To never drive on a motorway

[Cheesechips]

I was a late learner, and passed my driving test in September last year. The thought of driving on motorways terrifies me. It's mainly having to join traffic from a slip road. Even 60mph roads scare the hell out me. I drive daily to work but it's a 3 mile trip round the outskirts of London which I'm very confident with, 20-30mph roads. How do you get over the fear of motorways or faster speeds, or did you come to terms with just not motorway driving? My husband is a very confident driver and is happy to do the motorway drives so it's not essential for me at the moment.

I don’t like driving on motorways and I got my licence 20 years ago. It’s the speed and busy nature of it. I have ADHD so my head is chaotic enough.

I do drive on them if I have to but it’s rare

You get over the fear by doing it. Honestly, that’s the boy way.

Took me about 5 years of I’m honest (also a late driver), but 15 years into driving I find motorway driving pretty straightforward and no longer have the fear of joining and exiting.

only way - nothing to do with boys!

I started driving in my 30s and found it difficult to become confident enough to pass my test. That's over 10 years ago now. I did one long motor way drive and hated it. I'm perfectly happy not to do it again.
I am a good, safe driver. I'm happy to drive in my comfort zone. I take public transport if I'm travelling farther afield and dh is happy to drive when we go anywhere together.
Lots of people can't drive at all.

I avoid motorways. I use them if I have to but prefer to take the long route if I can.

It depends how far you are travelling really.

Many are there too busy, too fast, too many idiot drivers.

It’s like jumping into a fast flowing river sometimes. Getting off is just as bad.

And how will you get about if something happens to your husband? Don't let this be something that holds you back, get confident on the roads and organise a few motorway lessons.
Motorway driving is actually easier that driving in the city, no pedestrians, cyclists or traffic lights and the traffic travelling in the same direction. Follow a few simple rules and off you go, with the help of an instructor at your side you'll be fine. Please go for it!

You get over the fear by doing it. Honestly, that’s the boy way.

The boy way? 🤨

My son is learning to drive at the moment and has been on the motorway. I was quite shocked to discover this, but it is a good idea to get learner drivers used to motorways.

Choose when you travel if you can OP.

Weekday rush-hours to be avoided if possible are 6am-10am and 4pm-8pm. The best time to travel on a motorway to avoid weekend congestion is early morning Saturday or after 6pm, before congestion becomes more likely around 11am Sunday.

Yabu

Go out in the daytime when it's quiet, do one junction then turn round and come back, go at 60 in the slow lane if you prefer, you won't be arrested!

Motorways are easier than A roads in my opinion, way fewer hazards to watch out for.

You'll be seriously limited as a driver if you don't go on motorways.

I'd recommend trying for the first time coming onto the motorway where you keep your lane and don't have to worry about pulling on from the slip road. Maybe just to the next junction and straight back off again. Then once you're used to the speed of things, try again with a standard slip road.

It definitely gets easier the more you do it. I remember feeling utterly exhausted on arrival when I first drove the 20ish miles up the M1 to Leeds, but now I'll drive anywhere on any sort of roads.

Having said that, if you want to avoid motorways, you're absolutely entitled to. You will see a lot more of the country too, travelling the minor roads!

When i passed at 17 and 1 month. I didn’t join by pass for a couple of years, now I’ve driven all over Europe and the US. Just take your time. I’m 45 now

I would definitely avoid the M25 to begin with. I have driven on just about every bit of motorway in the UK and everytime I have to go on the M25 I end up swearing a lot.

Motorways are easier and more straightforward to drive on than pretty much any other road in my experience... You can just pootle along in the slow lane without any of the more complex stuff like negotiating busy roundabouts or right turns into fast flowing traffic.

I understand about slip roads. When I first passed my test I was also terrified of them. I did do one advanced lesson to get the hang of them and that helped. However I still didn't like them and for a long time had no need to use a motorway.
However that did change. I am extremely fortunate that near me is a very very quiet motorway junction. Once I'd used that a few times in a row it got much less terrifying.
My first motorway trips were left hand lane only, too. It helped that I had an ancient Nissan Micra a the time that would ominously vibrate if pushed over 70, so I'd pootle along with the lorries.

Motorways are must easier than London traffic. If you’ve driven through any multi-lane junctions you can definitely deal with a motorway.

I wont drive on motorways where there is no hard shoulder, I think they are death traps !
Id like to use motorways more, but would always have to use the M25
round London area, terrifies me. Its the huge lorries thundering past so close that I hate.

There's not many tricks to driving on a motorway: match your speed when you join, don't undertake, keep your distance from the car in front, don't dither when you overtake, don't crawl in the middle lane. For the rest, it's just practice.

I passed my test 2 years ago, I was 40 when I passed. I think I have driven on a motorway once since. They terrify me. Not the getting on from the slip road, but the speed some people drive at, the knowing which lane to be in at which point. I'm hoping to start doing them, but I'm an anxious driver anyway.

I find getting on the motorway going 70mph is easier than dual carriageway of the same speed because you get a longer slip road. Some A road junctions are literally a left turn, no run up at all, which is crazy when the A road speed and number of vehicles using it is the same as on a motorway!

I have a friend who won't go on the motorway but will do the busy 70mph bypass to go from her town to the nearest city. I think it's the fear at the thought of it being called a motorway!

The M25 really isn’t that bad. Far less lane changing, often 60mph limits.

I would rather drive on any motorway over city centres I’ve never driven around before!

@BradleyCooperwillbemine

My son is learning to drive at the moment and has been on the motorway. I was quite shocked to discover this, but it is a good idea to get learner drivers used to motorways.

I didn't realise learners could go on motorways actually. Was never taken on one when I was learning. Good experience anyway!

I think the learners on motorways is a more recent thing. DS1 didn’t and three years later DS2 did. DS2 was in 2019 IIRC.

I recently lost my lovely DF very unexpectedly & suddenly at a relatively young age. His and DM’s set up sounds similar to yours OP, in that he did all the motorway driving and DM only ever pootled around her local part of London as she finds motorways scary.

Now he’s no longer there to do the motorway driving, DM is marooned and isolated. I live 3+ hours away (and have done for 15 years) and she isn’t able to drive on the motorway to come and visit. My DB has also had to move to a more affordable area recently which is a motorway drive away. Her friends are also gradually moving away to be nearer their children in cheaper, far flung parts of the country.

For the first few months after DF died, I drove back to see her every weekend but now I’m pregnant, it won’t be long before I’m unable to comfortably manage a 6 hour round trip in one go to see her. Equally, I won’t be able to take a tiny baby in the car for that period of time for a while.

I’m fretting terribly about how isolated she’s going to be once baby arrives DF thought he was doing her a favour by sparing her the motorway driving but it’s just made her extremely vulnerable.

For your own sake OP, get some motorway driving lessons and practise sessions in now and avoid getting yourself into the same position as my DM. She’s going to miss out on so much.