Why are there so many scared woman drivers ? Woman up and learn how to drive !

[unfeelingwife]

I've seen so many posts about scared women drivers.

What's that all about ? Why can't women drive confidently ? Is it because men are arseholes on the roads ? I know a few women in real life who won't drive on motorways or when it's dark etc.

Why ?? Why are there fewer men who are scared to drive ? Or is that just in my circle ? I drive everywhere, including long road trips to different countries, with my babies and I'm just not scared. I know women who just refuse to drive and their husbands drive them around....

Ive been in a few accidents, by the way. It hasn't put me off. Everyone is different of course, but is it men who've put women off driving ? With their shouting and insults/ road rage ?

@Kendodd

I have a female friend whose husband used to criticise her (perfectly good) driving. She got so fed up with it one day she told him that he could drive from now on then. Now whenever they go anywhere, he has to drive, long distance, nights out (no drinks for him) everywhere. My friend is a perfectly confident driver and will happily drive anywhere, anytime. Just not with him in the car. I bet he wishes he'd kept his mouth shut

Serves him right. I hate being driven by my DH he drives like a bank robber. He's had several quite bad accidents and written off 3 cars so yeah there's that.

@roastedsaltedpeanut

I am a great driver with great spatial awareness. I park better than most men I know and I can squeeze my car through tiniest spaces. I drive at least 50 miles a day that’s included motorway, country lane and city roads. I won’t let men bully me on the road. I can sense their anger towards me and I daren’t look them in the eyes at the traffic lights. I never scroll my windows down anymore when they ask me to, no matter how nicely they ask. As I know I will be called a bitch/cow/c**T if I dare to engage. But I almost always ‘win’ so…Jokes on them! I honk back if they dare to honk at me because I know I haven’t broken any rules. Once a man was hurling abuse at me and I pointed and laughed, funnily enough he shrank back and hid immediately. Road rage cowards.

I really think that some men are just out to piss us off on the road. They literally want to bully us off the road. I think it's some sort of hobby for som dick heads.

don't let the judgement of others thinking you're a bad driver, put you off. It's a shame I don't disagree with that at all.

I'm a confident driver (see below post) who has no trouble giving other drivers obscene hand gestures and using my horn. But I'm a very nervous passenger, and prefer to sit in the back seat

@unfeelingwife

I just think it's a shame when women let men put them off, that's all. Just go for it ! If it's another reason, like some sort of phobia, OK. But don't let the judgement of others thinking you're a bad driver, put you off. It's a shame.

Again, my opining and generalising. Like I've said about all my posts !

But you're judging!!

Why is it always driving that brings out the judgement of women on women?

Some women drive, some don't. Some are excellent drivers, some not so much.

Nothing to do with you! Take a break and go judge them for something else.

It's very possible that male arseholery and criticism from male partners has something to do with it. My late husband sometimes tried to comment on my driving. He didn't get very far because 1) I'm a confident driver and 2) he didn't have a bloody license himself! I tended to bite his head off every time he did it and the frequency dwindled a lot - but he never quite stopped. Perhaps we should all be firm when passengers criticise our driving.

Why aren’t you judging the men then rather than the women?

[quote unfeelingwife]@viques I already said I get judged everyday ! I'm not perfect in any way shape or form. I just think it's sad when men have put women off driving and that's how I see it.

I'm terrified of spiders. It's so pathetic ! You can judge me all you want on that and on my relationship and life. It is what it is. [/quote]
I don’t think I have judged you at all on this thread.

@viques I tagged you wrongly, sorry

@unfeelingwife does feel like you are winding your neck in a bit now.

Not me.
I've driven the family from central England to the south of France. No Sat Nav so DH was my navigator. I notice that men tend to do the driving in a family situation. Having daughters I made sure this was not the case.

I have no beef with anyone of either sex who doesn't drive, whether that be for ecological reasons or because they are afraid to. What really annoys me is one I know who always tries to pretend it's for green reasons and talks about 'nasty polluting cars,' when she is rich enough to afford a huge house near the city centre so doesn't need to drive, but pre-pandemic she took flights to her second home abroad 6 times a year. I don't want to be sneered at for driving a 'nasty polluting car' when it is what allows me to get to my keyworker job in another city, while she has a far greater carbon footprint and won't admit that the real reason she doesn't drive is that she's scared, and being loaded she has no compassion for anyone who lives in the cheaper villages outside the city and then has to drive in to work because the public transport is shit. Rant over! Seriously though, I do feel it is a feminist issue. I hated learning to drive but my mum basically forced me and said in this day and age no woman should rely on a man and being able to drive is independence. I can't thank her enough for that.

I'm a genuinely excellent driver and really enjoyed it until I had a baby. Then something switched in me and I became nervous. What I need is a chance to reassert my ability without some precious little people in the car but I don't really get the chance.

I can't answer for other women, and I'm sure for some what you have said about fear does apply. Not the pathetic comment, that was ridiculous.

I don't have a driving license for two reasons.

Psychological, I'm not afraid of men or confrontation or anything like that. I am terrified of killing someone . I have nightmares about it even though I'm not driving.

Physical. My straight is slightly left ,sometimes a bit more than slightly, and it doesn't affect me much in real life, except for the fact that nothing is fucking straight. On the road though, especially if busy it can be a real issue. Poor spacial awareness,hand eye coordination and a tendency to flap for a few seconds when scared/overwhelmed don't help either. This doesn't make a safe driver, which in turn it makes my fear of hurting someone even worse.

Okay, I'll look past your cunty views on the subject and I'll bite.

I'm dyspraxic, so coordination and spatial awareness are difficult. I'm also short and cars are designed for men, so even with my seat up as high as it goes, I can't see the end of the bonnet. All of that makes parking in a busy carpark with tight spaces difficult.

I suffer badly with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is a very common trait in neurodivergent people (I'm autistic and have ADHD). If someone gets angry with me or I make a mistake, the humiliation I feel is unbearable. It makes me want to burst into tears and never leave my house again. If you're not familiar with RSD, look it up before you roll your eyes and write it off as me being pathetic - it is a well established phenomenon in ND people.

I have a significant astigmatism, which makes night driving awful. The lights stretch out and warp in front of my eyes and the last time I drove in the rain at night, the wet road reflected every street light and headlight and I couldn't see any of the road markings. I had never driven that route before and it was scary.

I passed my test in an automatic when I was 25 and didn't drive again until I was 29 (now almost 32). I have driven longer distances, on the motorway, on country roads, in cities. I practice the route on Street View beforehand and I use sat nav. I have never driven on the motorway in the dark because I don't feel safe and I won't apologise for it. I am a very safe, attentive driver, I keep up with the pace of the traffic and I never pose a hazard. Nobody knows I'm nervous but me - you'll never find me pootling along, dithering and causing an obstruction.

But, of course, I'm pathetic. Whereas my brother is incredibly confident. He lost his licence for driving without due care and attention twice, had to retake his test to get it back, pays thousands in insurance every year because of that, and even after that he wrapped his car around a tree while speeding along a winding coastal road in the pitch black. Frankly, I'm glad we're not all as confident as him.

@amusedbush ah here we go, the inevitable lets-make-OP-feel-like-shit-when-we-know-she-didn’t-mean-people-with-disabilities

So predictable on here

I have several female relatives who won't drive long distance/on the motorway/abroad etc (who are perfectly competent drivers - in many cases at least as much so as their male partners). It does seem to be a 'thing'. I did a 250-mile round trip on my own recently to look at a car we were thinking of buying and my in-laws were very shocked about it. Whereas DH does those sort of trips for work often and they don't notice it.

When our kids were little, DH really hated the passenger-seat break-up-the-fights and pass-the-snacks job and over time started doing most of the long-journey driving. I've wrestled it back off him though, because I don't want to get deskilled. I really don't want to be the sort of woman who needs the man to do the 'big driving'.

I think it must be social conditioning. Of course there are people (many on this thread) who can't drive for medical reasons etc, and being a bit scared of being in charge of a vehicle on a motorway is quite logical if you think about it. But it's certainly true in my experience that more woman are 'little local' drivers than men, and there can't be a good physiological reason for that I don't think.

Oh, you're so great, aren't you, OP? Unlike those other woman.

F off.

[quote Cheekypeach]@amusedbush ah here we go, the inevitable lets-make-OP-feel-like-shit-when-we-know-she-didn’t-mean-people-with-disabilities

So predictable on here[/quote]
Yeah I mean I'm not going to feel like shit about any of this, but yeah the gist of what I was saying was about women who are put off by driving because they're afraid of people ( men usually ) thinking they're bad drivers and trying to put them off. We shouldn't stand for it.

I don't genuinely think people who are unable to drive because they're disabled are pathetic, or people who for some reason have flashbacks and panic attacks etc.

@GladysAndFred

Oh, you're so great, aren't you, OP? Unlike those other woman.

F off.

I'm really really not.

We know ;)

Not me!
I will happily slow right down to any arsehole who tailgates me..... confidently over take anyone..... and if anyone pulls up beside me at the lights..... 🚗 💨
Men often see my car (think boy racer type) and see me driving and think they can intimidate me..... Wrong!

[quote Cheekypeach]@amusedbush ah here we go, the inevitable lets-make-OP-feel-like-shit-when-we-know-she-didn’t-mean-people-with-disabilities

So predictable on here[/quote]
The OP asked "why are women afraid of driving?" - there was no nuance to that question so I listed my personal reasons. Saying that nervous drivers are "super pathetic" as a blanket statement is judgemental and reductive when there are an infinite number of reasons that someone might feel anxious about it. Steering a tonne of metal at 70mph is no joke so it's good not to get too cocky.

Plus, the OP has now responded to you and clearly just doesn't give a shit anyway. Her opinion isn't going to be changed by anyone on here, she just wants to judge people.

I’m 30 and can’t drive, to be honest I’ve always had a man willing to drive me, but it’s also been a money thing, only recently have I had enough spare cash for lessons & to buy car at the end. But I agree with OP, I probably would’ve saved and done it sooner had I not had a man to drive me, plus I know loads of women who always want the husband to drive particularly if it’s long distance. Then because they never get that practice they get a fear of it.

How do you know that the women you’re disparaging don’t have flashbacks or anxiety attacks?

I certainly didn’t tell anyone except very close family when I was struggling with it.

What age are you?

It’s easy to feel like that when it’s not you. Maybe try having some empathy for those who can’t drive confidently?