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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 8 year old have a snack supply in her room?

185 replies

jilllanguage · 11/02/2022 20:06

My DD is 8 and a couple weeks ago she asked if she could have a snack supply in her bedroom. I said yes but she still needed to ask if she was going to have any out of it. It's unhealthy snacks, mainly chocolate I admit.

She's had it a few weeks and most of it is still there. The bits she's had she has asked me and I've said it's fine. She likes to set it up all nice and just know it's there more than anything I think.

When she told her dad though he phoned me saying there is no need for it and it's encouraging bad eating habits. He thinks she's too obsessional with food as it is at my house. I suppose he does have a point. She is always thinking about what she'll eat next.

However, she's not overweight at all, she's very active, she eats her vegetables (fruit not as keen on), she will leave breakfast/lunch/dinner/dessert/yogurt etc on her plate so she knows when she is full, in fact she never finishes a full meal to be honest.

I don't see a problem with the snack box, if she was eating it without permission etc then I'd take it away but she's not.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Mama1980 · 12/02/2022 12:36

If she's not finishing her meals, then she has no need for snacks. That would be my issue. She's not eating a full meal so she can snack...which isnt healthy

BuddhaForMary · 12/02/2022 12:37

DD11's mini fridge is barely audible, and it's only about the size of a shoebox!

willweevergetthere · 12/02/2022 12:37

I don't like food in bedroom.
We have a snack cupboard and, as long as regular meals are eaten, everyone is free to help themselves when they want.

Hoghedge10 · 12/02/2022 12:37

Not sure if this has been said already but does your DD want it because of those Tiktoks of parents filling their DC mini fridges?
I have to admit their fridges are better stocked than mine! They do look cute though. I wonder how much the parents do it to be the 'cool' mum to DC's friends though.

ClariceQuiff · 12/02/2022 12:39

@BuddhaForMary

DD11's mini fridge is barely audible, and it's only about the size of a shoebox!
Really? My sister has a mini-fridge for hibernating her tortoise and it's no quieter than a full size one.
BuddhaForMary · 12/02/2022 12:41

@ClariceQuiff DDs is really dinky, and very quiet 🤷🏻‍♀️

ClariceQuiff · 12/02/2022 12:44

@BuddhaForMary I think my sister's is a 4 litre one - she never has anything in it but the tortoise.

TeloMere · 12/02/2022 12:45

LittleBearPad
Fridges in children’s bedrooms - really??
Are you running a lodging house not a home

I'm waiting for someone to tell the OP she's being unreasonable for not putting a microwave and kettle in child's room as well.

thecatsthecats · 12/02/2022 12:47

Learning how to deal with your innate resource scarcity impulses is a handy trick.

My husband and I have separate snack cupboards, which leads to us both eating less, because the primitive parts of our brains are satisfied that there's no competition for the resources.

I've started buying us separate tubs of ice cream for the same reason. If we share one, we can't help mentally tallying halves. If we have one each, we naturally stop at a quarter or a third.

andysgirl22 · 12/02/2022 12:53

I wonder if it is more about the arranging of it and setting it up all nice that she actually likes op? I was just thinking if it is that and you are bothered about the type of fruit could you do similar with something else. Idk maybe get her a load of tools to shape fruits veg etc like those shapers that make boiled eggs look like a kitty... That is if you wanted healthier snacks. To be honest OP i think your set up sounds great , i think ur dd sounds lovely. I have to say my partner LOVeS arranging our food supplies . Think arranging jars, setting up boxes of teabags and sugar packets lol i am not describing it well but it makes my partner feel as if it is home when he does this and i have grown to find it extremely comforting to be honest. Sorry i have added nothing whatsoever of use but thankyou for giving me a smile on an otherwise very dreary morning xx

MusicByTheLake · 12/02/2022 12:55

Even a small fridge is going to make a humming noise - that would drive me bananas if I was trying to sleep.

My kids fridge are 49 litres so a decent size but they’re really quiet. I don’t hear them at all at night, although our room isn’t that close to the kids rooms. The kids haven’t mentioned it though.

MusicByTheLake · 12/02/2022 12:56

Are you running a lodging house not a home

🙄😂

JustLyra · 12/02/2022 12:59

I don’t see any issue with it.

We each have a snack box in our house. They get filled on a Sunday and it’s up to each person when they eat what’s in it, but they all know that when it’s empty it’s empty for the rest of the week.
My kids have vastly better snacking habits than I had as a result because they never just have a snack because someone else is (we’re a big household so that was an issue).

parrotonthesofa · 12/02/2022 13:04

Sounds fine to me! She's not scoffing it all , she's just enjoying having a bit if control / indépendance. She's not overweight and eats well.

Your ex can bog off!

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2022 13:09

@thecatsthecats

Learning how to deal with your innate resource scarcity impulses is a handy trick.

My husband and I have separate snack cupboards, which leads to us both eating less, because the primitive parts of our brains are satisfied that there's no competition for the resources.

I've started buying us separate tubs of ice cream for the same reason. If we share one, we can't help mentally tallying halves. If we have one each, we naturally stop at a quarter or a third.

My brain must be more evolved then.

Not ever felt as if its a competition. Been taught from an early age the idea of fairness and sharing.

BuddhaForMary · 12/02/2022 13:22

@parrotonthesofa

Sounds fine to me! She's not scoffing it all , she's just enjoying having a bit if control / indépendance. She's not overweight and eats well. Your ex can bog off!
Completely agree.
firstchopanonion · 12/02/2022 14:04

@BuddhaForMary

Sometimes I feel like I live in an alternative universe.

Food in bedrooms is a 'filthy habit'?! Give over.

Smoking is a filthy habit.

Spitting in the street is a filthy habit.

Sitting in bed eating a KitKat bears no resemblance to a 'filthy habit'.

This!

The dramatics Confused

KateMcCallister · 12/02/2022 15:39

Isn't it a "thing" on TikTok atm with mini fridges and kids organising them/stocking them?

She's fine having her snack station imo, it's only a matter of time before my dc's ask for such a thing.

crazyjinglist · 12/02/2022 15:47

My husband and I have separate snack cupboards, which leads to us both eating less, because the primitive parts of our brains are satisfied that there's no competition for the resources.

Grin Do you fight over your evening wildebeest at dinner too? If I had my own snack cupboard, I'm pretty sure I would eat more snacks, because I wouldn't feel like I looked greedy if nobody else saw how much of my cupboardfull I'd eaten! And I really don't think any part of my brain thinks I'm competing with dh for the resources.

JustLyra · 12/02/2022 15:57

For all the people laughing at the comment about competitive - how many times does someone else having a snack lead to you having one too?

It’s very very common. And leads to bad habits.

crazyjinglist · 12/02/2022 16:08

For all the people laughing at the comment about competitive - how many times does someone else having a snack lead to you having one too?

That's not inherently competitive though - it's potentially sharing. And, in fact, I'd be just as likely to follow suit with having a snack from my own cupboard if I saw dh having one from a separate cupboard of his own snacks (which I still think is an odd concept!). It would have nothing to do with competition or resources. It would be hunger/appetite triggered by seeing something tasty. Similar to if you were watching tv and saw a Pringles advert, or if you walk past someone on the street eating an ice-cream. No competition there.

crazyjinglist · 12/02/2022 16:11

My kids have vastly better snacking habits than I had as a result because they never just have a snack because someone else is (we’re a big household so that was an issue).

What, they never see another family member eating a snack from their box and think 'Ooh yes, I think I'll have a snack too'?

daisypond · 12/02/2022 16:14

I honestly think the idea of a snack cupboard in a child’s bedroom is insane. I can’t believe some people think it’s OK. Or to have a fridge in a bedroom. Just why?

JustLyra · 12/02/2022 16:15

@crazyjinglist

My kids have vastly better snacking habits than I had as a result because they never just have a snack because someone else is (we’re a big household so that was an issue).

What, they never see another family member eating a snack from their box and think 'Ooh yes, I think I'll have a snack too'?

Nope. They all have them at different times

As opposed to previously when one person wanting one meant they all did

Memyselfandfood · 12/02/2022 16:18

Wouldn’t bother me Confused
Always had snacks in my room.

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