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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 8 year old have a snack supply in her room?

185 replies

jilllanguage · 11/02/2022 20:06

My DD is 8 and a couple weeks ago she asked if she could have a snack supply in her bedroom. I said yes but she still needed to ask if she was going to have any out of it. It's unhealthy snacks, mainly chocolate I admit.

She's had it a few weeks and most of it is still there. The bits she's had she has asked me and I've said it's fine. She likes to set it up all nice and just know it's there more than anything I think.

When she told her dad though he phoned me saying there is no need for it and it's encouraging bad eating habits. He thinks she's too obsessional with food as it is at my house. I suppose he does have a point. She is always thinking about what she'll eat next.

However, she's not overweight at all, she's very active, she eats her vegetables (fruit not as keen on), she will leave breakfast/lunch/dinner/dessert/yogurt etc on her plate so she knows when she is full, in fact she never finishes a full meal to be honest.

I don't see a problem with the snack box, if she was eating it without permission etc then I'd take it away but she's not.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Alondra · 12/02/2022 07:44

I did a double take after reading your OP.

She is 8 y.o and have a supply of unhealthy snacks in her room? I'm lost for words.

It doesn't matter how tidy and wonderful she is. She is a child. Her mealtimes should be structered with healthy meals without a supply of chocolates and crisps in her bedroom. Today she is not eating them, tomorrow she will because they are easily accessible.

We complain why so many people have problems with weight from early age and the levels of overweight people in our countries. Honestly, I'm shocked by your post. Would you let her have an alcohol supply in her bedroom when she is a teen?

MusicByTheLake · 12/02/2022 07:48

She is 8 y.o and have a supply of unhealthy snacks in her room? I'm lost for words.

Lost for words? Slightly dramatic. It’s a few bars of chocolate that she asks her mum about before eating.

LouLou198 · 12/02/2022 07:58

@CherryDocsInYrBalls

Choking hazard! I'm super paranoid as someone at my school choked to death on pizza in their bedroom, aged 14. It was a tragic accident but I think 8 is too young if there's a danger of choking
Choking hazard was the first thing I thought of too. Nobody eats alone in our house for this reason. We have a no food upstairs rule in our house too. Can't she have her own snack box in the kitchen?
Bagelsandbrie · 12/02/2022 08:16

The choking thing would worry me but when I think about I often leave Ds downstairs eating a snack whilst I’m doing housework or whatever so what’s the difference? Surely everyone eats alone sometimes and at 7 onwards you’d assume they chew pretty well….!

However, we don’t allow food in bedrooms because of the mess / smell so it’s a no from me on that count.

Rivermonsters · 12/02/2022 08:45

No it’s messy and unnecessary. It’s not hard to go down to the kitchen and eat

Ylvamoon · 12/02/2022 08:54

You are doing great
My DC always have snacks/ sweets in their rooms. These are mainly thing they have been given or bought with pocket money.

They don't have to ask to eat it. DC are very active and not overnight.
For the sack cupboard in the kitchen, they will have to ask.

TeloMere · 12/02/2022 09:04

Solitary snacking in bedroom is weird.
If she comes downstairs to ask then snacks might as well be kept in the kitchen.

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2022 09:10

An 8 year old?
In her bedroom?

Good god no.

This has to be a wind up.

firstchopanonion · 12/02/2022 09:14

Today she is not eating them, tomorrow she will because they are easily accessible.

Well, the whole point is - she’s not eating them. Despite the fact they are easily accessible. Because she is 8 and that is old enough to have learned self control.

RedToothBrush · 12/02/2022 09:17

Obviously you can only learn self control if chocolate is in your bedroom and not in the kitchen.

Nuts. The whole thing is nuts.

cheekychaplin · 12/02/2022 09:18

@LouLou198

Choking hazard was the first thing I thought of too. Nobody eats alone in our house for this reason.

Nobody? What do you do if you are hungry and there isn't another adult around?

Thirkettle · 12/02/2022 09:40

No, that's a bunch of fillings waiting to happen. She clearly developing unhealthy habits, and it's your job to dissuade them, not encourage hoarding and mindless snacking.

She will not enjoy fillings and root canals.

Thewindwhispers · 12/02/2022 09:43

Yanbu. She’s enjoying feeling grown up. Grown uos fhave a food cupboard: she wants her own food cupboard. Allowing her to have her own choices about what and when to eat is oart of building a healthy attitude to eating.

So keep an eye on how much junk is in it though. Maybe replace the chocolates with popcorn / choc flavour cereal bars etc

liveforsummer · 12/02/2022 09:47

@cheekychaplin

Why would vermin appear? We don't have vermin in the kitchen so why would we get them in the bedroom by having a few snacks in a drawer?
Kitchens tend to have hard floors and are swept daily or as necessary, in a bedroom with carpet and soft furnishings crumbs nestle and go unnoticed. Doesn't take much to attract a hungry mouse (or worse) family
peboh · 12/02/2022 09:50

I'm not sure why she needs snacks in her bedroom? Surely she can access your kitchen to grab a snack should she want one?
We try to keep food outside of our bedrooms, I especially don't like the idea of a child dropping something under their bed, or behind a desk or something, forgetting it's there and then it growing mouldy! It's just not necessary.

Soontobe60 · 12/02/2022 09:53

@AbsentmindedWoman

Why on earth would anyone need snacks in their room?

I keep juice boxes beside my bed because of type 1 diabetes.

There are other medical conditions where food is a tool in managing the illness.

So they’re not ‘snacks’ as such.
Barrawarra · 12/02/2022 09:54

My DD, 6, had a ‘secret stash’ of some Xmas sweets in her room over the holidays which we let her crack on with. It wasn’t secret, we knew where it was and she would tell us if she wanted it. She is also slim and athletic. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving kids some control and responsibility, if they’ve shown you they can manage it. When they show they can’t, then they need our help.

Soontobe60 · 12/02/2022 09:54

@Thewindwhispers

Yanbu. She’s enjoying feeling grown up. Grown uos fhave a food cupboard: she wants her own food cupboard. Allowing her to have her own choices about what and when to eat is oart of building a healthy attitude to eating.

So keep an eye on how much junk is in it though. Maybe replace the chocolates with popcorn / choc flavour cereal bars etc

I’m a grown up. My food cupboards are all in the kitchen and there isn’t a box of confectionary snacks there.
Soontobe60 · 12/02/2022 09:57

Snacks in the bedroom for an 8 year old is a rubbish idea.
Those who say it’s good because it’s giving her an element of choice - she can choose from healthy foods that are in the kitchen can’t she?

liveforsummer · 12/02/2022 09:58

@AbsentmindedWoman

Why on earth would anyone need snacks in their room?

I keep juice boxes beside my bed because of type 1 diabetes.

There are other medical conditions where food is a tool in managing the illness.

I don't think OP's dd has any of them though. I'm sure she'd have mentioned that.
LuckyAmy1986 · 12/02/2022 09:58

I think that's part of the reason she wants a treat box, she thinks it adds to her room as she has it sitting out for anyone to see when they walk into her room like a little set up you'd get in a hotel room

That’s so cute! I think I’d let her have it up there but she has to ask before having something and has to eat it downstaursv

ginghamstarfish · 12/02/2022 10:04

I may be missing the point, but if a child eats healthy meals why do they need snacks? We grew up fine without them (yes I'm old). We wouldn't have dared go in the kitchen and help ourselves to a biscuit or anything for that matter, we ate what mum we were given or went without. Same at, friends' houses too. Strangely there didn't seem to be many fussy eaters in those days. Amazing how things have changed.

Noisyneighneigh · 12/02/2022 10:05

8 is really little. Plenty of time for that when she is a teen. Seems unwholesome for a small child to sit in her room eating unhealthy snacks. It might encourage unhealthy associations.

I am prepared for all the HmmConfused emojis.

Noisyneighneigh · 12/02/2022 10:12

@ginghamstarfish

I may be missing the point, but if a child eats healthy meals why do they need snacks? We grew up fine without them (yes I'm old). We wouldn't have dared go in the kitchen and help ourselves to a biscuit or anything for that matter, we ate what mum we were given or went without. Same at, friends' houses too. Strangely there didn't seem to be many fussy eaters in those days. Amazing how things have changed.
I agree. I think it's healthier not to snack unless the kid has to wait a really long time for a meal. My kids do have puddings and cakes sometimes but they don't regularly snack in between meals as they wouldn't bloody eat their meal. However I don't think kids were less fussy back then, my granny who's nearly 80 remembers being fussy and just having to go hungry. The same for me. I had a few genuine dislikes and I had to go hungry.
RedToothBrush · 12/02/2022 10:13

@ginghamstarfish

I may be missing the point, but if a child eats healthy meals why do they need snacks? We grew up fine without them (yes I'm old). We wouldn't have dared go in the kitchen and help ourselves to a biscuit or anything for that matter, we ate what mum we were given or went without. Same at, friends' houses too. Strangely there didn't seem to be many fussy eaters in those days. Amazing how things have changed.
You are not missing the point.

You are identifying the problem.