Tracking teenagers

[glittergrrl]

Am I the only person not doing this or to find this really odd ?

We didn't have this when I was a teenager in the 00s and we survived. I think it's weird.

I went to Glastonbury in the 90s as a teenager of about 16/ 17 - it was just such an amazing feeling - there were no phones at all - we felt really genuinely free and excited to be in this mad place away from normality. Our parents just had to trust we would turn up on the other side of 4 days in a field ! And someohow - god knows how - they found us at the end, I remember getting a lift from a friends mum home from Glastonbury at that time, I have no idea how we arranged it, we must have said see you at x spot on this time on this day - and we did it. It's good for the soul

I completely agree Wondergirl100 . It also gets people used to being tracked and actually wanting to be tracked. This can easily be used by large corporations/governments for nefarious purposes.

@Landlubber2019

I track my kids, they track me. I also track my husband and my mom. It's about knowing they are safe.

I wonder how we ever managed before. Suffocating.

We all use Life360 and can track each other. As others said, the kids track us as (almost) as much as we track them. We've used it to find a lost phone more than once. We've also used it to make sure we don't bump into the kids when they're out shopping with their mates if we're also out shopping. Also, if they don't want to be tracked, they know how to turn it off.

Mine do it for communication, not transparency, or safety. It’s just easier.

They know how to turn it off and they know how to drift the GPS if they want to be incognito.

If one of us is driving home down the motorway, we use it to know when to put the dinner on. Very useful.

We have location on in this family. Everyone has the app, everyone can see everyone else's whereabouts in the family unit.

We've recently been explaining to my 17 year old why it's set up as she feels it's an invasion of her privacy.

It's her choice to have the app on or off. But if I'm worrying about her and she's late home then I can see where she is. If she gets into difficulties my phone will track her phone to within a meter. I can get her without her having to call me, she just needs to send me a specific emoji.

I've assured her that I won't be tracking routinely and not her unless I have good cause to worry (her missing a bus or last train).

She understands now I've explained. She's still free to turn off the app.

I feel more secure knowing where they all are. I also feel secure knowing my husband knows where I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with this as long as it's consensual.

We all have location services on and it’s useful. Anyone can turn it off if they want to but mostly we don’t

@beautifullymad

We have location on in this family. Everyone has the app, everyone can see everyone else's whereabouts in the family unit.

We've recently been explaining to my 17 year old why it's set up as she feels it's an invasion of her privacy.

It's her choice to have the app on or off. But if I'm worrying about her and she's late home then I can see where she is. If she gets into difficulties my phone will track her phone to within a meter. I can get her without her having to call me, she just needs to send me a specific emoji.

I've assured her that I won't be tracking routinely and not her unless I have good cause to worry (her missing a bus or last train).

She understands now I've explained. She's still free to turn off the app.

I feel more secure knowing where they all are. I also feel secure knowing my husband knows where I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with this as long as it's consensual.

I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound entirely consensual to me. Your daughter is 17 and has expressed her discomfort at the invasion of her privacy. You have essentially used emotional blackmail to persuade her to continue going along with it.

She isn't responsible for your anxiety levels. She's not happy about being tracked. And you're still insisting on it. You say she's "free to turn off the app", but she knows you'll be unhappy if she does.

I think that some of you are misunderstanding what people who use tracking app use them for.
Dd is out god knows where with her friend, I'm not going to track her whereabouts. She says she might be late home as she's gone to friends aunties and doesn't know exactly where she is. I can either look it up and say oh you're here get XXX bus or say do you want a lift home, I can be there in 30 mins
Or Ds comes home saying I've lost my phone, I remember having it at lunch... I can see it's in school and tell him to ask in the office tomorrow.
Dh works away, says he'll text when he arrives safely, forgets as usual. I can look up his location and know he's safe.
I finish work at 4pm but unexpectedly need to stay till 5pm. I don't have access to my phone, dc are expecting me home an hour ago and are worried, they can see I'm still at work.

I can track DD16. She can also see where I am. She doesn't give a shit that I can see where she is and I completely trust her to make good judgements about where she goes. I'm not a strict mum but a caring one.

The truth is I only do look at the app when I'm planning on giving her a lift from somewhere (eg. I time my departure from work in order to meet her from the station on my way past and save her a 15 minute walk in the cold).

I definitely don't spend every evening obsessively looking where she is because the truth is, it isn't that interesting. In fact I probably give her MORE freedom and leeway because I know I can find out where she is if I were worried.

Her older sister is at Uni in a different city and has turned her tracking off - fair enough. Although she can probably see where I am; I have nothing to hide!

@sadpapercourtesan she knows she can turn it off. She was discussing it as we always discuss everything.

She asked how I'd feel if she turned it off and I said she was completely free to do so. She is. She's almost an adult and I want her to have that choice.

But she also understands why I worry about her. There have been times in the past I've needed to get her when she hadn't been able to call. So it's not an unfounded concern.

For our family it's not about control, it's a means of communication and safety.

@Savingpeoplehuntingthings

I think that some of you are misunderstanding what people who use tracking app use them for. Dd is out god knows where with her friend, I'm not going to track her whereabouts. She says she might be late home as she's gone to friends aunties and doesn't know exactly where she is. I can either look it up and say oh you're here get XXX bus or say do you want a lift home, I can be there in 30 mins Or Ds comes home saying I've lost my phone, I remember having it at lunch... I can see it's in school and tell him to ask in the office tomorrow. Dh works away, says he'll text when he arrives safely, forgets as usual. I can look up his location and know he's safe. I finish work at 4pm but unexpectedly need to stay till 5pm. I don't have access to my phone, dc are expecting me home an hour ago and are worried, they can see I'm still at work.

Surely the auntie know where she lives? If your daughter is at someone else's house she can just ask them for their adress.

So in your example about your son. He's left his phone at school. Doesn't come home to tell you he's lost his phone, but you look up his location and assume he's safe and .still at school!

@beautifullymad

We have location on in this family. Everyone has the app, everyone can see everyone else's whereabouts in the family unit.

We've recently been explaining to my 17 year old why it's set up as she feels it's an invasion of her privacy.

It's her choice to have the app on or off. But if I'm worrying about her and she's late home then I can see where she is. If she gets into difficulties my phone will track her phone to within a meter. I can get her without her having to call me, she just needs to send me a specific emoji.

I've assured her that I won't be tracking routinely and not her unless I have good cause to worry (her missing a bus or last train).

She understands now I've explained. She's still free to turn off the app.

I feel more secure knowing where they all are. I also feel secure knowing my husband knows where I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with this as long as it's consensual.

Sounds like you've coerced her to be honest.

I track mine. My eldest and I used to argue about it. However after she nearly died because her drink was spiked and I could get to her really quickly she hasn't murmured. My DD's can see my location as well.

I would track my kids with their permission for safety reasons but not behind their backs.

My children are 20 and 18 and between them they only know one friend who has been subjected to this by their parent. It is not the norm at all.

No. Because I believe in showing my kids that I trust them. They know I am only at the end of the phone if they need me.

PS all the people who think that tracking is weird.... you do know that YOU are being tracked every holiday or family outing you go on? If your teen has Snapmaps enabled on Snapchat, their fr can see exactly where you stay and dine! Teenagers have very different concept of privacy!

@sadpapercourtesan completely agree. I felt uneasy reading @beautifullymad 's post.

@Hungry625f

Wow. Tracking partners and parents?? Its not about knowing they are safe, it's a completely inappropriate way to manage your own anxieties. And also controlling. And weird. And a massive red flag.

My thoughts exactly. It makes me shudder to think people somehow think of it as benign and normal.

When my dds are old enough for a phone I won't track them. My tracking of dh consists of a text saying "how far away are you?" So I know if he'll make it home in the morning after a nightshift to take dd to school.

Those saying they can turn it off at anytime.
What would you think if your child suddenly switched it off.
Oh that's fine, just wants some privacy. I very much doubt that will be your reaction.
How many make it implied condition of being able to go out for your children.
I agree that it installs anxiety. To me, it is incomprehensible how we have normalised survalience to this extent and rationalise it but that's just me.

Tracking people is seriously weird. No. Just no. I have teenagers and I am treating them as my parents treated me, i e. tell me approximately when you will be in/phone/txt me if you're going to be later or are staying with girlfriend/pal. Stalking your kids/partner is wrong.