Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never drive on a motorway

126 replies

Cheesechips · 12/02/2022 08:40

I was a late learner, and passed my driving test in September last year. The thought of driving on motorways terrifies me. It's mainly having to join traffic from a slip road. Even 60mph roads scare the hell out me. I drive daily to work but it's a 3 mile trip round the outskirts of London which I'm very confident with, 20-30mph roads. How do you get over the fear of motorways or faster speeds, or did you come to terms with just not motorway driving? My husband is a very confident driver and is happy to do the motorway drives so it's not essential for me at the moment.

OP posts:
etulosba · 12/02/2022 10:57

The first time I drove on a motorway was the day after I passed my test. I nearly side swiped a car next to me when changing lanes because I just relied on my mirrors and didn’t look over my shoulder before moving. It taught me a lesson I have never forgotten.

Apart from the mild irritation caused by people who don’t signal when changing lanes, I think I prefer driving on motorways to any other road.

Momicrone · 12/02/2022 10:59

I hate motorways but rarely drive on them now, trains are far nicer

Sparklingbrook · 12/02/2022 11:05

I would much rather drive on the motorway sitting alone in my car listening to a podcast than sitting on a train. I can’t see how that’s nicer.
I can put everything I need in the boot and have a car to drive around in at my destination.
Exception being going shopping in a city though where parking is an issue.

Momicrone · 12/02/2022 11:07

Because you can chill out on a train as you ain't driving it

Sparklingbrook · 12/02/2022 11:11

@Momicrone

Because you can chill out on a train as you ain't driving it
Oh right. Grin

I can’t chill on trains because there’s too many other people on them. I worry about falling asleep and missing my stop or not being able to see my luggage . So other concerns.

TwoCoffeesPlease · 12/02/2022 11:18

YABU. Motorway driving is much easier than e.g. town driving, you just drive in a straight line!

Joining from a slip is easy you just need to crack on. It can be a little daunting but remember the cars in the left hand lane also don’t want to crash into you so they will be slowing down, moving lane as appropriate. Get your DH to take you out a few times to build confidence but you are really limiting yourself if you refuse to drive on a motorway

Momicrone · 12/02/2022 11:21

Falling asleep on a train has never been a worry of mine, as for other people, I don't mind them

RandomMess · 12/02/2022 12:06

Once you get over the fear motorways are easier as there are fewer things going on.

You can pootle along at 60 keeping your distance and only needing to over take down lorries.

Compared to the Manchester ring road the M25 is a doddle remember for most junctions the slip road becomes a lane before it comes the next slip road off so you have plenty of time to pull over.

MaizeAmaze · 12/02/2022 12:18

See, for me motorways aren't problem. There are loads of duel carriageway round here, and I just see them as an extension to that. But driving in Central london? I hand the keys over to DH on the occasions we need to do that. Likewise I do most of the driving on the back country lanes near my parents, because DH isn't used to it.
In all cases, it's down to lack of exposure to those sorts of driving conditions. If it's something you are likely to need to do, go practice when it's not busy and not important time wise. If it's the sort of driving you are unlikely to do (and I'd tube central london, not drive it if I was visiting PiL without DH), don't stress about it.

llanfairpg3 · 12/02/2022 12:22

I think lessons would be appropriate. Good luck.

WhatEvenHappened44 · 12/02/2022 13:02

@PivotPivotPivottt

I've been driving two years and have never been on a motorway. I have no intentions to either. I have no need to drive on one but it would allow me to take my children on days out etc. I'm very frustrated with myself that I don't as I spent a lot of money learning to drive only to stay local. However it keeps myself and other road users safe that I'm not on a motorway when I'm not confident so it's just how things will need to be. I travel on the dual carriageway regularly with no problem but I do get a bit nervous joining when it's busier.
This is not a great way of thinking. No one is confident on motorways when they pass because at that point no one has driven on a motorway before. Practice is only going to make you a more confident and safer driver.

I would recommend trying motorway driving a quiet times and build up your confidence. Or is there someone you can take with you so you always have the option to pull over on the hardshoulder and switch if you need to? If you've been driving regularly for 2 years including dual carriageways then you definitely have the skills and ability to drive on motorways safely. Sorry it's just sad to hear you talk down on your skills and abilities like that when you absolutely are capable of driving on a motorway safely and it's not how it "needs to be". It's ok to be apprehensive about it.

Sparklingbrook · 12/02/2022 13:55

@Momicrone

Falling asleep on a train has never been a worry of mine, as for other people, I don't mind them
I find long train journeys monotonous and tiring and hate sitting so close to strangers.
enjoyingscience · 12/02/2022 14:00

Motorways are easier and safer than other roads - you just need to crack on.

To be honest though, if you’re such a nervous driver you should maybe think about having extra lessons full stop.

heyitsthistle · 12/02/2022 14:01

YABU just drive. You get used to it.

Policyschmolicy · 12/02/2022 14:02

I hate joining the motorway, but it’s essential where we are if you want to go anywhere that isn’t just staying in our town. I grew up somewhere really rural without motorways so had been driving a couple of years before I had the need.

It’s easier if you know the junctions - of the ones near me I know how I want to approach them, what lane I want to be in and what visibility is like. The most important thing is to match your speed to the traffic and slot in. It is scary, but it also sort of just works. As long as you’re committed and play your part.

D0lphine · 12/02/2022 14:05

Don't beat yourself up- driving is hard esp in busy areas.

When I passed I was still actually a really hopeless driver. I bit the bullet and went and practiced a little every day- like 20 mins in the evening when it was quiet. I built up from there and now I can go anywhere and everywhere!

Just remember after you pass your test- that's when you start learning!! Good luck!

JudgeJ · 12/02/2022 14:06

@Cheesechips

I was a late learner, and passed my driving test in September last year. The thought of driving on motorways terrifies me. It's mainly having to join traffic from a slip road. Even 60mph roads scare the hell out me. I drive daily to work but it's a 3 mile trip round the outskirts of London which I'm very confident with, 20-30mph roads. How do you get over the fear of motorways or faster speeds, or did you come to terms with just not motorway driving? My husband is a very confident driver and is happy to do the motorway drives so it's not essential for me at the moment.
Slight sideline but I'm amazed that motorway driving isn't a part of the test! Not sure how it can be achieved but maybe we need a tiered pass system restricting the power of car for a couple of years and a second test that would test motorway competence. It's totally wrong that someone who scrapes through a test can then go on a motorway with no experience.
WindyState · 12/02/2022 14:07

Motorway driving is literally the easiest driving you can do. Just take a lesson to get over the initial anxiety and go for it.

Blossomtoes · 12/02/2022 14:12

You just have to grit your teeth and do it. The only thing that will improve your confidence is practice. I passed my test on a Tuesday and drove on the M4, M25 and A1M on the Friday. It was terrifying but it meant I’ve happily driven on motorways in the subsequent 30 years.

betwixtlives · 12/02/2022 14:19

yanbu, they scare me to death. I do have to drive on them for work occasionally but I would avoid it if possible

RedRum27 · 12/02/2022 14:35

Join the slip road at a decent speed and just go for it or take motorway lessons. I much prefer motorway driving. Yes traffic can be crazy but our roads are busy and you get used to it. Nice to drive at speed also (safely and legally obvs).

My first time on the motorway when I bought my first car I needed to drive it back to Manchester, was going to use the A roads ended up taking the A38 in Birmingham and the slip road to the M6 north haha. I screamed and shit myself on the slip road. Luckily I had watched a YouTube video the night before on how to use a motorway slip road properly. Best way to do it, got over the initial fear straight away and now use motorways every day including for my commute. Just go for it, it’s not as bad as you may think. Practice makes perfect. Just don’t hog the middle lane and use your indictators.

RedRum27 · 12/02/2022 14:35

Not actually shit myself I forgot to add!

inigomontoyahwillcox · 12/02/2022 14:38

I passed pretty late (36) and was also pretty scared on motorways, especially merging and overtaking. I just practiced practiced practiced and now drive the M11 and M25 3 times a week with no troubles. Still get a bit nervy on the massive roundabouts (the ones with 5 lanes and about 8 exits!) but otherwise feel comfortable.

As has been said above, it's all about matching the speed - so getting up to approximate speed when you hit the slip road, say 60, then adjusting it accordingly when you get closer to merging. The vast majority of the time the cars in the inside lane will either slow or speed up to create a gap, or pull into the outside lane when approaching a slip road, which really helps of course, but obviously you have to be aware and allow for drivers that aren't quite that conscientious/observant.

AlpineSue · 12/02/2022 14:38

Just view motorway driving as a skill you havent learned yet. However never being able to use a slip road will be a big barrier so I would definitely take steps to learn that skill. No rush though, get your confiden ce up a bit first, then get some lessons in that one thing.

ISpyCobraKai · 12/02/2022 14:40

I learned Motorway driving through Glasgow on the M8.
I'm sure I can manage any now as that one is insane!