13 year old boy wished my 3 year old dead

[Nikki037297]

My daughter was on a group chat with her friends from the middle school and someone invited their brother in who is 13, she knows this boy as she’s been to her friends house many times, he heard my 3 year old in the background playing and he said I wish he would shut up and die. I’m furious a 13 year old would say this, he’s then claimed it was a joke! Iv told my daughter she’s not going to this house anymore, their mother wasn’t home at the time she leaves them home alone when she’s at work and leaves the 13 year old to look after the younger child. I’m so annoyed. AIBU? is it just a child’s silly joke and nothing to take to heart?

It was a horrible thing to say, it is unlikely he meant it but he should certainly be ashamed of himself. I would expect a sincere apology and then no more said about it.

If you told someone to go and jump off a cliff, you wouldn’t really be encouraging them to kill themselves, would you? It’s no different.

You are massively over reacting.

The level of overreaction on here is hilarious.

I love the comments from people who say oh my child doesn't use language like that 🤣

That is a ridiculous overreaction

@SexyLittleNosferatu

The level of overreaction on here is hilarious.

I love the comments from people who say oh my child doesn't use language like that 🤣

They are the same ones who will swear up and down that their child doesn’t lie.

Thirteen-year-olds say this sort of thing all the time. I didn't, but that's because I was a goody two-shoes. You're overreacting.

Thirteen year olds (boys especially) are notoriously idiotic and immature.

They think they’re the coolest and the absolute dogs bollocks and will do ANYTHING and say ANYTHING to seem trendy and cool in front of their little mates.

Take this delightful young man as Exhibit A. He’s showing off, thinking he’s cool. Unless it upset your daughter, don’t turn a hair. He obliviously doesn’t wish the child dead. If it has upset her, reiterate what a pleb he is and move on.

The teenage years are a learning curve and there will be battles and lessons you will need to teach your daughter about friendship and relationships and boys. Consider this the first one.

He wants a reaction, don’t give him one. Alternatively, get HER to decide if or how she wishes to respond.

Total overreaction - you do not know teens at all and you clearly have no idea about what they are like when adults aren't around.

@oakleaffy

That’s so common, that type of silly comment FODIAC was around years ago “Fuck off and die in a corner “ Nothing to be alarmed about.

You’ve just broken a teenage memory! A lad in English wrote that on my work book when we were in lesson and I cried in the toilets all of lunch.

Teenage years… who’d relive them?!

It sounds like he was just saying stupid stuff to sound funny or cool and got a short, sharp shock when he got called out by his peers. I really wouldn't take it to heart. It was a stupid thing to say but he's 13. And is now probably very ashamed and embarrassed as none of his friends found it funny and he realised he was being a moron. Lesson learned.

It's not a joke, it's just an expression 🤷🏻‍♀️

Like "I would die/kill for icecream right now". Let's be very clear: I wouldn't, ever, ok?

Chill.

Maybe this kid needs a chill pill as well, he should have dealt with the situation in a different way but he's very young. What do you expect?

What a ridiculous overreaction! He's not wishing death upon a toddler, he's venting frustration.

It's the less sweary version of the expression "fuck off and die". It wasn't a nice thing to say and rightly his peers called him out on it.

If this stuff distresses you, you're going to find the teen years a challenge. Don't get involved in your daughter's friendships.

Misleading title! It's just a (horrible but) stupid thing 13 year olds who are trying to be edgy and cool say. You're overreacting.

I do think it is a teen thing. My 14dd asked when I was going to kill myself last week because she was annoyed with a boundary we have.

I can see why you felt it was hurtful. But to ban all contact with the family is a shame for your daughter.

[quote crazyjinglist]**@MrsRobinsonsHandprintsWhatsApp is age 12+ so maybe stop spreading misinformation.

It's you that's spreading misinformation, I'm afraid. It's 16+ in the UK (and has been since 2018, I think).[/quote]
@NeedAHoliday2021 this. And the below from What's app. Anyway the kid is middle school so under 13, evident because op talked about someone adding their older brother, who was 13. Mind wishing someone dead is pretty tame by what's app standards. Group chars with older boys have much greater risks.

About minimum age to use WhatsApp

If you live in a country in the European Economic Area (which includes the European Union), and any other included country or territory (collectively referred to as theEuropean Region), you must be at least 16 years old (or such greater age required in your country) to register for and use WhatsApp

It is not a silly joke at all. It's vile and sick, and the people condoning it by saying its a joke should give their head a wobble. I'd be disgusted if my 13 year old ever thought that was an acceptable thing to say

Well I hate to te you this @MrsMiddleMother but I'm sure your 13 year old does sometimes say things you'd be disgusted with. Luckily for you they do it out of earshot.

Humour and hyperbole take practice. He took a (verbal) shot at being clever, he missed, he got rebuked by his peer group. That's how they learn, through example and by making mistakes.

13 year olds open their mouths and garbage comes out. I can actually remember saying things that came out wrong at about that age.
I wouldn’t think for a second he meant it, horrible though it sounds aimed at a small child.
If you know his mother I’d have a word with her. If she’s any sense she’ll talk to him about offending people before he gets himself into trouble somewhere.

Having worked in a secondary school for many years in my previous role I can be sure that while some teens speak like this, they don’t all speak like this. Only a small proportion of teens are as vile as to say stuff like this and the number of parents suggesting it’s normal teen behaviour is worrying. It’s normal for some but not most. Why are we excusing horrible language because “teens will be teens”? That said, I think op is over reacting in the response.

@NeedAHoliday2021

Having worked in a secondary school for many years in my previous role I can be sure that while some teens speak like this, they don’t all speak like this. Only a small proportion of teens are as vile as to say stuff like this and the number of parents suggesting it’s normal teen behaviour is worrying. It’s normal for some but not most. Why are we excusing horrible language because “teens will be teens”? That said, I think op is over reacting in the response.

There's a comment above saying how this is especially common for boys. I guess how violent crimes are especially common for men. But not related because of course it would never be their darling boys. It is extremely worrying thr number of people who think it is normal. I would expect a sincere apology and then say no more about it.

NeedAHoliday2021 and SkipThisStep exactly.

An apology for a overhead conversation? Take it from me it won't be sincere. They'll look at you like you're a loon. Move on.

Ohhh Cop on, this is absolutely ridiculous.

Ah, the adolescent male! Many of the seem to quite like shocking their elders and testing boundaries by saying stupid things like this.

DS used to say 'Now I'm just going to kill myself' every time he made a mistake or something went wrong (we are talking deeply trivial stuff here) and it really gave me the chills to hear him say it.

They don't mean it and the best thing is to ignore it - they want the shocked reaction - and to practice not caring.