Tracking teenagers

[glittergrrl]

Am I the only person not doing this or to find this really odd ?

I mostly use mine for lazy reasons, like waking up on a Saturday morning and wondering who is at home and who has gone for a run.

Who knows what “the norm” is these days? My DS turned it on himself on mine and his Dad’s phones then it just became the norm.

I don't have a problem with others doing this but I do find it a bit weird. There's a sort of big brother vibe to it I don't like and I think it would add to my anxiety rather than reduce it as I'd be checking them all the time. As it is neither one has a smart phone yet so it's not an option.

I didn’t even know this was a thing! I would never do it to my children or my husband and would absolutely hate anyone tracking me.

Those saying they can turn it off at anytime.
What would you think if your child suddenly switched it off. Oh that's fine, just wants some privacy. I very much doubt that will be your reaction.

I wouldn’t think much if they turned it off. It would just mean they didn’t want it on anymore. No more than that.

They sometimes set the GPS at a funny location as a joke.

@NoneOfYour32Potatoes

*Those saying they can turn it off at anytime. What would you think if your child suddenly switched it off. Oh that's fine, just wants some privacy. I very much doubt that will be your reaction.*

I wouldn’t think much if they turned it off. It would just mean they didn’t want it on anymore. No more than that.

They sometimes set the GPS at a funny location as a joke.

But what's the point of tracking if you're not worried if it's turned off?

Also, can anyone tell me how knowing where your child's phone is means you know they are safe

Never used tracking apps, ever. It's controlling. If I want to know where anyone is, I text them to ask.

@NoneOfYour32Potatoes

*Those saying they can turn it off at anytime. What would you think if your child suddenly switched it off. Oh that's fine, just wants some privacy. I very much doubt that will be your reaction.*

I wouldn’t think much if they turned it off. It would just mean they didn’t want it on anymore. No more than that.

They sometimes set the GPS at a funny location as a joke.

Which sort of defeats doing it

@ClareBlue

Also, can anyone tell me how knowing where your child's phone is means you know they are safe

Exactly. It doesn't.

But what's the point of tracking if you're not worried if it's turned off?

We do it for communication, not really for safety or transparency. I trust my teens. I don’t need a GPS. But it is easier to just look up where someone is to know if they are available for a call for example or out of the house (when I am too lazy to get up and look who is home) and they know where their parents are if they need a lift or want to phone, ask to grab something for them, find out when we will arrive or even if we drift apart when on days out together- we just look at the GPS to find one another, we don’t have to make arrangements to meet up at a particular location.

Mine both have family link on their phones.
My 15yo is utterly sensible and never goes rogue. I don't look at his tracker often.
My 13yo on the other hand, loads of problems and a school refuser. I need to know where she is every second of the day.

I thought everyone did have the ability to track their teen! I am surprised by this thread to be honest. I would have thought it would be very frowned upon on MN not to. Life is full of surprises.

Day to day I use it infrequently - if I look at the time and it's later than DS 13 is usually home, then I have a quick look and see where he is.

He's just been on a week long school trip. I liked being able to have the odd look to 'check' on him. I know it's only telling me where his phone is and not him, but I find it reassuring.

What I'm not doing is tracking him obsessively and messaging him to ask where he is/why he's there etc.

I can totally see as he gets older that I would turn it off or only have it on for very specific reasons.

Do those of you saying that it's an invasion of privacy not check your younger teenagers phone occasionally, or have other types of parental controls? If you do, do you see that as different?

@SilkySusan

PS all the people who think that tracking is weird.... you do know that YOU are being tracked every holiday or family outing you go on? If your teen has Snapmaps enabled on Snapchat, their fr can see exactly where you stay and dine! Teenagers have very different concept of privacy!

No one I know has that setting on. I don't want people knowing where I am at all times.

And those that don't track, how often do you message or call to check where they are? Do you see that as different?

Bitofachinwag. I literally say in my post that he tells me he doesn't know where his phone is. I didnt say he doesn't tell me. So in your example about your son. He's left his phone at school. Doesn't come home to tell you he's lost his phone, but you look up his location and assume he's safe and .still at school! This has nothing to do with his safety, just an example of how I can easily see where he's left his phone.
Daughter often goes out with her friend and goes visiting friends relatives. She's not familiar with the area, no auntie doesn't know exactly where she lives. It makes it easy for me to see where she is.

@ClareBlue

Also, can anyone tell me how knowing where your child's phone is means you know they are safe

It really isn’t that useful as a safety measure if your teen is intentionally trying to evade you or be deceptive- as I say they can catch a GPS drift or set the location to somewhere that they (and their phone) aren’t.

Wow it seems those anti trackers are far more angry and uptight than those that who couldn't care less about tracking

Ffs each to their own.

I track DD (she's very happy with this and tracks me too) so I know if she's near the station/still at college/McDonald's. She knows if I'm close to picking her up from where ever she is.

She can turn it off if she wants to.

@scaredsadandstuck

And those that don't track, how often do you message or call to check where they are? Do you see that as different?

I never do that. I can't see why I would. Did your parents do that to you growing up?

I find it odd that some people who don't want to use a tracker care so much that other people do. Horses for courses.

@Wherearemymarbles

Wow it seems those anti trackers are far more angry and uptight than those that who couldn't care less about tracking

Ffs each to their own.

True. It’s weird because my teens prefer for it to be on so they know where their parents are

@Wherearemymarbles

Wow it seems those anti trackers are far more angry and uptight than those that who couldn't care less about tracking

Ffs each to their own.

Not angry, I just find it weird. But I moved miles away from home when I was 17 and didn't see my parents for months on end so that might be skewing my view.

@Savingpeoplehuntingthings

Bitofachinwag. I literally say in my post that he tells me he doesn't know where his phone is. I didnt say he doesn't tell me. So in your example about your son. He's left his phone at school. Doesn't come home to tell you he's lost his phone, but you look up his location and assume he's safe and .still at school! This has nothing to do with his safety, just an example of how I can easily see where he's left his phone. Daughter often goes out with her friend and goes visiting friends relatives. She's not familiar with the area, no auntie doesn't know exactly where she lives. It makes it easy for me to see where she is.

Ok, what I meant was if he doesn't come home at all! If he has been kidnapped/in an accident/other thing that could happen on the way home. Then you would assume he was still at school and safe. So in that situation tracking would actually make him less safe as you would assume he was safe and not go out looking dor him/phone his friend etc.

I’m not sure I like the word tracking - we all have it on our find the phone thingy. We’ve never used it to track our daughter or call her out on it, she is free to turn it off and on (she may have in the past I wouldn’t know as I don’t check it) - but again we’ve never judged her or questioned her on where she is (we trust her & never given me a reason to not trust her) She has now left home for uni - I thought she may have turned it off - I wouldn’t know as we don’t monitor it!

It’s there but we’ve (thankfully) never used it to check on her or judge her on her choices! She knows that and I asked her why she hasn’t switched it off for us - her answer was we’ve never questioned her on where she is so she knows we don’t misuse it in an untrusting way!

If I felt the need to check & question her why she is where she is - I would probably remove it for as I think it’s controlling and maybe try to improve my relationship with my child as to why they lying etc

When it has been used it’s because she usually lost her earphone things in the house somewhere & she can use either her phone or mine to ping them!!

We've recently been explaining to my 17 year old why it's set up as she feels it's an invasion of her privacy.

And she's absolutely right. She also shouldn't have to turn it off if she doesn't want to be tracked. She just shouldn't have to have it in the first place.

I imagine it won't be long before the Relationships topic is full of OPs either feeling forced to be tracked by their partners, or being forced to justify why they turned it off.