To never drive on a motorway

[Cheesechips]

I was a late learner, and passed my driving test in September last year. The thought of driving on motorways terrifies me. It's mainly having to join traffic from a slip road. Even 60mph roads scare the hell out me. I drive daily to work but it's a 3 mile trip round the outskirts of London which I'm very confident with, 20-30mph roads. How do you get over the fear of motorways or faster speeds, or did you come to terms with just not motorway driving? My husband is a very confident driver and is happy to do the motorway drives so it's not essential for me at the moment.

You can have passplus lessons for the motorway, might be worth looking in to.

Unfortunately you are a part of Britain where getting on the motorway means lots of traffic. I learned by initially taking quieter ones - but my h leaving me meant I had to step up and face my fears because I let someone 140 miles away. Still not the fondest of driving but I've driven all over now. Practice practice practice!

Motorway lessons.
Although my driving g instructor took me on dual carriageways as part of normal lessons as he said it was a vital skill.

Not unreasonable if you don’t want to do it. It will obvious affect where you can drive to and/or make your journeys longer but that’s a matter for you.

The only way of getting used to motorway driving is to bite the bullet and do it. Just after I passed my test (20 years ago) I remember going out to a stretch of motorway near my home at a quiet time of day and just driving from one junction to the next and then back again.

Motorways around London skew your perception a bit. My advise is next time you go somewhere drive back. I always find it easier driving back to London, you’ve relaxed by the time you hit the crazy!

I'm the same OP. I was involved in a car accident (not my fault) and lost my confidence after that.

I just poodle around mine and the next couple of towns, taking the quiet roads.

Suits me just fine.

You just have to do it to build up the confidence, as with any part of driving. Start with dual carriageways - exactly the same technique to get on and off but fewer lanes to monitor once you're on and driving. Would your husband be happy to sit alongside you and give advice while you practise?

Seriously, it becomes a mundane part of driving once you've got used to it.

Get some lessons. It’s ridiculously limiting to never go on a motorway. You could also start on larger A roads such as the A3 where some junctions are not dissimilar to getting on/off motorways.

If you don’t need to do motorways then don’t. Much better to know your limitations when it comes to driving.

If you need to or want to I would look at getting some motorway lessons

1. book some motorway driving lessons
2. London is massively congested and polluted. Unless you have a specific imperative to drive cycle to work! Short journeys in London are a scourge!

I had to drive on motorways for work a few years after passing by test, having avoided them up until that point.

Luckily for me, although not realising it at the time, my first trips were when the roads were much quieter as we were coming out of the first lockdown. I started doing short trips (max 20 minutes on actual motorways) and have built up.

Can you practise early on Sunday mornings, driving for a couple of junctions then turning back? I agree that entering/exiting/changing lanes is the scary part so this could build your confidence?

YABU - get some motorway lessons and build up your confidence.

In the meantime, the best tip about joining a motorway on the slip road is you need to match the speed of the traffic your joining - don't go slow or slow down, it's much more dangerous and scary for you. You may already know that - but I didn't until my husband told me (he's a blue light driver) and I found it (weirdly) helpful.

Or be a passenger with a safe but confident driver - if you can find someone who's an institute of advanced motorists member/ blue light driver that would be good. Being a passenger with my husband massively improved my driving as he would bore on talk about what he was doing and what other people were doing wrong. I learnt loads.

I've been driving for years now and have driven on a motorway a grand total of once (for just over 10 miles ). It just hasn't been needed due to where I live and travel to, and a partner who likes driving. The idea of it still scares me a bit.

I think if I needed to start motorway driving for any reason I'd definitely try for some quiet times and practice a few times. Or motorway lessons (is that crazy after almost 10 years of driving?)

Get some lessons. And remember that motorways are safer than 'normal' roads.

I passed and got my car a couple of months before Xmas several years ago. I gained confidence by practicing on Christmas day and new year's Day morning. The roads were dead so I could practice getting up to speed on the on ramps and signalling and just the vastness of the road with much fewer cars. I love motorway driving now. Much more than city driving.

I agree with those suggesting motorway lessons.

I drove on a motorway days after passing my test, I was petrified but it wasn’t that scary. I live rural so it’s not something I have to do daily, I only really use them when we go on holiday and if I can avoid them I do, not because they are hard to drive on but because I find them really boring. If on one for too long it’s easy to lose concentration. Getting in and off is pretty easy especially if you have sat nav as it will tell you what lane you need to be in.

I’d book yourself some motorway lessons to increase your confidence. Then try driving some faster roads with your dh in the passenger seat, prepared to take over when you’ve had enough. Maybe just drive to the nearest service station on your first run. The idea of motorways is far more scary than the reality, ime.

I was a very unconfident driver when I first passed, and even now I prefer to have dh (a non-driver) with me on unfamiliar routes! However, I would always choose motorway/dual carriageway driving over a fast single lane A road. I don’t feel so pressured, as other drivers can overtake easily, so, maybe counter-intuitively, motorways are an easier environment for getting used to faster speeds, imo. And the more you do it, the more confident you’ll become, honestly!

Motorways round London (especially the M25 and the M1) are absolutely horrible. I had to drive the M25 during lockdown when it was virtually empty and even then you could guarantee that 1 vehicle in 3 was a middle lane hogger.

That said, statistically I believe motorways are the safest places to drive. Lots of good advice above.

I would say drive as you are comfortable with and get experience for a couple of years and then consider some motorway driving lessons. It takes time and that’s fine!

I passed my test late (40) and was adamant I would never drive on a motorway. I then had a situation where I had to get papers to my solicitor re child custody so I just took a deep breath and did it! I actually now prefer motorway driving! Definitely see if you can get some extra lessons, you may actually not mind it like me. Good luck

Do whatever you’re comfortable with. My MIL won’t drive on motorways and it suits her fine. She has to come on the motorway to come to us, my FIL brings her or I pick her up half way. No bother to us. I think it’s good that she can identify what she is and isn’t comfortable with. It’s horrible when you have that panic in a car and you’re in control of the car and I would hate for her to feel that.

You don't have to drive on a motorway if you don't want to, it just requires more route planning. I haven't since having a panic attack over ten years ago. DH doesn't drive so I'm the family driver and we've still been able to go everywhere we want to, go on holiday etc.

I found learning some advanced driving techniques helpful to boost my confidence (I initially wanted to give up driving completely after the panic attack!), things like Passplus could help?

I went from no motorway driving to an hour’s commute each way mostly on them for years.
You get used to it really quickly and I like driving on the motorway now.
I agree that getting some lessons would be good. Learners get to go on now which can only be a good thing.

But if you really don’t want to then it’s fine.,Take the scenic route and allow a bit longer.

The problem is most ppl with this issue is they don't attempt to join from slip road at the neccesary speed which then causes the panic as they can't get on MW at right time.
You just need to go for it and build up your confidence, it's very limiting not using motorways.

Also finding a quieter time to practice is good - the M3 and M4 near London are rammed at some times of day and almost deserted at others so pick your time.
If you're elsewhere on holiday etc ones like the M180 never seem to have much traffic on them.