Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

[unfeelingwife]

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

[quote Cheekypeach]@amusedbush ah here we go, the inevitable lets-make-OP-feel-like-shit-when-we-know-she-didn’t-mean-people-with-disabilities

So predictable on here[/quote]
Define 'disabilities'

No-one thinks twice about astigmatism but it's a distinct disadvantage when you're driving

And if you come on here to be judgemental I'm afraid you have to be able to take it as well as give it

How is anyone a 'natural driver'?
Where did this phrase come from? I've seen it several times on this thread.

Is this something British women have been told by men? That they are not 'natural drivers'?
I see the same attitude to maths - you either have some special gift or you don't. Weirdly, men seem to have the 'natural' gifts of driving and maths.

Cars have been around for very little time in the overall history of human life on Earth. There is no reason to think anyone is a 'natural driver' or otherwise.

No-one thinks twice about astigmatism but it's a distinct disadvantage when you're driving

Oh fgs, you can get glasses to correct that. I have had driving glasses for about fifteen years.

@mathanxiety

No-one thinks twice about astigmatism but it's a distinct disadvantage when you're driving

Oh fgs, you can get glasses to correct that. I have had driving glasses for about fifteen years.

Is it ? Has the law changed since I took my test ? I just needed to be able to read a number plate from a certain distance.. I have astigmatism. I hope I'm not doing something wrong.

Yanbu. I don’t get all the ‘I can’t drive on the motorway, I’m too scared’ bollocks! You shouldn’t have a driving licence if you can’t do a simple thing like drive on the motorway.
I once worked with someone who took the same route to work and her mums house every day. They closed a road off and she couldn’t cope and come to work. It was pathetic. Really? Is this what we have come to as women?
I’m with you @unfeelingwife ‘woman up!’

You say you’ve been in multiple accidents @unfeelingwife? Forgive me for asking but is there a chance that perhaps you’re a tad bit overconfident?

Driving is a potentially very dangerous activity. I wish more people were scared careful. Then perhaps there’d be a lot less accidents and loss of life.

@Greenbluestar

You say you’ve been in multiple accidents *@unfeelingwife*? Forgive me for asking but is there a chance that perhaps you’re a tad bit overconfident?

Driving is a potentially very dangerous activity. I wish more people were scared careful. Then perhaps there’d be a lot less accidents and loss of life.

Oh I already said, I wasn't driving. I'm not overconfident at all. I don't really even think I'm a particularly good driver. I just get on with it and haven't had an accident where I've been the driver so far. Could happen, I'm aware of that. Driving is dangerous, so are lots of things.

Oh sorry, I didn’t see that. I had a quick look and statistically (and sadly) male drivers are much more likely to die from a car crash. So I certainly don’t want women to start driving like some of the men I’ve seen on the roads. This is of interest to me as I just passed my test two weeks ago. I’m definitely not a confident driver yet and don’t expect to be for some time.

Yes, lots of things are dangerous so we rightly treat them as such. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do these activities or feel anxious whilst doing them, it just means we take safely precautions (seatbelts, air bags) and are careful (driving carefully, checking our mirrors, not overtaking in silly places or driving too fast).

@Skydaze

I'm not entirely sure why it bothers you or why it matters - if anything people who don't drive and walk everywhere are probably way fitter and more environmentally friendly than those who do

I wasn't a natural driver, I learnt late and more slowly than my friends. But I'm competent and drive most places when I need to. The key word being 'need'. I don't drive for the heck of it and don't particularly enjoy it when I do - it's a means to an end. DH does the long trips because he genuinely enjoys driving and I can't be arsed, I much prefer fiddling on my phone, reading, chatting with the kids, staring out the window and savouring my coffee. It's downtime for me while driving feels like yet another chore on an overloaded list. I have zero shame that DH mostly drives when we're together and find it bizarre that anyone else would care. I do a shitload for my family and my work, why shouldn't I get to abdicate something and grab downtime when it's available? This idea that women have to prove they can do stuff by doing literally everything all the freaking time is deeply oppressive and helps no-one.

Oh one other note. I grew up on a bad corner of rural highway - 40+ serious crashes and 7 fatalities on your doorstep, dazed survivors sipping tea at your house waiting for ambulances and your parents coming back from assisting all bloody does tend to make you more cautious. It's for this reason I don't drive at night in the country, I find headlight glare difficult to manage even as a passenger and I've seen far too many crashes - the vast majority at night on a badly lit highway at speed - to put myself and others in danger by ignoring my limitations out of some misguided notion that I need to "woman up" and pretend to be perfect.

It's not about 'proving' anything. More of dependence. We wouldn't say that a man 'can't cope' with the housework ... but it's acceptable to say a woman 'can't cope' with driving?

Everyone has their lines in the sand but for me, not wanting dark drives on country roads, long drives etc etc isn't too bad. Unless you live in said areas you can always take the train on holidays, or just go to certain places. No issues there. It's not going to severely restrict your mobility.

Only driving on familiar roads...general only driving in the dark... AGAIN if you live in an area with great public transport, fair enough. Otherwise, you're making yourself dependent on someone else.

Again with the caveat : this is for people who just CBA. Or who have had mental barriers, issues etc that can be overcome with work.

I was traumatized by first instructor trying to rape me (among other things). Took me 6 years to pass, I spent a lot of time and money overcoming the damage he did. But I had no choice. I had no DP for a long time, I NEEDED to drive, so I did it. Ironically current DP hasn't gotten his license yet.

Of course if one has tried everything under the sun, or lacks the means to do it, etc, that's understandable. But to just relinquish responsibility for your transport, for your freedom to me is baffling.

@unfeelingwife, who are these people who are bowled over by the fact you're driving abroad I think its more to do with the people you spend time with than anything.
I always hire cars when I go abroad. I've also driven vans for years, and driven the truck I used to live in around Europe. No one has congratulated me for it, because I don't spend time with people who think that would be much of an achievement
I also don't judge people who feel nervous driving, because everyone is scared of something. I hate driving my van in really windy and stormy weather for example, not because I'm a woman but because it feel s dangerous.

I used to be a very confident driver. I would drive anywhere and drove thousands of miles for work and leisure. Then I hit menopause and completely lost my confidence. I'm a capable driver but don't enjoy anything except local driving any more. I worry about stupid things like where to park. I feel quite embarrassed about it and wouldn't dare admit it to anyone.

We shouldn't be so quick to judge others.

[quote Allelbowsandtoes]@unfeelingwife, who are these people who are bowled over by the fact you're driving abroad I think its more to do with the people you spend time with than anything.
I always hire cars when I go abroad. I've also driven vans for years, and driven the truck I used to live in around Europe. No one has congratulated me for it, because I don't spend time with people who think that would be much of an achievement
I also don't judge people who feel nervous driving, because everyone is scared of something. I hate driving my van in really windy and stormy weather for example, not because I'm a woman but because it feel s dangerous.[/quote]
It's interesting, mostly men have commented on it. Absolutely ridiculous.

But also several women have commented on it.

I agree with you, it's absolutely nothing special.

We have stables on a narrow lane. There are a couple of gateways and drives to use as passing places. I have had a few incidents where someone wanted me to reverse about 300m so then don't have to reverse 10m to the nearest driveway. When challenged they always say they can't reverse. Shouldn't bloody well be driving then. Sadly always women

@mathanxiety

Agree that 'natural driver' is definitely not a thing.

@Comedycook

I honestly think some men feel emasculated if they are sitting in the passenger seat whilst their wife is driving.

😂😂😂😂 Definitely not all men I can assure you. My husband will happily sit in the passenger seat. Couldn’t be dealing with all that male pride nonsense.

Mine is fine with it too @greenbluestar. He doesn't have much choice as I get horrendous travel sickness as a passenger so I much prefer to drive.

I use 'natural driver' to mean someone who takes to it easily, who has an aptitude for the skills involved. My sister did, I had to work harder to understand the physics and to process information on the road quickly, as well as not indulge my propensity to start thinking about something else at the same time. I took to academics easily, my sister didn't. DS has an aptitude for sports that his brother has had to work harder to attain. No, driving has not been around forever, but that doesn't preclude someone from having an aptitude for it and finding it easy whereas others find it more difficult and have to work on it.

And no I haven't given over my freedom or am dependent on others. I do the majority of driving for my family, have gone to places to visit friends that are further out of town, tackled unfamiliar areas. I drive when I have to or need to but not when I don't. Weirdly enough I don't think that defines my character nor do I really care if anyone else drives or not. Like I said, better for the planet and better for the body to walk or cycle. And who knows, the way fuel is going most drivers won't have anything to proclaim their superiority with soon anyway.

*It's not about 'proving' anything. More of dependence. We wouldn't say that a man 'can't cope' with the housework ... but it's acceptable to say a woman 'can't cope' with driving?
*
No one ever killed someone during housework.

Love driving, used to drive a lot for work and am very comfortable with it. For me I put it down to learning and passing my test when I was 17 with the gift / curse of adolescent no fear, and growing up with a mum who was a confident driver.

Also, whilst I've had small bumps I've never been in, or had loved ones involved in a major crash. I think if this had been the case I would feel differently.

I am dyspraxic it makes parallel parking impossible for me. This means if there’s no carpark nearby I need to allow extra time to find a space I can get into and walk to the venue. It doesn’t hamper my driving skills.

I can and do use all the A roads in and up to 300 miles around my city. Safely. I’m not confident enough to go on motorways yet because there have been many accidents near me (really busy junctions) and so I want lessons first. But finding an automatic instructor willing to give you motorway lessons when you aren’t a learner is almost impossible. That means I research A road routes to places where I want to go. It takes longer, often hours longer, but I feel safer doing it this way for now.

I learnt to drive age 17, now 54. I have dyspraxia, no sense of spatial awareness or sense of direction. I don't let that stop me. I have to parallel park where I live, I hate it but I have to do it. I actually like motorways and don't understand the fear factor.
I do find that men automatically assume driving rights, when in a relationship. Sometimes it's easier to just let them get on with it but then you lose your confidence, which is what I have personally found. Now I'm single, I'm much more confident and less reliant on men - and that applies to driving and everything else.

I'm not afraid of driving. I'm afraid of other idiot road users, I've had some unpleasant encounters with drivers who don't seem at all aware of their surroundings. Now a car is too expensive for me to run so I sold it and feel relieved tbh.

Although I am a competent driver I found yesterday's drive on the motorway in the pouring rain rather hair raising, especially when overtaking lorries in all the spray they generated. That kind of driving is not for the faint hearted.

I don’t drive on motorways often. Because where I am there are none and our max speed limit is 40. Motorways initially give me the herbeejeebees. But I do it when I travel.

The worst combination for me though was driving in America in the mountains in a hire car (an automatic) in the snow.

New place. Never driven in snow. New car. New way of diving (I drive a manual at home and done like automatics). Different side of the road. Different side of the car. Nope. I finished the journey though. And then DH drove from then on.