Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

[unfeelingwife]

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

In my circle, 4 out of 5 men couldn't drive when we first met (12ish years ago). Only 1 has learnt. All the women drive.

I realise how awful this comment is and am fully aware it is not a blanket statement, I am raising my eyebrows at myself but.... living in the outskirts of London most men have "big important London jobs" and women tend to have more local jobs so it's the women that drive to work, and therefore drive to childcare and shops etc. so the "big important men" have no need to drive.

I don't want to learn to drive. I don't care if you don't like it. I don't ask for lifts so it's no one else's business.

@unfeelingwife your original post was fine questioning why some women aren't confident driving. You lost it when you said super pathetic.
I've been driving 45 years, since I was 17. Nothing much fazed me then, although there was a lot less traffic, motorways weren't as busy and long journeys tended to be just for holidays.
A bad experience driving can have ongoing consequences just the same as any other bad experience.
I will be the first to admit I avoid motorway driving and let my husband do it. If I had to I would but if someone else is better at it then it's the right thing for us. He hates normal road driving so I do it. Again if he had to he would.
Maybe yours is an unusual circle of friends. All mine drive, and my daughters circle in their 30's all drive to.

Plus, the OP has now responded to you and clearly just doesn't give a shit anyway. Her opinion isn't going to be changed by anyone on here, she just wants to judge people.

You clearly just didn't read my actual response at all then, did you. Maybe brush up on your reading comprehension.

It's not because I'm too scared though. I just don't want the expense of lessons. I have never once encountered a situation where I couldn't get somewhere without a car so I don't feel the need.

@Waxonwaxoff0

It's not because I'm too scared though. I just don't want the expense of lessons. I have never once encountered a situation where I couldn't get somewhere without a car so I don't feel the need.

Good. It doesn't sound like men have put you off by bullying you. You just don't want to drive, which is fair enough.

Who designed roads, road signs, cars and who evolved the micro and macro aggressions of driving culture?

Is it a female/ mother/ mother and child/ mother and children - friendly experience?

Do garages feel welcoming to women? Are there lots of women mechanics ?

Is Top Gear a gender neutral tv programme…

Etc

I live in the US and we don’t seem to have this. If you don’t drive, you’re stuck at home. I don’t know any non-driving adults.

You judge me for not driving, I judge you for being an intolerant arsehole. Tis the way of the world.

@unfeelingwife

Plus, the OP has now responded to you and clearly just doesn't give a shit anyway. Her opinion isn't going to be changed by anyone on here, she just wants to judge people.

You clearly just didn't read my actual response at all then, did you. Maybe brush up on your reading comprehension.

I'm dyslexic too

It was more the tone of your response rather than what you were saying. "Yeah I mean I'm not going to feel like shit about any of this" reads like "pffft, not my fucking problem". I didn't actually list any of those things to make you feel like shit, it was just to show that not every woman dislikes driving purely because they're afraid of men. It too complex an issue to just write people off as being pathetic when you have no idea of their reasons.

My husband never learned to drive because he's scared so it's not just women.

@RestingMurderousFace

You judge me for not driving, I judge you for being an intolerant arsehole. Tis the way of the world.

Really has wound some people up hasn't it.

@amusedbush I'm not going to feel bad about any of this, doesn't mean I haven't taken the responses on board. But people calling me an arsehole etc is not going to get to me.

Really has wound some people up hasn't it.

Again, this is what I mean when I say your tone is shite. You sound combative, lacking in any compassion and just determined to stick to your guns. Even though your "guns" are just an assumption you've made and not based on anything anyone on this thread has told you.

It’s interesting on MN what we are allowed to judge and what we aren’t.
So I can’t judge someone shouting and screaming at their children because ‘they might be having a bad day’. I can’t judge a fat person as they probably have ‘health issues’. Or I can’t criticise someone who has numerous days off work because they have poor mental health.
Good to know I can criticise nervous drivers I’m sure that will help them.

@amusedbush

Really has wound some people up hasn't it.

Again, this is what I mean when I say your tone is shite. You sound combative, lacking in any compassion and just determined to stick to your guns. Even though your "guns" are just an assumption you've made and not based on anything anyone on this thread has told you.

the gist of what I was saying was about women who are put off by driving because they're afraid of people ( men usually ) thinking they're bad drivers and trying to put them off. We shouldn't stand for it.

I don't genuinely think people who are unable to drive because they're disabled are pathetic, or people who for some reason have flashbacks and panic attacks etc

There it is again, please read.

But how do you know the reasons other people can’t or don’t drive?

@Inspectorslack

But how do you know the reasons other people can’t or don’t drive?

I don't. But if it's caused by men intimidating them on the road, then it's a real shame.

I hear ya OP. There are way too many women on here who can't drive. And fear seems to be a key factor.

But women are the safer drivers. Men hold 90% + of 'dangerous driving' and 'causing death by dangerous driving' convictions.

Why not blame the men then rather than the women? Your way round is a bit victim blaming.

unfeelingwife I hear you about women shying away from being demeaned and belittled by aggressive male judgments.

This is something that women are working on across the entire spectrum of human experience. The problem is male dominance, and female withdrawal.

Your “woman up” injunction might just have sounded like a jeering voice instead of an encouraging one. Hard to gage tone on the internet and all that.

I have read it and I understand that you are not talking about disabilities. You're now not reading my post.

What I'm saying is, you have assumed that women who are nervous are all afraid of being judged by people (i.e. men). However, they might just be nervous because driving at speed is a huge responsibility and an accident could kill you. People aren't obligated to tell you why they are nervous so you don't really know their reasons, you are just assuming and insisting that it's fact.

Must admit, I have been rather surprised by the number of women on this thread admitting they are nervous of driving or don’t drive at all.
I thought my mother’s generation was the last one where this was true - I was born in the 50s, and all my female contemporaries at school couldn’t wait to start driving lessons as soon as they hit 17. It was very much the era of “Women’s Lib”, and having one’s own car keys was a symbol of freedom.
I love driving - used to do over 100mph when on call as a junior doc, happily split the driving with DH on touring holidays, including doing 110mph on German autobahnen with no speed limit.
My DDs actually bought me an hour’s tuition with a racing driver as a birthday present a few years ago! The card from them read “Now you can do it legally..!”
I think any woman who is nervous needs to drive more, not less, to build experience and confidence. If like me, you are widowed young, you will have no choice but to be sole driver.

@amusedbush

I have read it and I understand that you are not talking about disabilities. You're now not reading my post.

What I'm saying is, you have assumed that women who are nervous are all afraid of being judged by people (i.e. men). However, they might just be nervous because driving at speed is a huge responsibility and an accident could kill you. People aren't obligated to tell you why they are nervous so you don't really know their reasons, you are just assuming and insisting that it's fact.

This is what I’m trying to say.

Fairly obvious point but the only way to become a confident driver is through practice. Women I’ve known who’ve been nervous or unwilling drivers haven’t driven very much, perhaps because there was only one car and partner usually drove it.

I don't drive - tried learning when I was 17, didn't enjoy it, thought "not for me". I don't expect DP to drive me anywhere (just as well because he doesn't drive either!). BIL occasionally offers a lift which I always turn down because he's the most aggressive driver I've ever come across and I'd sooner get a bus than be stuck in a car with him.

Genuinely don't understand people who judge other people's choices though - I don't give any head space thinking about who does and doesn't drive, couldn't be less interested. And I NEVER ask for lifts anywhere in case that gets brought up.