Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

[unfeelingwife]

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

@unfeelingwife

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

I dont drive at night because as I have gotten older my night vision has gotten worse, the lights on cars have gotten brighter as well, so for at least a 1 maybe 2 seconds I am blind and thats all it takes to kill us all doing 70 on the motorway

Haven't had a chance to read this thread yet, but I stopped driving at the time I started menopause. I have tried in the years since, even buying two cars at different times but I just had to give up, having anxiety over it, it made it impossible. If I was going anywhere, even a well known route I had to go over and over in my mind the way to go and what lane etc, it was just to stressful in the end.
its annoying as I live alone now and end up not going to places as It's hassle getting there.

You’re fucking right OP!
I just passed and after being yelled at by DP’s uncle (as a learner) my confidence was rock bottom. I was close to test standard before stupidly practicing with him. Took my lovely instructor 2 months to correct the damage.

Honestly women should trust themselves, watch YouTube driving and if you stall, or are too slow etc do not worry, put P plates on and GO. The majority of drivers have been nice to me, even truck let me through as a P, only one person beeped.

Everyone was new once, and it’s a hell of a lot harder as a newly passed nowadays because of the sheer volume of cars.

The best is my idiot non-driver DP who comments on my driving EVERY TIME he gets in the car. If you’re so brilliant I said why haven’t you gotten your license? He still tries to give me advice, but I just repeat the above and if he really annoys me I’m stealing his provisional, booking him in for the theory and sending him in unless he STFU.

I decided to stop driving after my latest accident (my fault due to my lack of spatial awareness). I was given a police caution and two cars were written off. Do you really think I should keep driving until I injure or kill someone?

@Crumbleburntbits

I decided to stop driving after my latest accident (my fault due to my lack of spatial awareness). I was given a police caution and two cars were written off. Do you really think I should keep driving until I injure or kill someone?

Only if the police were men because patriarchy according to the op

@ZealAndArdour

Wonder how many of them have had a dad/boyfriend/husband/male sat in the passenger seat criticising their driving at some point (or continually) which has had a cumulative effect on their confidence on the roads, when combined with acts of road rage from other road users, and non-courteous driving inflicted on them?

My driving is constantly criticised by my dad or my boyfriend, the the point now that if I’m having even the slightest bad day or feeling a bit off colour my boyfriend will do a patronising “shall I drive?” and head tilt thing insinuating that I’m not capable.

The only accident I’ve ever had in 15 years of driving was taking it too tight into my dads drive way one time in the dark and scraping the side of my car, so that would suggest I’m not really a danger to anyone else on the road. Yet the frequent criticisers have had a variety of points and fines and accidents.

This resonates with me. I consider myself a confident driver nowadays, but that wasn't always the case.

It took me too long to realise that my husband's "helpful" driving tips were actually causing me more stress and making me a worse driver. The last straw was when he reached over and beeped my horn while I was driving. Who the fuck did he think he was? I was driving, it was my car, I was in charge. We had a massive row, I told him that he needed to shut the fuck up if he was a passenger in my car or I wouldn't be letting him in my car.

That was over a decade ago and luckily, he did take this on board and vastly improved his attitude towards my driving and behaviour in my car. Or we probably wouldn't be together anymore.

Getting a satnav (and now google maps being on my phone) was the next step in improving my confidence. The only thing that stresses me out now about driving somewhere new is whether there is somewhere to park!

I have a driving licence - passed theory and practical first time. Without an instructor in the car, I have never driven without a crash or near crash. One would have killed me and my children, it was pure luck we were safe.

I am an unconfident driver, with incredibly poor spacial awareness and piss poor coordination. I am also painfully easily distracted. Just this week, I have opened a door in to my face and walked in to 2 walls. I have also fallen over while still and upright and do so frequently.

For the safety of myself, my family and the general public, I decided that license or no, I clearly should not be driving. I think it's best it stays that way, rather than 'womaning up' really.

I don't care what your sex is, if you are scared of driving you shouldn't be on the road.

@sanbeiji

You’re fucking right OP! I just passed and after being yelled at by DP’s uncle (as a learner) my confidence was rock bottom. I was close to test standard before stupidly practicing with him. Took my lovely instructor 2 months to correct the damage.

Honestly women should trust themselves, watch YouTube driving and if you stall, or are too slow etc do not worry, put P plates on and GO. The majority of drivers have been nice to me, even truck let me through as a P, only one person beeped.

Everyone was new once, and it’s a hell of a lot harder as a newly passed nowadays because of the sheer volume of cars.

The best is my idiot non-driver DP who comments on my driving EVERY TIME he gets in the car. If you’re so brilliant I said why haven’t you gotten your license? He still tries to give me advice, but I just repeat the above and if he really annoys me I’m stealing his provisional, booking him in for the theory and sending him in unless he STFU.

I pulled over once when driving though Switzerland and told him and the other non driver passenger (my friends dh) to get out or shut up.

They haven't done it since.

@TheBlackJew

I love driving, always have. No issues, fairly confident on motorways, etc. But I'd never pull another woman down who wasn't as I would realise that there was a reason for this..

Thank you *@TheBlackJew*, neither would I I’ve been driving for 50 years now, never really enjoyed it but needs must. I hate night driving simply because I have early cataracts developing and poor night vision as a result. Hence not driving at night, not because I’m ‘pathetic’ according to OP 🙄 OP’s complete lack of empathy for those less confident and superior is unpleasant to say the least IMO.

Growing up, all my male friends learned to drive as soon as they turned 17. I'd say about half my female friends (including me) learned to drive. Now, they're a bit older (I'm a confident driver, not fussed about where I drive nor what I drive, but I'm not sure I'd like to learn from scratch now, at 17 I didn't think anything of it), they have other commitments (work, kids) and some of them are in low paid roles and don't have the spare cash for lessons or tests. They have partners who drive so they don't need it.

@LaurenKelsey

I live in the US and we don’t seem to have this. If you don’t drive, you’re stuck at home. I don’t know any non-driving adults.

And that's EXACTLY why I have never attempted to seek a job in the USA, even at times when there were far more job opportunities there than here. There are many things that are great in the USA, but if I lived there, I would either be stuck at home (all of life would be lockdown), or dead or seriously injured - and/or, worse, causing this to someone else -through trying to drive when unfit.

'job opportunities in my work area', I should have said.

I’ve been driving for 40 years and have done my fair share of long/scary journeys. But I drive very little now and tend to leave what driving there is to my husband. Why? Because he is a poor passenger and I’d far rather switch off and watch the scenery than have to contend with him back seat driving (nothing wrong with my driving btw, he’s just a nervous passenger). When I do drive him I frequently have to remind him through gritted teeth that I do know how to drive and do not need him to micromanage me.
It’s easier to leave him to drive

Ok we get it OP, men are amazed by your ability to drive, and cant believe how great you are, and your generalisation and opinion is that men have put women off driving and you just want them on to woman up and get on with it.
Why you felt the need to start a thread to tell women how super pathetic it is to not like driving is beyond me.
Disclaimer, I am a very confident driver, I drive everyday with lots of children in the car and do 50% of the driving when we go on hidays/days out etc. Just before I am accused of having a nerve hit.

@Herja

I have a driving licence - passed theory and practical first time. Without an instructor in the car, I have never driven without a crash or near crash. One would have killed me and my children, it was pure luck we were safe.

I am an unconfident driver, with incredibly poor spacial awareness and piss poor coordination. I am also painfully easily distracted. Just this week, I have opened a door in to my face and walked in to 2 walls. I have also fallen over while still and upright and do so frequently.

For the safety of myself, my family and the general public, I decided that license or no, I clearly should not be driving. I think it's best it stays that way, rather than 'womaning up' really.

Have you been assessed for dyspraxia? You sound like me but I was only diagnosed last year. It makes total sense though and explains a lifetime of stupid injuries and unexplained bruises. I have shitty proprioception, so I can't tell where my body is or what it's doing unless I'm looking at it (e.g. I have to look at my feet while walking, and I can't eat my dinner and watch TV because I have to look at my plate to see where my hand is putting the fork).

I think it weird being scared of the motorway, its just a straight line. Inner city driving is much more complicated with one way systems and bus lanes. Practice is the key, you just have to push yourself.

Am not scared of driving I don't trust other drivers tho! Who caused your accidents? An frankly the less people driving the better far to traffic as it is. why would you like even more cars on the road? Me an plenty off other non drivers don't effect you so why you so bothered?

I’ve got similar in my social circle. It means invariably I have to drive certain friends if it’s anywhere beyond a certain radius of our home town. I find it utterly bizarre as I love driving - I find the control I’ve got calming - so don’t get it at all.

I do think the less confident someone is the more likely they’ll choose an underpowered titchy car, which then makes them feel more vulnerable behind the wheel. Get a better car would be my advice, they might enjoy it a bit more!

@bozzabollix

I’ve got similar in my social circle. It means invariably I have to drive certain friends if it’s anywhere beyond a certain radius of our home town. I find it utterly bizarre as I love driving - I find the control I’ve got calming - so don’t get it at all.

I do think the less confident someone is the more likely they’ll choose an underpowered titchy car, which then makes them feel more vulnerable behind the wheel. Get a better car would be my advice, they might enjoy it a bit more!

It definitely can be inconvenient if several friends can't drive in the dark or on the motorway and refuse to get taxis or public transport and you're left having to give lifts to everyone all the time.

Like some PPs I am also poorly coordinated with appalling spatial awareness. If you saw me getting my lefts and rights confused in an exercise class, failing at all kinds of sports when growing up, and generally being clumsy in everyday life, you'd agree that I shouldn't drive.

People have phobias of spiders and snakes even though they aren't likely to hurt you in the UK. Whereas me getting into a driving seat would almost certainly lead to someone being injured or killed. When you think about the reality of driving for a moment - barrelling down the road in a metal box - and realise that just a momentary lapse of concentration could mean a fatal accident, don't you have any sympathy?

And no, I don't always ask non-drivers for lifts. I'm very happy on public transport and my own 2 feet. It's healthier and better for the environment anyway.

*Non drivers = drivers

@Herja

I have a driving licence - passed theory and practical first time. Without an instructor in the car, I have never driven without a crash or near crash. One would have killed me and my children, it was pure luck we were safe.

I am an unconfident driver, with incredibly poor spacial awareness and piss poor coordination. I am also painfully easily distracted. Just this week, I have opened a door in to my face and walked in to 2 walls. I have also fallen over while still and upright and do so frequently.

For the safety of myself, my family and the general public, I decided that license or no, I clearly should not be driving. I think it's best it stays that way, rather than 'womaning up' really.

There are two issues here. One - people with conditions making them an unsafe driver shouldn't be on the roads. Fair enough, You sound like you have undiagnosed dyspraxia. Similarly, people with anxiety/panic attacks/what have you.

Two - people who pass and just decide not to drive, or don't want to.

I'm not claiming I'm great. I get it. Building my confidence has been a very long, and expensive journey. one of the HARDEST things in my life quite frankly. I watched loads of videos, paid therapists etc and was so close to giving up so many times. You name it, I tried it.

But I didn't, because giving up was NOT an option. I'm free now. Especially with the wreckage public transport has become thanks to Covid. I can choose a gym wherever I want, go to takeaways wherever I want, instead of worrying about whether the bus will turn up.

NOW - if someone has issues with driving, tried everything they could, and then is still not a safe driver or can't, fair enough. Props to them, they tried. Or people who don't have enough money

What I don't understand is people who just... don't even try. Don't look for any tips online. Don't try even with pass plus. Just happy to hand it all over to someone else.

Maybe it's just me, but I hate being dependent on people, and I want to go everywhere. I'm not incapable of taking public transport either, I've been doing it for the better part of a decade.

I'm just very vocal about this because the MAJORITY of the times, there's nothing wrong with the person's driving ability. They've just been criticized to within an inch of their life. Usually by men. And that's destroyed everything. I myself thought I was a shit driver until I got a better instructor and ignored everyone else.

Newsflash : Plenty of people, even those who have been driving for decades are shit driver. The uncle who yelled at me .. when I was last in the car he got lost on a roundabout, cut across lanes dangerously, and ran red lights. Twice in a row.

Empty vessels make the most noise.