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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move because dh inherited property?

641 replies

bowmejen3 · 11/02/2022 12:46

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

OP posts:
Mimilamore · 11/02/2022 14:53

London is a fabulous place to raise children, so much access to green spaces and lots of things to see and do.... You get to know the areas to avoid...
I honestly think that some people imagine that anybody in London with children lives in a top floor 1 bed flat in ' murder mile'
I'm sure Manchester is great too😬

cdba88 · 11/02/2022 14:54

Where abouts in Wythenshawe is the house? It really isn't that bad everywhere.

I'd sell the house and move to Heald Green or Cheadle. South Manchester is lovely on the whole.

ivykaty44 · 11/02/2022 14:56

or could you rent the house out in whythenshaw and use that money towards a mortgage in the area you want to be living?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 11/02/2022 14:57

I live in London just up the road from where you are and I would NEVER consider raising children here. Unfortunately that hypothetical 240 grand as a deposit would barely touch the sides to buy a decent property here. Shared ownership is a scam, so please give that idea up right away. I’m on team DH. Sell the Wythenshaw house, rent in Manc for a bit to get to know the place and then buy somewhere which will give you a manageable mortgage and live a happy and secure life. This said as someone who has lived my entire adult life (40 years plus) in London

cdba88 · 11/02/2022 14:58

Apologies! I didn't RTFT.

Close to Northenden/Gatley is actually completely fine. It's where I live, you could probably be one of my neighbours!

Benchill I would avoid, but Sharston is fine and so is Crossacres really.

I'd do it up if it needs it, sell it, and like I said buy in SK8 somewhere.

BoristalkedaboutBruno22 · 11/02/2022 15:00

In your case I would move to Manchester in a heart beat. I do love London, I’m in suburbia

Peakypolly · 11/02/2022 15:01

My family originates from London and I love it there but, unless you are seriously wealthy, bringing up a family there leaves you with little to spare.
I wouldn't hesitate to move to Manchester in your situation.

endingintiers · 11/02/2022 15:02

The shared ownership scheme is now off the table as you're home owners.

So it's whether you want to move to the house and benefit immediately from mortgage free living, and potentially save money, including a deposit for somewhere in a different area.

Or rent/sell the house and use proceeds to buy somewhere in London/Birmingham.

You haven't mentioned jobs so I assume that's not a factor.

I would do some sums and work out how much you would save moving there (vs drop in income), from selling after all fees, or from renting out allowing for all associated costs. This would give a better base to make a financially motivated decision, which is what you're considering.

User112 · 11/02/2022 15:02

Can you move somewhere just outside London, like Milton Keynes?

Spilt 240k. 100k for a deposit on a 3bed semi costing around 400k, 60kx2 deposits on two 2bed btl flats as investments?

It’s silly to not take advantage of crazy low mortgage rates!!

I don’t know how much you both earn, I’m assuming you have 2 kids.

If invested properly, it can ge life changing money for you and your kids.

Squidgames4U · 11/02/2022 15:02

Deposit in London if I were you!

Squidgames4U · 11/02/2022 15:03

£200k would be a great deposit if you move a bit more East but stay on the tube.

FairyLightQueen · 11/02/2022 15:04

I agree with your DH. I wouldn't raise kids in London either. I'd sell the house he has inherited and use the proceeds + the savings you already have to buy in a different area though.

FairyLightQueen · 11/02/2022 15:04

(a different area of Manchester, that is)

FairyLightQueen · 11/02/2022 15:05

@bowmejen3

Ahhh so much to think about!

Gonna throw a big curve ball here too..

My family moved to Birmingham to live with my brother and all my childrens cousins live in Manchester.. same age children from BIL and SIL..

Dh says it's even more of a factor but I said we can't just live somewhere on the hope they will be all close growing up! There quite close now anyways (as close as 4 year olds can be)

Honestly in that case it would be a no-brainer, it sounds like you're already close to your families so moving closer makes sense if you have the opportunity. You could even buy in a town between Manchester and Birmingham?
giveyou2reasons · 11/02/2022 15:07

No opinions on one city vs the other, but being near family and being mortgage-free would be worth a great deal to me. I've stayed in the area where I was born/bred, but not so much because I love the area (it's okay, but there are things about it I dislike), as because this is where family still live, I'm familiar with it, etc. Relocating to be near family is a step harder than just staying in the same area to be near family, though, and I'd want to feel confident about the employment situation.

Putt all that aside, I wouldn't want to live in a bad part of town, if "bad" means the neighbourhood feels unsafe or is headed downhill. If it's not a safe area, I'd prefer to sell the house and relocate to a nicer part of the same area, somewhere still nearer to family and with reasonable housing costs.

mediciempire · 11/02/2022 15:10

idk why people are saying a pro of london is that kids can get the tube and get around independently. they can do that in manchester too! they get the tram or the bus or the train and do all sorts.

Desert76 · 11/02/2022 15:11

I would definitely consider moving close to DC's cousins if my children were young, and jobs weren't an issue.

It's a good time to move - we moved across the country when Dc were 1 and 4, and they settled in well.

I would live in Manchester house for a year or two, save some more money towards an even bigger deposit when you sell, get to know the surrounding area well, and look towards buying a lovely house in a great area of Manchester when older Dc is 7 or so, and you don't have to worry about infant class sizes so moving school is easier.

muddyford · 11/02/2022 15:11

I'm with your DH. Being mortgage-free is unbelievably liberating.

bollocksthemess · 11/02/2022 15:12

OP, we own a 3 bed ex council semi in South Manchester, five minutes from Wythenshawe hospital, on an estate where most are still council houses. Fair enough, it’s the only council estate in a really quite posh area but it’s still a council estate.

One house on the estate with a loft conversion has just sold for over £500000 and went to sealed bids.
I know the area you’re on about. I’d go and live there mortgage free for two years, save like you were paying a mortgage, and spend the two years looking round to see where else you’d like to live up here.
If you really hate it and want to move back after two years, you can move with your £240K plus whatever else you’ve managed to save.

Lavender24 · 11/02/2022 15:14

In your situation I would move to Manchester, especially as a PP says that specific area is OK. If you didn't like it you could sell and move elsewhere. What's your job situation? Would it be hard to find another in your sector?

Lou9878 · 11/02/2022 15:14

Buying outright is so, so much better than share ownership.

I'm a southerner, but I'd honestly be thinking seriously about this, being mortgage-free is one of those things that can set you and your family up for life.

Where's your support network, and how old are your kids? If your support network isn't in London and your kids aren't too settled I'd go for it.

WittyUser · 11/02/2022 15:19

I agree with a PP that inheriting a house in Manchester is a red herring and you're falling into a trap of the endowment effect. Instead, think of it as inheriting £240k. Would you choose to buy the exact same house in the exact same location in Manchester? Would you choose to stay in London? Would you choose a different location?

Eycaluptus · 11/02/2022 15:21

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED. Always something new to explore.

You do know all of this exists outside of London too don't you? Except the tube, but you can get buses/trains/trams round most cities and towns. We are not all feral up here you know.

museumum · 11/02/2022 15:23

I would definitely move to Manchester. I love London but the reality is it's unaffordable for many of us. Manchester is a great city with lots of culture and other stuff do do and decent transport (ok, i know trains are crowded and unreliable but it's a good network for teens to get about).
depending on the house and local schools I'd consider selling it and buying in another area with a small mortgage. you'd still be much more secure.

Leilala · 11/02/2022 15:24

Yeah…

Don’t live in WYthenshawe would be just far too different to perhaps your aspirations in London.

The North west does have some very nice, affordable and achievable places with a £250,000 budget.

Not sure an ex council house in Wythenshawe will fetch that much?

Even if you sold the house and mead a much larger deposit and paid a very small mortgage. Are your jobs movable?

Cheshire is nice Wink