To think this isn't 'pretentious'

[blameitontheweatherwoman]

Meeting my brothers new girlfriend last night at a family event. Small talk etc and she asked me what I was doing at uni, I said and I quote, 'a masters in social work'. That was fine, small pleasantries were exchanged and that was it.

Must note me and my brother don't have the best of relationships. God knows we've tried but we just don't get on, we're polar opposites and fall out, make up, fall out, make up.

Anyways, this afternoon I received a text from him, basically the way I presented myself and my education was 'pretentious'. Was there any need to tell his girlfriend I was doing a master in social work rather than just 'I'm doing social work'. He said even saying I was doing a postgrad would have been better.

It was honestly not a conscious thought but was then thinking, even if it was, why bloody not? I'm proud of it?

However it's made me weary about how I present it to others (sure I'm overthinking). Is it pretentious to say that when asked??

Not a fan of pretentious so I'd certainly say if I thought this was anything near, it's not. You answered a factual response to a basic question. Absolutely nothing pretentious about it

Don't overthink it. Men are often insecure when faced with educated women.

I wouldn't bother responding. Nothing you say is going to make it better. DONT apologise.

Definitely not at all pretentious, a factual answer to a straight question

I'd reply with a just a thumbs up or "thank you for your feedback 👍" as there's nothing you can actually say that he will hear.

Yes I like this. Thank you for your feedback is a little pretentious but you've already been judged guilty as charged so might as well live up to it 😆

I'm doing a Masters too and if someone asks that's what I'd tell them. Because there are not many people of my age doing a first degree. And I don't see it as bragging or pretentious either.

I have a Master's and wouldn't say I had a Post grad qualification as that could suggest/imply a PhD IMO. I'd say that was more pretentious than saying Masters myself.

@TatianaBis

I doubt this is the gf's problem, it's a very man-shaped problem.

Exactly! I would not be surprised if the GF was impressed by you and told your brother so....and then he got jealous of someone admiring you and acted like a nob.

@Isn't he a chippie, or did I misread that/get confused with another thread? (Or did the poster who used that word mean it in terms of "he's a touchy little so-and-so"?)

I hate pretentiousness but you were just stating a fact. Ignore your brother.

This is just ridiculous 😂😂😂

Are you allowed to speak for yourself or do you have to act like a dummy with a hand up your bum? God he’d moan about anything you said. I wouldn’t bother seeing anyone so controlling.

I found a photo of your brother:

media1.tenor.com/images/27dff1506ce8608cdf952447090d7cda/tenor.gif?itemid=17033978

It's sad because he obviously feels competitive with you and as though he's failing. Not your problem.

He's jealous...I'd have laughed in his face.

PS: weary = tired. Wary = cautious.

@BillMasheen

I’d be tempted to txt back

‘Tell me you haven’t been to university without telling me you haven’t been to university‘

But I’m an arsehole, so maybe don’t do that.

Please do this.

@OfstedOffred

Aren't masters in social work quite common? In that field of work, I mean. It doesnt sound in the least pretentious to me. Masters degrees are ten a penny these days anyway.

About 1.5% of the UK population have a Master's degree.

So hardly "ten a penny".

That's just as sneery as labelling them pretentious.

What? How can that be pretentious? You just said what you are doing. It's not even like you said you are doing s masters in French wine label design.

When I was a student, I had a part-time job in a well known department store (think, this is not just a student job). One of my colleagues mentioned she had seen me on the bus a few mornings earlier and asked where I was going. "To uni" I replied. Later in the day I was pulled aside by our supervisor as the colleague has made a complaint against me for "lording it over her" and I was told in future to say College, rather than Uni or University because it sounds less threatening.

Like you, OP, I was utterly confused by the reaction by my factual answer to the question. Some people just want to be offended.

Tell him you’ll reflect on this feedback in your next supervision 🤣

Sounds ridiculous - I did a MA in Social Work and that’s what I answered if people asked me what I do.

Yeah of course you should have lied - NOT ! What does she do?

Not pretentious. Is he threatened by you?

Later in the day I was pulled aside by our supervisor as the colleague has made a complaint against me for "lording it over her" and I was told in future to say College, rather than Uni or University because it sounds less threatening.

Bloody hell! Threatening? Now I've heard everything.

No. Pretentious would be saying you went to Oxford, and missing out the Brookes part.

Answering a question with facts is never wrong.

He sounds like a dick. Is he 14? Sounds like it.

Reply with 'next time she asks me a question I'll make some shit up then shall I?'
OR
Next time he mentions his lovely house or whatever, please do say how pretentious he's being, every single bloody time!

@BestKnitterInScotland - yep - Masters degrees are not 10 a penny & those who do them ( sample of one - my brother ) it seems to take a great deal of work to do.

As so many have said @blameitontheweatherwoman - if someone says to you - what are you doing & you answer ( which it sounds like you were ) I am doing a Masters in Social Work - you have answered the question. No pretension there in my book.

Best wishes for your course My brother did similar and he thought it was jolly hard work - proud of him for getting through it.