To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

Ah yes! It does rain an awful lot in Manchester. It would really get me down. Even my Manc friends admit that.

I know Hackney is very trendy now but there was a time it was seen as a bit grim. Personally I would want to bring my children up in Central London due to how fast paced life is and the amount of pollution. If you can sell the house as others have said you could put it down as a deposit on somewhere you both like.

@ShittyFingers

I’m team DH - but what I’d probably do is sell the house and then move to nice part of Manchester

I wouldn’t live in London if I was paid to though

This exactly.

And yes the rain!

I do love Manchester but could never go back.

I'm sure Manchester is great but personally I wouldn't want to move 4-5 hours away from my family. 1-2 hours maybe. Could you rent out the Manchester house and use the income to supplement your London lifestyle or overpay a London mortgage?

Team DH. His observation about providing better life chances for your kids when they grow up is spot on. Imagine all your income being disposable, it’s most people’s dream.

I've been in this situation. I'm a Londoner, ex-dh from a northern city where we could have bought a house for half the price, but I didn't want to leave my home city when we discussed this about 15 years ago.

Now we are divorcing and I will have to downsize to a small flat to afford to stay here, but I am only a few years from retirement and can't envisage later life in another city. I love the buzz, the museums, concerts, theatres, history, different areas to explore. I love doing all that in other cities too, but London is so big that I can e.g. go to a different museum or concert every day.

For me it's the hugeness and variety of places and activities that makes me love living here. If you don't take full advantage of all of that, or if space and a garden are more important to you, then probably a smaller, less expensive city would be a better option.

I'd certainly move from Hackney to manchester.

Go live in Wythenshawe for a couple of years. Save up as much as you can whilst living mortgage free (before you get used to it!)...

Then decide if you sell and move within Manchester or sell and move further south or what.

The opportunity RIGHT NOW of a mortgage free property that gives you more space, lower living costs and the opportunity to save ... you would be mad to pass that up.

It doesn't have to be forever!

I'd love to live in London!! I can imagine what you say about it being great as a teenager. But practically with a young family and the living expenses, I just couldn't see it working unless you're really well off.

We live in Leeds, not far from Manchester. It's great for families and young people and the train isn't long if you wanted to go back to London to visit.

If I was you, I would sell the house and buy in a nicer part of Manchester. You would have a lovely quality of life and a garden for your kids, which for me although small thing would be a massive factor.

I would never want to move to Manchester over London. You and him have committed to a life in London and I don't think it's fair for him to try and completley rewrite the rules of your life. Moving is a HUGE deal, especially if it makes you very physically close to his family but not yours. I'd be considering whether there's a middle ground, but I certainly wouldn't move there.

Another vote here for selling the house in Manchester, sorry, Wythenshawe (as others have said, that's a fair way out from the centre) and using it to buy in another area - couldn't you let your London house out for a bit to at least give it a try?

Manchester really is a great city, and one of the best after London when it comes to transport links. The airport's good, the shopping's good, decent hospitals including some world-leading ones like the Christie, two good universities (one Russell group, one ex-poly, plus HE colleges); probably the best employment prospects in the north (okay, people living in Leeds might like to debate that one, and no Sheffield, you're not the north, you're the Midlands, just); you're close to Leeds, Liverpool, the Lakes, the Peak District; not that far from North Wales or Scotland...

Mind you, I wouldn't live in London unless I was being paid £1 million a day: I can just about cope with it as a tourist once or twice every five years. I would live in Manchester though (maybe just not some of the, er, edgier bits of it). (And if things had worked out differently with a previous partner, that area is where I would have been living; I worked in the city centre for a bit.)

I know the area of Manchester you mean and I wouldn't want to live there. But the ex council houses in that area are very solidly built and all have big gardens and driveways. You could sell the house and live in another better area of Manchester very easily with £240k as a deposit and a small mortgage that you can likely pay off early, ie Sale, Didsbury, Heaton Moor, Chorlton.

We have parks (one of the biggest in Europe!) theatres, museums, restaurants, sporting events, gigs and loads of other "city" attractions without the expense of London or the ballache of trekking around for an hour to get anywhere. The metrolink is easy and far nicer than the underground and you're less than an hour's drive away from some of the most beautiful countryside in the UK.

If someone left me a house in London I'd sell it and invest the money, would never ever live there.

I think you and your DH need to start from scratch in discussing how you want to live, and then how best to use the inheritance to support that.

Where you can both get the best jobs, that suit you and you enjoy.

Where you can get the best family and friend support network.

Is 'Mortgage-free' the best investment? Or is it best to top up the inheritance with the level of mortgage you could get, so that you can upgrade in future? Mortgage free can potentially be a trap if house prices continue rising because it pegs the value of your capital to that house. Mortgage rates are still very low.

What would you do with the money you are currently saving towards a deposit / mortgage and rent etc? Could you save or invest it in a way that that money keeps its value in the same way it would if it was paying a mortgage on a property?

FWIW I have loved bringing up kids in London - and they agree. Hackney has some fantastic schools etc.

Manchester is also a vibrant city with lots of opportunities for teens, but specific area might be an issue and the inheritance (plus a small mortgage) might give you a wider choice.

@titchy

Those on team dh obvs don't know Wythenshawe

There has to a third option though - £200k+ (do houses in W really go for that ) is a very good deposit to buy and own all of - London/Essex border maybe?

Yes I'd much rather raise kids in London. And surely you have jobs in London? Sell and use it for a deposit.

All the people saying to move to the house clearly don’t like London and have never lived there - half of them are saying “I visited once and hated it”.

Well, my parents moved out of London just before I was born to a midlands market town and I WISH they’d stayed in London and raised me there. I’ve lived in Manchester and London (currently in London) and I’m never leaving - it’s certainly not depressing and unfriendly as some people say, there’s a lovely, friendly community where I am and always things to do. I had the choice between buying a 2 bed terrace in my hometown and a one bed flat in London and chose the flat - no contest. The vibrancy of life compared to dull suburban Groundhog Day? I know what I’ll take.

Manchester obviously has more going for it than a small town but even so it’s not London - if I had kids I wouldn’t deny them the chance of being raised there. Don’t listen to the London haters. Sell the house and use it for a deposit in south east London where you get more house for your money.

Ahhh so much to think about!

Gonna throw a big curve ball here too..

My family moved to Birmingham to live with my brother and all my childrens cousins live in Manchester.. same age children from BIL and SIL..

Dh says it's even more of a factor but I said we can't just live somewhere on the hope they will be all close growing up! There quite close now anyways (as close as 4 year olds can be)

So….
Your DH wants to move back home, near his family.
He wants to live in his childhood home, left to him by his dad.

You are currently living in London, where you have grown up and have met I assume.

If you disregard the issue of the mortgage etc…. what you are considering is a massive change.
It’s asking you to move somewhere you dont know with no support network at all. It also feels like your DH will just slot right back in that life, which might well not be the way you live your (together) life iyswim

Even if you look at it on a financial pov, there are many thing you can do, Incl renting his dad house, selling it and investing that money. Selling the house and buying something else.

And of course, you need to be able to find a job in Manchester…
Which brings another question. Did your DH move to London for work?
Because he needs to remember that whatever he will find in Manchester is likely to come with a lower wage too.
Will you be able to find work there?

@ShittyFingers

I’m team DH - but what I’d probably do is sell the house and then move to nice part of Manchester

I wouldn’t live in London if I was paid to though

This.

I was born and brought up in London and spent many years living in Manchester. I think your DH should sell the house in Manchester and you should use the money as a deposit on a house or flat. I'd avoid shared ownership and work out how much of a mortgage you could comfortably afford. Then, with this amount in mind, compare property prices (and salaries) in London and Manchester. Also look at secondary schools; there are some great grammars in Manchester.

So would you consider Birmingham or somewhere between Birmingham and Manchester?

I love Manchester. I love London.

Have lived in both. I would pick Manchester any day. I’d sell the house though and then buy somewhere in a different area and get a small mortgage. I love Didsbury personally. You could even move further out to the other end of the borough where there is some nice towns.

I think people who don't like London probably need to try to understand that the OP does like London, and so saying 'I would move because London is shit' is colossally unhelpful.

@bowmejen3

Ahhh so much to think about!

Gonna throw a big curve ball here too..

My family moved to Birmingham to live with my brother and all my childrens cousins live in Manchester.. same age children from BIL and SIL..

Dh says it's even more of a factor but I said we can't just live somewhere on the hope they will be all close growing up! There quite close now anyways (as close as 4 year olds can be)

Growing up around family and having no mortgage or rent to pay (or a small amount if you use the house as a deposit for something better) is invaluable.

Now you've thrown in the family curveball it would be a no brainier for me to consider moving to Manchester ( or selling and buying in surrounding areas). You'd be close to both families, have a support system around you, your children will have great relationships with their family.

The cost of living in Manchester is lower than it is in London, you’ll be mortgage free and have so much more disposable income to give your kids a happy life.
That is security that takes some most of their lives to get.
The kids are young so will adapt.