMother · 13/02/2022 07:57

This reply has been deleted

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ButterMeTimbers · 13/02/2022 07:59

I should have listened to my Dad and bought a house (or flat) ten years earlier than I did.

Ah well.

Purplewithred · 13/02/2022 07:59

I hadn't realised that however desperate you are to have children, having children with the wrong man will lead to a lifetime of regret. Sheryl Sandberg said somewhere that the man you choose to be father of your children is the biggest choice you'll ever make, and my experience would say she's absolutely right.

cherrytopcake · 13/02/2022 08:00

I regret spending so much money on clothes I didn't need in my 20's.

Toanewstart23 · 13/02/2022 08:03

I came on to this thread
Read a few
Began to wonder about my biggest regret and then thought….

WTAF

I’m happy
I’m healthy
My children are happy and healthy
My son is really excited about a football match he’s in this afternoon
My daughter and I have some baking planned
And life is good…. So why would I actively bring myself down by picking my brain for my biggest regret?!

I suggest others do the same

Thisisworsethananticpated · 13/02/2022 08:03

I don’t have that many
As all the decisions led to where I am today , and I’m ok
Yeh I stayed with ex too long for sure
But it I mean sons had a present father for a good few years
Yeah ex was a twat , but our kids exist
Yeah I work too hard
But I have a nice home

So even decision that have been bad have also led me where I am today

If I’d taken a different way , my sons wouldn’t exist as they do ?

cptartapp · 13/02/2022 08:05

I'd make every single life decision just the same. No regrets at all.
Except nursing. I wouldn't choose that again.

MelCat · 13/02/2022 08:09

Not studying medicine at university. I was unwell during my alevels. I did really well, given the time off I had and lack of support I had from my school, but did not the grades I needed. (School told me not to mention my health condition to university which in hindsight was terrible advice).

I wanted to do retakes but my parents said no (they would have need to pay for the resit college).

I am in a very prestigious job and probably earn more then I would as a doctor, but I do wish I had been braver to go for what I wanted.

lollipoprainbow · 13/02/2022 08:10

@Toanewstart23 well lucky you, not everyone is happy, healthy etc. Why bother commenting on the post at all ??

user1471538283 · 13/02/2022 08:10

I wasted so much time worrying and obsessing over men. I'm never putting a man first and foremost in my thoughts ever again.

Toanewstart23 · 13/02/2022 08:11

[quote lollipoprainbow]@Toanewstart23 well lucky you, not everyone is happy, healthy etc. Why bother commenting on the post at all ?? [/quote]
If you’re not happy
All the more reason to avoid actively picking your brain for your biggest regret

justustwoandmoo · 13/02/2022 08:14

@Toanewstart23

I came on to this thread Read a few Began to wonder about my biggest regret and then thought….

WTAF

I’m happy
I’m healthy
My children are happy and healthy
My son is really excited about a football match he’s in this afternoon
My daughter and I have some baking planned
And life is good…. So why would I actively bring myself down by picking my brain for my biggest regret?!

I suggest others do the same

What a strange comment 🤔. Not everyone can reel off a list of good things like you can.

Neveragain85 · 13/02/2022 08:14

I have 2 - I never should have left London in my 20s, I loved life there but left to live with my bf in Cambridge

Next was having a relationship with my exh, I never should even looked at him never mind married & had kids with him. I'm such an idiot. Think it was rebound from relationship above ending. I seriously regret it. Would have preferred to have kids with someone who was right for me, my life now would be so much better

lollipoprainbow · 13/02/2022 08:14

@Toanewstart23 I don't need to 'pick my brain' it's always with me.

TerraNovaTwo · 13/02/2022 08:18

My marriage and exH as father of my DC. An irreversible and devastating decision.

NandorTheRelentlessCleaner · 13/02/2022 08:19

26 is too young to have regrets OP You made some good decisions and have your whole life ahead of you, and should look forward instead of backward

Tara336 · 13/02/2022 08:19

MArrying a selfish man. I was young and deeply in love but I slowly realised that everything was always on his terms, I would have loved more than one child, a family life and just to feel like I mattered. But he didn’t want more children, chose a career that took meant he was working long and unpredictable hours and he was quite frankly incapable of showing affection. I wasted too much time on someone who wasn’t willing to give me theirs.

Cam77 · 13/02/2022 08:26

@AnnaK163
My regret is that I made ghe massive mistake of thinking that if you work very hard at school, university and then at work, you put your head down and work your arse off all day every day, you will do ok.
The fact is, whether you get on at work depends very much on whether you are likeable, helpful, pleasant and positive. No-one really gives a shit if you are not very good at your job. What sort of a person you are matters far more.

A lot of truth in that. Though I’d add it’s not just about being “likeable” but about who wants it/feels they’re entitled to it more. Often it’s about being “unlikeable” when necessary and not being afraid to ruffle feathers. It’s knowing how to play the game. School and a good university are just the Olympic qualifyiers so to speak. The kids that go to Eton are told that their life begins at Oxbridge - then that entitlement and confidence and game strategy kicks in. Whereas for the working/lower middle class kid, Oxbridge is often presented as the finish line. Of course it’s a wonderful achievement at the time, but it won’t necesasirly mean shit 30 years later.

VelvetChairGirl · 13/02/2022 08:26

@Teadrinker11

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

Wasting 14 years of my life on the bastard ex.

Lovemusic33 · 13/02/2022 08:27

I regret not travelling, having kids young and getting married at 22. I guess I thought I could travel when the dc had grown up but I didn’t consider that they may have SN’s and will rely on me into adulthood.

If I could do things again I would have furthered my career, travelled and not settled down with a man who was my opposite.

CounsellorTroi · 13/02/2022 08:29

@happinessischocolate

I regret choosing a twat to have children with.

Choose a man who will do anything for you, and for other people. He's then more likely to contribute towards raising your children, than the selfish wanker I chose.

Also, if you choose a man who treats his mother well - he is likely to treat you well too.

RiskyCookie · 13/02/2022 08:30

Being a people pleaser and worrying if people don't like me. Wasting too much time on worrying on what other people thought.

A580Hojas · 13/02/2022 08:32

One of my biggest regrets is that I ever started smoking.

Putting on 2 stone over the last 20 years.

Giving up music lessons as a teenager and waiting til I was mid 50s to start again.

Octopus37 · 13/02/2022 08:32

My degree choice and career. I did apply myself at school/uni, but tbh I was never a natural, had to work very hard, and didn't enjoy a lot of what I studied.

I now freelance, when the kids were young it was the only real choice no family support and a DH who works shifts. On the whole, it's worked, but as my kids have got older, I feel that I have lost social confidence. I've got some good friends who I see sporadically, but no work colleagues. I probably need to keep working for myself, have an elderly Dad who spends periods at our house (he lives at the other end of the country), and there's no shortage of my DS's having appointments and things and life admin, even though they are 12 and 14. Also, we have a dog, DH's hours are different every week, don't have the sort of money to pay out for dog sitters, etc.

I have recently done a copywriting course which I enjoyed but getting freelance work is very hard. I've also done a bit of voiceover work, which I'm trying to build on. All the knockbacks and patience required are taking a lot of resilience which I haven't got at the moment for various reasons. I'm 47 and going through peri which doesn't help although I am on HRT. Sorry for the brain dump.

Luckily, I don't regret where I live or my kids, just wish I had done better for myself but think I may need to learn to make peace with it.