Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

[unfeelingwife]

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

@ButterflyBitch

I know so many men who are scared of spiders. Why don’t they man up? Why can’t they confidently face a teeny tiny spider? Who the fuck are you to judge what other people are afraid of? What a judgemental horrible post.

This ! Good comment . what a horrid post get over your self I’m sure you have something your nervous about that people don’t relate to

My bed was a nervous driver and it really did put me off him (along with other things) but something I struggled to overlook

Many of my female friends are nervous drivers but it’s more acceptable for a women to be nervous and many can rely on someone else driving

I agree men are socialised to be aggressive so that helps with driving

I’m a very gentle person but have often been told I drove like a man and people are surprised I think what is meant is I’m not a nervous driver particularly city driving you need to be more to feel confident enough to not rely on others to be kind drivers

My bed

My ex

I love cars and I love driving, but I can't drive in the dark.

I wish I'd known sooner that all I needed to do to cure my atrocious eyesight and astigmatism was just woman up, I can stop saving for laser eye surgery now!

Wonder how many of them have had a dad/boyfriend/husband/male sat in the passenger seat criticising their driving at some point (or continually) which has had a cumulative effect on their confidence on the roads, when combined with acts of road rage from other road users, and non-courteous driving inflicted on them?

Oh ffs now you're making some women sound even more pathetic. Seriously?

YANBU, women playing the 'poor me I'm useless' card make me sad.

I also have no fucking idea what people are talking about they can't drive in the dark?

You need your eyes testing it sounds like.

It does highlight how society encourages the fragility of women, and I agree OP I find it rather pathetic.

I think there are some situations in which someone really can't drive and shouldn't. But just being a bit nervous someone else might think you're a bad driver or beep at you and give you a nasty look, isn't a good enough reason. A lot of women I know that don't drive, get upset over people getting upset with them and have been put off for that reason.

Unless they're lying to me. But I've seen it in action and tried to encourage them to not give a sh** about some man in a van being nasty. But it's really put them off. Such a shame.

Yes absolutely, I know many women young and old who won't tackle a motorway or certain dual carriageways. The husband has to drive them if the trip involves such obstacles.

I prefer not to drive in the dark because I struggle with the glare from headlights, mainly because we are quite rural so don't have street lighting. It makes the glare that much worse. However, doesn't mean I'm a nervous driver, far from it. I've driven in many countries and many vehicles and it just doesn't faze me. If I drive at night it gives me a headache which I prefer not to have.

What I do get is a lot of condescension from men which irks me tremendously. Some men can't stand the thought that a woman is a better driver than them! I've met just as many make nervous drivers as female, they're just not as honest in their failings!

I also have no fucking idea what people are talking about they can't drive in the dark?

I'm not sure why you need to be so aggressive about it. A quick Google told me a few reasons (certain eye conditions, and ageing) why some people found it harder to drive in the dark.

I have a condition called strabismus which can make driving interesting. It causes double vision. I'm still allowed to drive but it does make me wary that sometimes it's too dangerous. My glasses correct the double vision to a large extent but they are useless when I'm tired. Once I wanted to drive to my mum's (only a few minutes drive away) and burst into tears as I took one look in the rear view mirror and the double vision made it impossible.

So there are certain conditions that are invisible to others, that make driving harder for some. So much judgement. You are lucky if you don't have any of them.

@Ionlydomassiveones

I agree with you OP. If people driving 2 tons of metal are ‘scared’ or ‘anxious’ then they shouldn’t be driving. And if they’re scared of being judged on their nervous driving ability by other road users (who incidentally don’t give a shit, they just want to get on with their day) then yes that’s ‘super’ pathetic.

Harsh. Everyone is scared or nervous to start. It takes time to build confidence.

@Trinacham

I have a condition called strabismus which can make driving interesting. It causes double vision. I'm still allowed to drive but it does make me wary that sometimes it's too dangerous. My glasses correct the double vision to a large extent but they are useless when I'm tired. Once I wanted to drive to my mum's (only a few minutes drive away) and burst into tears as I took one look in the rear view mirror and the double vision made it impossible.

So there are certain conditions that are invisible to others, that make driving harder for some. So much judgement. You are lucky if you don't have any of them.

I think there are some situations in which someone really can't drive and shouldn't. But just being a bit nervous someone else might think you're a bad driver or beep at you and give you a nasty look, isn't a good enough reason. A lot of women I know that don't drive, get upset over people getting upset with them and have been put off for that reason.

Unless they're lying to me. But I've seen it in action and tried to encourage them to not give a sh** about some man in a van being nasty. But it's really put them off. Such a shame.

I don't think points about driving culture & women in the UK are U, but- I am not a happy driver for a variety of reasons and whilst I keep going, I'm not cash or time rich enough to sort it out over night. I keep going but driving "more" hasn't really helped. I just get more anxious about having to get in the car because I've been exposed to more fuckery and it's made me more nervous. I know I'm not a bad driver but I prefer driving in the evenings, when roads are quieter- I'm an introverted driver, it seems. Not sure if being a woman affects that.

Unfortunately most of my fears come from really valid places. I am dyspraxic and it requires a lot more practice, effort and concentration on my part than for others, even with Sat-nav. Stop-start access to driving wore away confidence I'd gained because dyspraxia means constant practice on skills or you lose them. I actually didn't lose skills but in trying to be cautious when I started again, my confidence hasn't bounced back. I also have GAD. The areas of my life it previously affected are now good... but it seems to have found a new home in my driving- my driving confidence was never that good but it's really hampered by this. I am seeking some further lessons to help and I do have techniques for the GAD but cash and time are at a premium. I can't just wave a wanda and I'm the tmost nervous
I've ever been now. The two things combined unfortunately fuel each other too, they make me overly aware and fearful of hurting myself or others or causing damage. Bad experiences also tie in with them and limit me. I don't street park; I will always find a car park after being badly bullied trying to park up to get to a dental appt. I used to do it before that but don't feel I can now. I live in an area with overflow London traffic, which also increases my nerves- I know I'm much happier when I'm driving a bit further out.

Add in a very damaged right foot and ankle from falls due to hypermobility and a depth perception issue and I'm not keen on long drives- I struggle with the restraints it places on my sitting position and my leg has limits. Safety is a real, genuine concern for me and I don't deserve to be jeered at if I say I'm not comfortable with a drive and risking lives.

Men (my dad) picking at my driving has bbeen a real issue for my confidence before, and I also worry that it'll never be undone, but men have been much more supportive than women in trying to get me driving. I just don't drive with my dad if I can avoid it because he doesn't understand dyspraxia and has criticised my mum so hard that she does small drives only now.

I don't want the anxiety to win , cars are great but it's very full on trying to sort it out and it's not all there is in life.

Would you like a nervous driver with poor spatial awareness forcing themselves onto roads that you and your kids might be on? I absolutely will not be the cause of suffering to other road users, so I keep people safe by not driving.

How many times have you heard 'stay off the roads if you can't bloody drive!'? That's what I do. I stay off.

(I'm from a long line of strong, outspoken feminists and I can cheerfully address a room of strangers if the circumstances call for it. I've got a talk to the manager haircut, routinely ask for better rooms in hotels etc. As a pedestrian, I have used many hand signals over the years including stopping traffic if there's an emergency. My skills just don't include driving.)

WTF is a talk to the manager haircut ?
Made me smile.

@sometimespeopletakethepiss

I also have no fucking idea what people are talking about they can't drive in the dark?

You need your eyes testing it sounds like.

It does highlight how society encourages the fragility of women, and I agree OP I find it rather pathetic.

Fucking hell some people are really enjoying this opportunity to feel superior and sneer at people, driving is no different to any other skill in the sense that some people are naturally better at it and some people take longer to become confident. The only difference with driving is that you are controlling a machine that could potentially kill you or other people, if people are nervous they are nervous, I don't think anyone is saying so to feel dainty and feminine, I hate the fact I feel nervous driving, it's not as simple as "don't feel nervous" is it. Empathy is not strong on this thread .

Im scared. I do drive but i dont like motorways

I did it when i was younger without fear but then had a long gap (lived in a city) and when i came back to it, totally lost my confidence and never fully gained it back

I just dont trust myself. I panic. If i need to go somewhere i will obsess over it for days, plan the journey and I go out of my way to avoid motorways

It's ridiculous. I wish I wasn't like it. Its been worse since i had a baby

Im confident and ballsy in most aspects of my life but this i cannot get over

But i do feel that it's totally rational. One tiny mistake can cost lives. My life, my child's. Other
Motorists

You have to make really quick decisions and judgments at 70+ mph

I find a lot of this thread very judgmental and nasty.

I don't agree at all that if you are nervous of whizzing round the M25 or M60 you shouldn't be driving to the local shops.
I am an older woman who has been driving for 45 years. I used to drive on motorways but never liked it, everything is faster and the volume of traffic is greater. I don't do it now -and no, I don't rely on someone else, I catch a train.
I am very confident driving around the town where I live, going to the supermarket, pharmacy, visiting friends. It's rural so few busses.
I don't see why it's a problem to know your limits, I think it's sensible.
If I stopped local driving just because I'm scared on the motorway it would make my life boring and make me dependent on others.
It's nasty to judge what people are scared of and tell them to woman up.
I am not scared of any animal or insect, not nervous of medical procedures , only scared of driving and fun fare rides. Why would I judge someone whose fears are different than mine?
It's aggressive drivers that make me nervous, be they male or female. I think more of them are male-but not all.
unfeelingwife-if other drivers tend to sound their horn at you and make aggressive gestures and you have also been in a few accidents then ask yourself some questions!

@sometimespeopletakethepiss

I also have no fucking idea what people are talking about they can't drive in the dark?

You need your eyes testing it sounds like.

It does highlight how society encourages the fragility of women, and I agree OP I find it rather pathetic.

I do get my eyes tested. This is how I know I can't and shouldn't drive at night. I have severe astigmatism. This means that when I drive at night all the oncoming lights encompass my entire vision with starbursts. Quite like the picture attached.

My shitty eyesight has nothing to do with my ability to drive during the day. I regularly take my car around tracks. I'm good at driving, but my eye health stops me driving at night. Because I can't physically see past peoples lights.

@RampantIvy

Although I am a competent driver I found yesterday's drive on the motorway in the pouring rain rather hair raising, especially when overtaking lorries in all the spray they generated. That kind of driving is not for the faint hearted.

Indeed. and it's a shame we don't have the same system in France where speed limits are reduced when it's wet.

Indeed. and it's a shame we don't have the same system as in France where speed limits are reduced when it's really wet

@sometimespeopletakethepiss

I also have no fucking idea what people are talking about they can't drive in the dark?

You need your eyes testing it sounds like.

It does highlight how society encourages the fragility of women, and I agree OP I find it rather pathetic.

I avoid driving at night because of the new trend for blinding headlights, especially SUVs where the light is directly in my rear view mirror or line of vision because I have a small car. I work in a rural area where I also have to deal with driving in pitch dark then suddenly passing someone with their high beams still on. Let's not forget the frequent animals jumping onto the road. It just makes for an unpleasant experience overall.