To never drive on a motorway

[Cheesechips]

I was a late learner, and passed my driving test in September last year. The thought of driving on motorways terrifies me. It's mainly having to join traffic from a slip road. Even 60mph roads scare the hell out me. I drive daily to work but it's a 3 mile trip round the outskirts of London which I'm very confident with, 20-30mph roads. How do you get over the fear of motorways or faster speeds, or did you come to terms with just not motorway driving? My husband is a very confident driver and is happy to do the motorway drives so it's not essential for me at the moment.

Same here op.i finally went on the motorway to and from my trip yesterday. It was a small one but it made me feel better. Find a shortish one and just go for it on a quiet time

As others have said, go for a motorway lesson. I did when I passed. Personally I think it should be compulsory!

Try all different types of slip roads. There's basically 3 types- from an over bridge where you go down hill to meet the motorway; from a roundabout where you go up to meet the motorway; and a tight looping access road.
Once you're on the motorway it's easier than 2 way traffic- anything coming towards you is on the far side of a crash barrier.

I'd say I'm a confident driver but still get a bit nervous on motorways. Not so much the speed I'm going but the speed of other cars and as you say, merging into traffic can be stressful. I also didn't really get taught when I was learning. I think if you don't have to do it and you'd prefer not to and it won't interfere with your life in anyway then don't but if you want to then maybe additional lessons? I think it's something that the more you do the more you get used to it but it can be nerve wracking so I understand how you are feeling.

Do extra lessons with an instructor to cover motorways to help build your confidence.

Thanks everyone, some really helpful suggestions. My driving instructor offers motorway lessons so I can ask him. I definitely know my limits at the moment so I think it's best I don't start driving on motorways until I'm ready and have had a couple of lessons. I drop my son off at the childminder so cycling isn't really an option and I'd be nervous of doing it on London roads! For now I'll just keep driving and build up my confidence. Husband will definitely be in the car with me when I first attempt it!

I've been driving two years and have never been on a motorway. I have no intentions to either. I have no need to drive on one but it would allow me to take my children on days out etc. I'm very frustrated with myself that I don't as I spent a lot of money learning to drive only to stay local. However it keeps myself and other road users safe that I'm not on a motorway when I'm not confident so it's just how things will need to be. I travel on the dual carriageway regularly with no problem but I do get a bit nervous joining when it's busier.

It is initially scary but I prefer motorway driving now - it’s much simpler than navigating traffic in towns. Have some lessons and then practice. I really got going when I had a national job and had no option!

I did pass plus with my instructor after passing my test. I'm so glad I did, because the motorway lesson was really really helpful and has stood me in good stead ever since. Highly recommend.

@PivotPivotPivottt

I've been driving two years and have never been on a motorway. I have no intentions to either. I have no need to drive on one but it would allow me to take my children on days out etc. I'm very frustrated with myself that I don't as I spent a lot of money learning to drive only to stay local. However it keeps myself and other road users safe that I'm not on a motorway when I'm not confident so it's just how things will need to be. I travel on the dual carriageway regularly with no problem but I do get a bit nervous joining when it's busier.

Don't feel bad. I'm so proud of myself for passing my test even though I'm still quite nervous. It's such an achievement if it doesn't come easily to you and you're making your whole families life a lot easier just by being able to drive. That's what I tell Mahler anyway

*Myself!

You only do it by doing it tbh
You can't get confident driving big roads from your armchair.

I was really nervous about joining motorways so asked my instructor to give me a lesson after I passed. I’m so glad I did as it gives me so much freedom.

I passed my driving test and immediately booked a weekend away for me and my family. A baptism of fire on a motorway is honestly the best way to get over the fear. Just make sure you are leaving a decent gap between you and the car in front and just ignore the person behind you and you will be fine I promise :)

Not all motorways are the same either I use the M1 a lot and prefer it to the M11 or M25 but it might be familiarity.
I had to do a long motorway drive one Boxing Day and couldn't get out of it as there were no trains so gritted my teeth and did it. You will feel a massive sense of accomplishment OP.
For me it now feels like I'm a fully paid up adult.
I disagree that it will be easier with your husband but then my ex was a nit-picking criticising wanker and one of the reasons I was so nervous driving. I still have his voice in my head shouting at me to check my blind spot though so at least that's helpful.

I don't drive on motorways. The M25 terrifies me. I'm happy to go the long way round.

Conversely I drive very happily on the motorways in France.

I had to eventually with my job, and it was gradual. It took me about four years after passing my test, to not be terrified on a motorway.

My mum has never done motorway driving, in 50 years of driving. She just takes the alternate route or gets my dad to drive.

If you've passed your test, you have all the skills needed to drive on a motorway. When you start driving, even pulling away is impossible but you master it and then you worry about the next skill and the next one and so on. You stop worrying about the ones you've nailed. Motorway driving is the same, except you don't realise until you've done it, but it's actually easier than a lot of other types of driving. If you'd like to master it, it's as simple as doing it. Either with a helpful friend/family member guiding you, practising at night or ideally, having some lessons. I think most good drivers worry about getting it right when they start out and that concern will keep you safe.

You absolutely can do this if you want to.

London motorways are horrible! Might be worth getting further afield to try them.
Off the top of my head, the M54 is often pretty dead, especially westbound. M1 going north on a weekend early morning is quiet. M4 westbound pretty quiet early weekends, as is M40 north.

As everyone has said, get some lessons to build up your confidence. It's important you get over this as if you aren't confident enough to use a motorway, you probably aren't safe to be on the road.

@DrDetriment

As everyone has said, get some lessons to build up your confidence. It's important you get over this as if you aren't confident enough to use a motorway, you probably aren't safe to be on the road.

I would disagree with that. But on all MN threads about driving it’s the rule that the OP gets told they shouldn’t be on the road.

You can be completely confident on non motorway roads.

If you can drive anywhere near London you will be absolutely FINE on a motorway, it’s far easier. Yes you do need to keep your speed up to close to the limit but you’ll very quickly get used to it. I learnt to drive later than all my peers and was nervous about the motorway too. I asked my fabulous driving instructor for lessons on them after passing and he refused saying the those that sell those lessons are charlatans. It’s exactly the same skills. Check mirrors and blind spots before changing lane. Keep pace with traffic. Drive carefully as you always would. His biggest tip was just to do it. Go to nearest motorway and just drive without having a destination. Then once it’s been done you just aren’t so nervous! I did a 300mile journey on 3 motorways 12 hours after passing and was never nervous again. Best advice anyone has ever given me. Wishing you the best of luck OP, you’ll be so pleased when all the roads are open to you, it’s like passing your test all over again 😊

I asked my fabulous driving instructor for lessons on them after passing and he refused saying the those that sell those lessons are charlatans

That’s quite an odd thing to say. Are you sure he just didn’t want to take you on the motorway?

Learners do have motorway lessons now though. DS2 got a full 2 hours up and down the M5 and M42. Got to love the variable speed limits and the wonderful idea that is the smart motorway.

Don't feel you have to drive on motorways because you feel that's what you should be doing, only do it if you wish to be able to drive further. I am a reasonably confident driver and have been driving 20 plus years, I rarely go on a motorway. If I wish to travel further, I'd rather catch the train anyhow. If driving locally suits you, then that's great.

Just grit your teeth and do it. I find the more you build it up in your head the more scared you become. I was a late learner too and I forced myself on the motorways ASAP after passing my test, doing very short drives of 1-2 junctions to practice coming off the slip road.

The M25 really isn't that bad and is no worse than any other motorway in traffic. Most people do move over when you're coming off the slip road. The trick is to ensure you are maintaining a decent speed.

Eventually you'll probably find motorway driving way easier than lots of things. I'd take the motorway any day over driving in a new town centre with lots of one way roads and tricky roundabouts, or having to parallel park while others are waiting which is my ultimate nightmare!