Page 18 | Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

unfeelingwife · 2022-02-12T10:11:38+00:00

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers. What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc. Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around.... Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

crazyjinglist · 12/02/2022 17:07

I think it's super pathetic to be honest to not be able to drive properly. I do judge people who can't. I don't care what you think of that. I get judged every day for things I do. This one I find super pathetic and I think women need to get on with it.

'Super pathetic' . Driving is one of the most dangerous things most people will ever do on a regular basis. Hurtling along at high speeds in a lump of metal alongside other hurtling lumps of metal - it's something that pre-industrial people would have found terrifying, and arguably we aren't scared enough of it. That's why people get complacent and distracted and have accidents. The fact that men are often more reckless than women isn't something for them to be particularly proud of. Driving doesn't make you morally superior. It's bad for the environment too.

gimmeavino · 12/02/2022 17:19

Haven't read the whole thread as it was grating on me, but as a 'super pathetic' person here who is nervous about driving I will say that it has nothing to do with the fact that I am a woman.

I have anxiety and struggle with new things, including new routes, and also overthink everything when I'm around people/in public so that includes on the road - on the road I'm out of my comfort zone. I have to look up routes well in advance, prepare myself and often have to pull over if something doesn't go quite to plan because I can start to panic. I would absolutely love to be a confident driver and do feel like I miss out sometimes, but it's more than just practice, it's all linked to my anxiety and mental health struggles.

The fact that you think that women who are nervous drivers are pathetic, and are nasty enough to come and post about it on a forum, is really sad. If somebody isn't confident driving, it is not just because they can't be bothered getting confident or that they liked being ferried around by men. There are often mental health barriers at play as with any fear.

Congratulations on being so perfect and empathetic.

phoenixrosehere · 12/02/2022 17:23

I think it's super pathetic to be honest to not be able to drive properly. I do judge people who can't. I don't care what you think of that. I get judged every day for things I do. This one I find super pathetic and I think women need to get on with it.

I rather be considered pathetic thab accidentally injure or murder someone, hurting their family and mine in the process because I rather not do something I am not comfortable with, enjoy, or is even necessary.

BABAHOTEL · 12/02/2022 17:27

@phoenixrosehere

I think it's super pathetic to be honest to not be able to drive properly. I do judge people who can't. I don't care what you think of that. I get judged every day for things I do. This one I find super pathetic and I think women need to get on with it.

I rather be considered pathetic thab accidentally injure or murder someone, hurting their family and mine in the process because I rather not do something I am not comfortable with, enjoy, or is even necessary.

Murder?

Don't be so dramatic!!

Manslaughter, death by da heroes driving?

If you think you're going to murder someone by driving, keep off the fucking roads,

BABAHOTEL · 12/02/2022 17:29

*dangerous

AgeingDoc · 12/02/2022 17:37

I'm super pathetic then. I'm a distinctly nervy driver currently and my anxiety was caused by the behaviour of a man. All he did was drive his car into mine at speed on the wrong side of the road and nearly kill me, but damn, I'm such a wuss, it's left me twitchy behind the wheel , inclined to avoid the road where I nearly died and deeply suspicious of young men in hot hatches. I'm a disgrace to womankind.

phoenixrosehere · 12/02/2022 17:38

*Murder?

Don't be so dramatic!!

Manslaughter, death by da heroes driving?

If you think you're going to murder someone by driving, keep off the fucking roads,*

So you are cursing at someone and telling them to stay off the roads when they have already said they don’t drive with a really good reason why and I’m the dramatic one?

Regardless of intention or not, I don’t want to be responsible for seriously injuring or killing someone for something I don’t have to do or need to do.

NerrSnerr · 12/02/2022 17:45

very strongly encourage parents to get lessons for their kids as soon as they are old enough! And ideally have a car where said kids can drive from day 1.

I agree with this and my children will have lessons when they're 17. I didn't learn until my late 20s as I couldn't afford it before and it was hard work, I don't believe it would have been as hard 10 years earlier.

I am fine driving now, happy on motorways and go everywhere.

BABAHOTEL · 12/02/2022 17:45

@phoenixrosehere

*Murder?

Don't be so dramatic!!

Manslaughter, death by da heroes driving?

If you think you're going to murder someone by driving, keep off the fucking roads,*

So you are cursing at someone and telling them to stay off the roads when they have already said they don’t drive with a really good reason why and I’m the dramatic one?

Regardless of intention or not, I don’t want to be responsible for seriously injuring or killing someone for something I don’t have to do or need to do.

If you think you're going to kill someone's because you're driving is so bad.... keep off the road!!

Jesus, why would you put it to the test?

Topseyt · 12/02/2022 17:46

I think it's super pathetic to be honest to not be able to drive properly. I do judge people who can't. I don't care what you think of that. I get judged every day for things I do. This one I find super pathetic and I think women need to get on with it.

I don't like driving and really couldn't give a shit whether people like you find that super pathetic or not. I'd rather take the train on long journeys so that I can relax and sit reading my book.

If that means I am super pathetic and letting the sisterhood down is some way then so be it. I am happy as I am.

You do you. Does it really matter what anyone else does or doesn't do?

HelpMeHiveMind · 12/02/2022 17:46

YABU. Exactly what @BaruFisher says. I'm a very nervous driver, won't drive motorways and it has zero to do with being female or scared of men on the roads and everything to do with the fact that my spatial awareness is shocking, I find it very difficult to judge when to pull out or move out / in on a motorway and while yes, I'm very sure it would improve with regular practise, it's not ideal to be learning in a situation where a split second error could cost not only your own life, but that of many others around you.

The one thing I WILL say that possibly differentiates the genders is that men are less likely to be driving - or learning to drive - with small children in the car. So perhaps they are more willing to gamble with their safety than mothers are. I know that even if I'd risk myself, I absolutely wouldn't put my kids in that position because I can't confidently say I'm safe to look after them in it. And a number of instructors have confirmed the same - even with dual control etc I've been told I'm just not safe on the motorway, although I'm a passable driver on quiter smaller roads for school runs.

ShiftingSands21 · 12/02/2022 17:54

This thread is sexist and judgy. Good job.

BABAHOTEL · 12/02/2022 17:57

@ShiftingSands21

This thread is sexist and judgy. Good job.

Is it?

thewhatsit · 12/02/2022 17:58

Wow, this is so awful.

I don’t drive - I’ve tried and somehow managed to pass a test. The last time I got up the nerve to have another go and I managed to get stuck on a curb about 25 metres from where I’d started.

It’s not anything to do with male drivers by the way. I’ve never had any problem with anyone being aggressive.

We can’t all be good at everything. I can do a tax return with my eyes closed. I’ve passed every exam I’ve ever taken - via the driving one - with the highest grade on offer. I can do basic DIY in the house. I can’t fucking drive.

Hummingbirdcake · 12/02/2022 17:58

If people feel that they are not good enough drivers and therefore avoid it surely that’s better than being overconfident and putting yourself and others at risk?

CounsellorTroi · 12/02/2022 17:59

I do understand fear of driving, there’s a lot hanging on one’s ability to drive safely. OTOH……some people are afraid of flying but will quite happily get into a car even though the latter is much more dangerous statistically speaking.

dahliaaa · 12/02/2022 18:00

I'm a confident driver. Drive thousands of miles every year for work.
It wouldn't enter my head to criticise other people who don't feel so confident doing it.

TatianaBis · 12/02/2022 18:03

@thewhatsit

Lack of desire to drive aside - which is up to you -

Do you feel like you had enough lessons if you drove into a curb?

Do you not feel like you could improve with practice?

I find all this interesting.

thewhatsit · 12/02/2022 18:04

@Hummingbirdcake

If people feel that they are not good enough drivers and therefore avoid it surely that’s better than being overconfident and putting yourself and others at risk?

I mean this is how I feel about it. Look I’m a big enough person to say, I have a driving licence and use of a car but I know I’m not a safe driver (my driving instructor didn’t even want me driving home after I eventually passed my gazzillionth test, which was a fluke because we didn’t go the way that had all the width restrictions - which I have never once managed to get through) … I’m a confident enough person generally to say that of all the things in the world this one is not for me and I will just accept that and stick to the things I am good at.

phoenixrosehere · 12/02/2022 18:06

*If you think you're going to kill someone's because you're driving is so bad.... keep off the road!!

Jesus, why would you put it to the test?*

Jesus, where’s your reading comprehension and why do you keep yelling?

I don’t drive whatsoever. I have not been behind the wheel of a car since 2012 and that was practicing on a parking lot. Before that I was behind the wheel in 2003. I learned in secondary under an instructor on the road and even though I did well, received a permit, I wasn’t comfortable nor enjoyed it. After being in accidents as a passenger, watching most of the people I know go 0 to 100 in anger when they’re behind the wheel, nearly being killed by bad drivers just walking and having a friend whose life was dramatically shortened after being in a car accident at 18 where she nearly died, couldn’t walk again, had to relearn everything, only to fall into a coma and died at 24 from the injuries she suffered, I rather not drive.

You could be the best driver in the world and all it takes is one mistake that can hurt someone. I don’t like driving, never have nor want to take the chance small or not on hurting someone while I’m behind the wheel regardless if it is my fault or theirs. I know my limits and my comfort zone and driving is not one of them. If that’s dramatic, fine but I can easily say I’m more than happy to live with that.

TatianaBis · 12/02/2022 18:07

My take is that with x number of lessons, you pass your test - most people are not terribly proficient at that point - if those lessons are the only driving they've done.

I did masses of driving practice before I took my test and I'm sure that made all the difference in the world.

I wonder if some people think when they pass their test - this is as good as they will ever be - and so give up. Whereas in fact most people improve significantly in their first 5 years.

MacaroniCheeseCat · 12/02/2022 18:07

I have been the nervous person, and the one who does most of the driving in our household.

In my experience, in many heterosexual couples, the norm is that the man drives on all family outings. This may mean the woman only does short journeys locally as the man “doesn’t like being a passenger” or doesn’t like managing the kids, or keeps mansplaining when she drives instead of supporting her to get past her nerves. Eventually the routine is set that he does most of the driving and so she has no confidence in her ability to tackle a motorway. This does not make her in any way pathetic. I can absolutely see how it happens - and unless you have a degree of determination, unlimited access to a vehicle and passengers who aren’t going to be mansplaining twats, the odds are not in your favour to get past it.

I’ve had long breaks from driving due to not having a car and also have issues with anxiety. For me, the only way to get past it was to drive - on every type of road, at every opportunity. I was able to do this as I had unlimited access to the car. Also, I was determined not to become someone with a licence who effectively couldn’t drive or who had to censor journeys depending on what road was involved.

And I had a supportive DH, who is actually the less confident driver out of the two of us and wasn’t driving when we first got our car - so I had to drive.

ChristmasCrackered · 12/02/2022 18:08

I hate driving, always feel I might die or kill my family.

Over a million people die in car accidents every year in the world. It seems crazy up me that driving is actually allowed. I just hope driverless cars come along soon!

There are probably plenty of men who don’t like driving either but it would be more embarrassing / less socially acceptable for them to be open about it.

Nidan2Sandan · 12/02/2022 18:10

I dont think a nervous driver should be on the road, full stop. If you're not capable of jumping in your car and driving anywhere, you shouldn't be driving.

So, whilst I agree with you in so far as I dont understand the level of nerves people have driving and yes, mostly women. I'd be happier if they stayed off the road altogether and let their "man" do the driving if needs be. If they're pootling down a clear 60mph road at 40mph because they're scared , they're a risk.

Equally, speeders and aggressive drivers should also get off the road. Both types of driver are as bad as each other.

Topseyt · 12/02/2022 18:10

@dahliaaa

I'm a confident driver. Drive thousands of miles every year for work. It wouldn't enter my head to criticise other people who don't feel so confident doing it.

Thank you for that post. It appreciates that we are all different.

Not all of us take naturally to driving, whether women or men. I don't and never will. I'm not bothered about being in that category at all because I am happier not driving.