To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

If you don’t like the area his inherited house is in you could sell it and use the money to buy somewhere in a nicer area on Manchester, your money will still go much further than in London. Manchester is a great city and I’d far rather live there than London tbh

What about the job situation? How easy will it be for you to relocate?

I’d sell an move to a nicer area i the north west. No way would move to Withenshaw ( which I assume is where it is). But then I would nt want to raise my kids in London either and DH has a point.

If the area isn’t great I’d sell the house and movie to a nicer area, London would never be my top places to live especially with children and I’d rather be mortgage free and closer to family, it’s heartbreaking that your DH has lost his DD but he has left you a wonderful opportunity

@LittleGwyneth

I think people who don't like London probably need to try to understand that the OP does like London, and so saying 'I would move because London is shit' is colossally unhelpful.

Yes exactly.

I grew up by the seaside/countryside, lived in London and Birmingham in my twenties and have settled on the edge of a market town to raise family 20 mins drive from a major city and a 15 min walk to open fields and woods. Market town is perfect for me. People often seem incredibly fearful of relocating.

There’s tons to do in Manchester and that area. It’s a huge cultural city with great transport in and out. No need to be sitting bored in wythenshawe - go live there and head into Manchester like you’d head into London.

And I think your H has a good point- all my friends who stayed in Manchester have been able to afford much nicer houses much sooner than me down here near London, even though my job is extremely well paid (but somewhat restricted to this area).

Would definitely leave London and move to Manchester.

No contest. Manchester is a great city.

You’ve lived in your hometown so it’s only fair to give his a shot.

Living mortgage free is amazing, or you could sell and buy somewhere else in Manchester for so much less than in London. And have a much better standard of living than in London.

Another vote for sell and move elsewhere in Manchester. We've just sold ours in a nice area of Salford for 248k, 3 bed semi- not far from town.

You would be mortgage free or there abouts for a nice sized house rather than a flat and opportunities for the kids growing up are still great in Manchester

I'm on your side @bowmejen3

I really like that part of London, and I really wish that I'd been raised in London myself. You were very lucky to be, and it would be great to pass that onto your kids.

£240k is a big deposit and you could really set yourselves up pretty well with a mortgage.

And I think if a couple are not agreeing about where to live then the status quo prevails. You're in London now, your kids are Londoners and you want to stay there. If your darling husband wants to change everything round he needs to persuade you. And it sounds like he hasn't.

Personally, I would choose a mortgage free house in an decent enough area anyday over the burden of a mortgage and a London postcode.

If you’re talking about Wythenshaw I really, really wouldn’t recommend it.

I live in London (and mortgage free) - and love both
However if you've lived here as a couple for 10 years, why not give Manchester a try.
I've had lots of friends go down the shared owenership route in London, found the property hard to sell, found it hadn't gained as much in value as comparable 'open market' properties, and they;d paid a shed load in rent - so hadn;t really given them the property ladder leg up they'd hoped for.
Why not give Manchester a try, and if you don't like it, sell the house and use that as a deposit for somewhere in/near London?

@bowmejen3

Ahhh so much to think about!

Gonna throw a big curve ball here too..

My family moved to Birmingham to live with my brother and all my childrens cousins live in Manchester.. same age children from BIL and SIL..

Dh says it's even more of a factor but I said we can't just live somewhere on the hope they will be all close growing up! There quite close now anyways (as close as 4 year olds can be)

Even more reason to move.

Why do you want to live in London so much? Is it because it is familiar and “safe”? How do your family feel, having moved there?

That's tough, I would take London over Manchester any day. I LOVE London. Good schools, fantastic parks and museums, like no other city in the world, so much to do for a teenager. Also much better weather! There's no way in hell I'd move to Manchester, especially a rough area.

Also, you'd leave your home town, friends, everything you've ever known. That's a big ask, regardless of location.

Why not rent out the house, it will massively help with the mortgage payments in London.

I think you’d be mad not to take the opportunity to be mortgage free and your family are now in Birmingham?! Manchester is an incredible city. I live in London, it’s great I love it but if I had the chance to be mortgage free in a large home I’d jump at the chance.

But you're living in the arse end of London now! Your kids are young now - mine are teenagers and it's brutal living in fear of what might happen to them in London right now. Go to Wythenshawe - try it out - move if you don't like where you are. The fact that you're mortgage free means you'll have the spare income to give your kids opportunities that they wouldn't have while your scrimping for every penny in London. Give it a go - you've got nothing to lose.

I've spent the last 11 years living in London, never lived up North and I'm team DH. My DP and I haven't had children due to living in London (we're in Wimbledon) and rental prices are a fortune, houses are just not affordable at all and I think it's a lot safer for children away from London.

Are your jobs a factor?

FWIW I've stayed in London while many have left and now my DDs are 12 and 10 am really starting to see the advantages from an independence perspective. Dd1 gets the tube & train and can go abs see friends in other parts of town.

Prices in Hackney have become extreme though. You could sell and use the deposit to buy in a less pricey part of London - further east for example - but you would then have a mortgage.

It is tricky.

@AryaStarkWolf

No of course YANBU, I understand his points but if you don't want to leave London then he needs to respect that too

I agree. You have to find a compromise. It's nice that you have this house to sell, it will set you up.

No way on earth could I be persuaded to go and live in Manchester - I dislike it intensely. No comparison to London.

But 240 is not a huge amount for a deposit on a London home. How much mortgage could you afford?

It doesn't matter if you only own a % of it - that % will rise in value. And London property values will rise faster/higher than Manchester.

Not at all ‘snobby’ or illogical to have a preference for London. All locations have pros and cons.

Would look into housing options, costs, jobs and schools in both locations, and any others you’ve identified as options (eg sell the Manchester place and buy elsewhere in that city or another).

Is there a compromise whereby you move out of London to get a bit more bang for your buck but not as far as Manchester?

sorry for your dh loss

How fantastic to relocate to wythenshaw and be mortgage free, its a great area, easy to get the tram into the centre, lots of parks, plenty to do in the north east

Proximity to nieces/nephews (DCs) cousins shouldn’t be a big factor IMO. DC may or may not get on well as they grow up.

If DH wants to live nearer and spend lots of time with his siblings, and their families, that’s still not anywhere near as important as housing, jobs, schools etc IMO. Some people might disagree, of course, it’s just you and DH whose opinions matter.