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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 8 year old have a snack supply in her room?

185 replies

jilllanguage · 11/02/2022 20:06

My DD is 8 and a couple weeks ago she asked if she could have a snack supply in her bedroom. I said yes but she still needed to ask if she was going to have any out of it. It's unhealthy snacks, mainly chocolate I admit.

She's had it a few weeks and most of it is still there. The bits she's had she has asked me and I've said it's fine. She likes to set it up all nice and just know it's there more than anything I think.

When she told her dad though he phoned me saying there is no need for it and it's encouraging bad eating habits. He thinks she's too obsessional with food as it is at my house. I suppose he does have a point. She is always thinking about what she'll eat next.

However, she's not overweight at all, she's very active, she eats her vegetables (fruit not as keen on), she will leave breakfast/lunch/dinner/dessert/yogurt etc on her plate so she knows when she is full, in fact she never finishes a full meal to be honest.

I don't see a problem with the snack box, if she was eating it without permission etc then I'd take it away but she's not.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 11/02/2022 22:05

You know your child. My kids have no control and would have it eaten in a week. My friends 8 year old does have a snack draw, shes not sweet orientated and hardly touches it as prefers savoury snacks.

livinthedream1995 · 11/02/2022 22:11

@Hankunamatata

You know your child. My kids have no control and would have it eaten in a week. My friends 8 year old does have a snack draw, shes not sweet orientated and hardly touches it as prefers savoury snacks.
My 6yo would do the exact same thing. Or he’d leave it lying around for my 19 month old to find who would just demolish it in one sitting 😂
Flickflak · 11/02/2022 22:18

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Blueeilidh · 11/02/2022 22:20

It's unhealthy really, in terms of attitude more than calories. Food is best not kept in bedrooms instead it's like a student in halls type thing. She may not be over indulging now but might further down the line

Emmelina · 11/02/2022 22:25

It’s a very cool thing to have your own snack fridge currently. Lots of YouTube/TikTok videos of mini fridges and organising them in a certain way! If she’s not eating them secretly (or at all!) I wouldn’t say there’s much to be worried about, though monitor it of course.

VestaTilley · 11/02/2022 22:30

YABU. Snacks should live in kitchens. And I’d be wary about a child that much damaging their teeth with too many sugary things.

I wouldn’t want to make a deal out of it though as food issues can be triggered so easily. Maybe say you’ve changed your mind about a snack box in the bedroom as you’re worried about crumbs/cleanliness/attracting mice, but you’re happy for her to have it in the kitchen?

I’d also be worried about how many hours she’s apart from you when at your house if she needs a supply of bedroom snacks. Do you eat as a family?

MusicByTheLake · 11/02/2022 22:32

I don’t see the problem, she’s not eating 10 bars of chocolate a day. My kids are teens and have fridges in their rooms for drinks and snacks though and have for a couple of years. 😬 Since they were young they’ve always kept their Xmas chocolate and Easter eggs in their rooms. They’re sensible with the amount they eat so it’s never been an issue.

itwasntaparty · 11/02/2022 22:33

Terrible idea. Mine can have a snack when they get I from school, downstairs so I can see what it it is. In wfh so on calls forever. No food allowed upstairs and definitely not unfettered Accra.

MusicByTheLake · 11/02/2022 22:33

Chocolate isn’t a snack, and kids keeping food in bedrooms is weird.

Lol. 🤡

crazyjinglist · 11/02/2022 22:42

I think this is really weird. In my house snacks are available. Anyone can have them. Having your own prettily curated snack display is unnecessary and odd, not to mention bad for your teeth if you eat them after bed time.

cheekychaplin · 11/02/2022 22:43

@Flickflak

Chocolate isn’t a snack, and kids keeping food in bedrooms is weird.

Is there an official snack list?

crazyjinglist · 11/02/2022 22:44

Essentially... why do you think it's a good idea? Why does she need to do it? What's the point of it?

OwlinaTree · 11/02/2022 22:54

I couldn't let my son have uncontrolled access to food, he'd definitely over eat!

My children have sweet tins with all the sweets they get given in. On Xmas day they were allowed to eat whatever they liked from their Santa stocking etc. DS ate a whole chocolate orange! DD probably ate one chocolate coin.

So the 'let them eat what they like and they will self regulate'... Well it sounds like the op's DD would but not my son!

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 11/02/2022 22:57

Personally I wouldnt have it in her room. My DC have their own snack cupboard in the kitchen, sounds similar, mostly chocolate, and they ask before taking anything from it.

tkwal · 11/02/2022 22:58

It sounds like it's a comfort thing for her and probably something she will grow out of. I would
nt make a big issue out of it as long as she's active and healthy

BuddhaForMary · 11/02/2022 22:58

@Flickflak

Chocolate isn’t a snack, and kids keeping food in bedrooms is weird.
Eyup the good police are here.

There's nothing 'weird' about it.

And chocolate is whatever you want it to be. It's breakfast for me if I fancy it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/02/2022 22:59

Why?

If she’s hungry, she knows where the kitchen is.

MrsElf · 11/02/2022 23:13

We had a sweet jar each in our rooms as children, certainly from infant school onwards. We generally got a pack of 10p mix and £1 on a Friday evening, and I spent ages in January arranging the evil sugar by colour, type, order of preference… then putting it back in the jar to gloat over. We never had to ask before eating our own sweets, and it was a pretty good way to learn to self regulate! The sweet jar was part of a balanced diet, with a bit of parental steering, “well you can eat the Mars bar now if you think you want to, but if you then don’t want this dinner I’m cooking, it’s very rude, and which do you think is better for you?!”. For really strict parents generally, it was quite a surprising approach, now I think about it! Definitely worked though - we’re both quite foodie and were both pretty sensible even through teenage years. I certainly could eat better, but I’d say we have a very healthy relationship with food, and are pretty fit etc. Not sure how much of that was already obvious when we were small though? Interesting comments from pp about how one child might be fine but not the other!

MischievousBiscuits · 11/02/2022 23:45

Sounds like a great way to teach her control and that it's just snacks, she can take or leave.
However I would probably be a little worried about choking hazards especially if she has a little midnight snack, but i guess choking risk for chocolate is minimal.

DiddyHeck · 12/02/2022 00:20

@MischievousBiscuits

Sounds like a great way to teach her control and that it's just snacks, she can take or leave. However I would probably be a little worried about choking hazards especially if she has a little midnight snack, but i guess choking risk for chocolate is minimal.
If it's just snacks she can take or leave, why not leave them in the kitchen like the majority of people do?

OP, is there someone else in the house who is likely to help themselves to her chocolate if she leaves it in the fridge/kitchen cupboard?

Kanaloa · 12/02/2022 01:48

I wouldn’t let any of mine keep a box of sweets in their bedroom. I don’t keep food in my own bedroom either, and it just seems a bit pointless for her to have a box of sweets when she still needs to come down and ask to eat one of them. So why not just keep it downstairs? Then she can get it when she’s asking you.

I’d also worry about her being ‘obsessional’ about food. If she’s keeping food in her room even though she’s not allowed to eat it, and ‘always thinking of what she’s going to eat next’ it sounds like she might not have the best relationship with food generally.

CustardyCreams · 12/02/2022 05:24

My dd is allowed to keep her Halloween trawl, her Christmas stocking snacks, her Easter egg hunt trawl in her room. Occasionally I top it up She doesn’t pig out. Same as me as a child.

BEWARE friends on play dates. Especially if dd sets out the snacks nicely. I did this once age 9 and a domineering friend ate my entire snack box. My mum said it was my own fault. Child was sick. Gruesome.

Hydrate · 12/02/2022 05:59

Since we have a mouse in our kitchen successfully avoiding getting trapped in our live trap for 3 days so far, I would say you are being very unreasonable to allow food in her room.

liveforsummer · 12/02/2022 07:22

I'm far from house proud but I don't allow food in bedrooms, it's not the place for crumbs.

It's definitely a tik tok thing though. Even if she's not watching it directly from the site at home there are compilations of it all over YouTube and she'll see it with friends etc

Moody123 · 12/02/2022 07:37

We have a snack draw for my LO5 which he can go in and get anything he wants and not ask (I'll admit not choclate) however when he's older I'll add that in
I wouldn't have food in the bedroom, as we don't eat upstairs